Been in a relationship for 9 years. We have a 4 year old son. Boyfriend used to abuse drugs and has been in and out of rehabs and prison. This time he is attending NA and has been clean almost a year. Problem is due to all of his past lies and behaviors, I do not trust his motives about anything. I think he still lies and tries to manipulate me to benefit himself. He also chats with girls online. I found this out by looking in his email. He says he just does it for amusement but it upsets me and I think he should stop. I think he is looking for a woman who is willing to help him a lot more than I do and when he finds someone he will leave me. He does work and contributes money to the household. Our son adores him. I just am not happy and I find myself always doubting his words and double checking everything he says. I don't like being like this but I have to protect myself. How do I get over this or is it not possible and I should move on?

You make a choice, either to trust him or not to trust him, it might take some time but it is only done through practice, you practice trust and give it to him until he earns it back himself, or you choose to end the relationship because of the lack of trust. Remember, if there is no trust, there is no relationship.

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Originally Posted by DomDaleNancy49

How do I get over this or is it not possible and I should move on?

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I think you should move on. It's damn near impossible to shake a feeling of distrust and in my opinion, it's better to act on that feeling than to suppress it. In other words, listen to your gut.

I agree with both answers. I need to make a choice and I need to listen to my gut. I know in my head what I should do. I have made so many mistakes and I know once I end the relationship it will affect not just me and him but our son. Thanks.