We have had a rocky past 7 yrs lied, cheated, an the worst of it, to one another but yet we still always find our way back to each other. This time it's different I no in my heart as well as with her were both ready to settle down an parent our 5 yr old boy, but I'm tearing us apart with my parionia. I can convince myself that I'm thinking crazy an it's all in my head but soon it all turns back around and hits me only harder. I can't get past the thought she's being "scandoulas" or "shady" towards me I no none of its true deep down but it feels as though deep down it really is true from things I fixate on such as massiging apps hidden apps password changes ext. what ever the case is it doesn't matter I love her more than life itself and see nothing but her in my future but I just have to stop obsessing over this I can't take it she can't take it and nobody deserves it please help me!!

That's the problem with thoughts that just don't go away on their own- they keep coming around for a reason. That reason is, they need to be settled, one way or the other.

If you are having thoughts that your partner is, or has not been, honest or trustworthy, and those issues are not resolved, they need to be resolved.

If some of this is happening because you also, had the same behaviour as she did, maybe you need to think that she too, likely has doubts, even if she doesn't express them.

Because there is hope, and there is still love- don't blow it by making assumptions, and tucking the bad stuff away thinking it will not resurface again. It will.

Please consider counselling and learn through talking and listening, how to address those thoughts that keep creeping up. Learn how to let that wall down, and accept your own faults, as well as those of your partner.

Because the two of you seem to have the same goals, getting the truth and doubts out and put to rest, will only make your relationship stronger.

I would think counseling , it often brings temp pain while we work toward a truth, but if both people will be open.

Also how we act on our feelings of jealous makes a difference also.

It sounds like there has not been a good relationship in this. Why do you think it is different now ?

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I would think counseling , it often brings temp pain while we work toward a truth, but if both people will be open.

also how we act on our feelings of jealous makes a difference also.

It sounds like there has not been a good relationship in this. why do you think it is different now ?

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I feel it is different now by the way we talk to each other about what one another wants we have both gone out let loose had our fun mOre than enough times and now feel like it's that time. Basically growing up and matureing she's almost 24 I'll b 25 we werw hi school sweethearts and the one thing that we always Swore to each other that we would never give up on one another, all the ties that lead me right back and as her too

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

That's the problem with thoughts that just don't go away on their own- they keep coming around for a reason. That reason is, they need to be settled, one way or the other.

If you are having thoughts that your partner is, or has not been, honest or trustworthy, and those issues are not resolved, they need to be resolved.

If some of this is happening because you also, had the same behaviour as she did, maybe you need to think that she too, likely has doubts, even if she doesn't express them.

Because there is hope, and there is still love- don't blow it by making assumptions, and tucking the bad stuff away thinking it will not resurface again. It will.

Please consider counselling and learn through talking and listening, how to address those thoughts that keep creeping up. Learn how to let that wall down, and accept your own faults, as well as those of your partner.

Because the two of you seem to have the same goals, getting the truth and doubts out and put to rest, will only make your relationship stronger.

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Thank u for your advice I will of It into consideration an truly try fix my insercurtys.