Hi all, I'm 20 and my girlfriend is coming up 27.

Recently after I came back from work, she hit me with the bombshell that she doesn't think our relationship is working out and that she wants to be single for a while. She swears blind there isn't another guy in the wings.
After much discussion and a few days apart we decided we would give it another try, this time giving her and myself time to ourselves (I.E Me at my folks for 2-3 days a week). However any little argument and she only brings up that this is why she wants to be on her own.
She tells me she loves me, but feels guilty when she tells me how she feels about the break up.
I do think we make a great couple, and I'm planning a romantic evening for two this Friday and I have her a bunch of roses...

Am I wasting my time? Or do you think we could work things out at all?

P.S Sometimes I can tell she loves me, with texts etc and the way she is... and other times she seems cold as if she can't make up her mind.

Any advice appreciated.

Thanks.

In my opinion, you're in an unhealthy relationship. Someone who truly loves you will not change their mind or be confused about why they love you every other day. Usually when someone in a relationship needs "time alone", it's not working. You can try to fix it, but why waste the energy? It's clear you're both uncompatible and/or there's something not settling right with you guys.

Consider finding someone new, someone who will treat you better, and love you unconditionally.

I'm with C0bra. She's knocking herself out to find reasons the two of you can't work out. Give it up and go No Contact -- and find a woman who respects you.

Thanks for the help guys, it's a shame because we used to be like two peas in a pod... soul-mates I'd say if I believed in that sort of thing.

She says she has been unhappy for a while but I had no idea, so now I'm trying to make it right and I feel like I am just peeing against the wind.

I guess it is only going to lead to more heartache if I keep on trying, I'll let things go I guess. It's heartbreaking though, now I have to move back to my folks and it's like my life is back to square one. I said when we first met she was going to break my heart and she promised she would never... pah I can't even imagine moving on.

Thanks though guys.

Ryan.

You're still writing this story, this is just a new chapter. Turn the page, and make it a good one!

The best you can do is to tell her how you feel and hope she feels the same way. I understand that it feels like it came out of nowhere for you, cause it felt like things were going well in your mind. But in reality and in her mind, things were going downhill, but she didn't keep you updated about how they were going downhill. Instead, it looks like she popped it out of nowhere.

But if she's been thinking about it for a while, then she's fairly sure that things aren't going to work out.

So at this point, if you want her, tell her how you feel, which you already did. But there's no guarantee she will feel the same way, so it does look like you'll have to start moving on.

Sometimes feelings change, it happens, we can't control it.

Everything is sorted now folks, thanks for the replies. :)

What was the verdict Ryan? Did you cut all ties or did you manage to come to some resolution with her.

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Originally Posted by Huggybearza

what was the verdict Ryan? did you cut all ties or did you manage to come to some resolution with her.

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Ah, We came to a resolution. I made her a candle-lit dinner after she got home from work, and she broke down saying how sorry she was to have put me through this. She was just confused about it all.

Thanks for the concern :)

Ryan.

I'm glad to hear dude, nice to hear things are working out for some of us.

Unlike me, time will tell I guess! :D

Keep us posted, cheers!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Huggybearza

I'm glad to hear dude, nice to hear things are working out for some of us.

unlike me, time will tell i guess! :D

keep us posted, cheers!

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Ah man things will work out, where there's a will and all that.

And yeah man I will do.

Good luck, and cheers :)

Ryan

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ryantheatheist

Ah man things will work out, where there's a will and all that.

And yeah man I will do.

Good luck, and cheers :)

Ryan

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You can will all you want - if she's looking for the door this is not going to work out. Maybe candles and roses work for a while. I don't think they're to work long term.

She's 27 and established. You did mention that it's her house/apartment and your other living choice is your mother's.

Maybe she's looking for someone with a like situation and experience.

I predict it will be over in 30 days.

Just because your single and lonely, doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

But thanks for the support! :)