I love my two girls... my oldest 11 and youngest 2, the 11 yr old and I were separated when she was 3 to 7 and now having my 2 yr old I feel this bond that's deep and connected. My 11 yr old not so much, sometimes I think whose kid are you, since my 2 yr was born the oldest says I don't love her as much.. is it that visible.. I feel bad I should love my girls equally. I feel like a bad mom to my 11 yr old, I just don't know how to let her know I love her as much, its different in my heart I feel like a tty person, I feel like I'm destroying my 11 yr old.am I wrong , I try and try to connect with her with no luck. How do I change the way I feel

You go for professional counselling before she is scarred for life - it will help you both.

You are unhappy with the present situation and so is she - you need to find peace for both of you.

Agree with Judy. You need family counseling ASAP. And also it would be good if you spent some quality time with her consistently. Maybe once a week, like every Sunday, you do something just you and her... like go get virgin daquaries and an appetizer at a restaurant and just talk. Also, my mom used to give massages to my half-sister (her step daughter) every night at that age and they'd talk before bed and that with counseling made them really close.