Salutations,

I come from a family of relatively fair skin, with a lot of light hair and light eyes. My brothers have green and blue eyes, one is blonde, and my mother and father both have vivid eye colour. We come from Estonia, near Scandinavia.

I, however, have almost pitch-black hair, olive skin, and brown eyes - generally very swarthy. I feel like a misfit. I also feel generic. What hurts me most is that my family is very patriotic of our native country, and I just don't feel I look someone from there, and it gets me down. I could be someone anywhere from Madrid to Tehran. I wish I would look like the other people in my family and people, and it makes me kind of depressed every now and then. Someone once even called me a "spic" - a cruel derogatory term for hispanic people...

Does anyone have any advice or thoughts?

Fondly,
Nat.

(PS, I am not adopted)

Your unique, you should be instead of looking at yourself as not belonging. You should be looking at yourself as unique and beautiful. I will guarantee you that there are family members and even other people outside of the family that look at you and admire the way you look, the beautiful olive skin colour and dark hair. You never thought to look at it that way though, have you?

It is all in how you look at the world which will effect your well being and frame of mind.

Yours truly,

Joe

Have you looked in the family history - beyond your parents and your siblings? Doing a genealogical study might help you come to understand that you are just who you are and you are just fine in that. I am 100% German and yet have dark brown hair and light olive complexion. Does not make me a lessor member of my family.

Instead of focusing on who you think you are not, find out how you are and be proud of that.

Fit in where you do fit in-- if not with looks then perhaps demeanor, or talents or some other aspect of self. I come from a family of tall, large, dark eyes and hair, etc. I am the recessive gene of everything: short, blonde, green eyes, left handed, etc. There were lots of mailman jokes about me. Build up enough self confidence about other things and you can celebrate your uniqueness with me. You are you and I am me and we are we together, said the walrus! Until then, adopt the idea that your genetic seeds clearly had to travel very very far to find you and maybe find a way clelebrate that kind of commitment instead? The first girl to come along and find your looks exotic will help too and oh, yes, they are out there Nat!

You're like a raisin in a bowl of oatmeal. Something special!

I wanted to let you know that you are not alone...
Genes work their magic in mysterious ways.
I look totally different than the rest of my family when speaking of hair, eye, and skin color... My sister and brothers have blond hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. I have dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, and my skin... don't know what the completion would be considered, but I tan in the sun like a dream... whereas my siblings burn and peel.
My children have blond hair, blue eyes and fair skin as well...
Even though we have all these differences, we share many of the same facial features and body structures... If my sister were to have brown eyes, brown hair, and darker skin, (or vice versa) we would pass for identical twins. We've even been confused for one another at a distance by our friends.
It's all in the genes...
Be happy with who you are.
It's like Jesushelper(Joe) and Ordinaryguy said YOU ARE UNIQUE AND SPECIAL!
And that alone is something to truly be proud of!!!

Kae