Ask Me Help Desk - 14 years I been married

Hello, well I never thought I would be siting here typing about my marriage but I have 4 children oldest is in military. That I'm proud of and 3 younger ones I'm writng because I have been trying to find out where my life went wrong my husband is a drinker and has done drugs I duno if he still does he says he don't but I threw him out when I found out of his doing drugs I got him a councler he has been very mean in ways it is hard to explain. But the last thing he said to me after dropping are boys off. I felt bad him not seeing them before he left my home he said I cheated on you (see you) and shut the door I was so sad I cryed and still tried to make my marriage. Work I said iforgive you for everything you done to me. But still he lives in a room and I was so upset over that I said I'm filing for a divorce I said I met with them on this date. The only reply I got from him is (y wait)in a text I'm so hurt and sad over his manner to 16 years with me 14 married. Will you please give me some under standing on how to deal with my world crashing around me

I am only in ighschool so I don't really know what to say that will help you but one of my friends parents just had a really bad divorse and I know her mom is going to counsiling to talk to someone about it and she found other people who have gone through it to like she went to those group meeting... I hope you are OK

I hope I helped!

Quote:

Originally Posted by my heart

Hello, well I never thought I would be siting here typing about my marriage but I have 4 children oldest is in military. That im proud of and 3 younger ones im writng because I have been trying to find out where my life went wrong my husband is a drinker and has done drugs I duno if he still does he says he don't but I threw him out when I found out of his doing drugs I got him a councler he has been very mean in ways it is hard to explain. But the last thing he said to me after dropping are boys off. I felt bad him not seeing them before he left my home he said I cheated on you (see you) and shut the door I was so sad I cryed and still tryed to make my marriage. Work I said iforgive you for everything you done to me. But still he lives in a room and I was so upset over that I said im filing for a divorce I said I met with them on this date. The only reply I got from him is (y wait)in a text im so hurt and sad over his manner to 16 years with me 14 married. Will you please give me some under standing on how to deal with my world crashing around me

He sounds like a knee jerk reaction guy - you say to get out, he says he cheated; you say you're thinking of a divorce, he says go ahead. Does he blurt out whatever crosses his brain at the time?

I also am leaning toward him saying whatever he thought it would take to hurt you - cheating apparently is the first thing he thought to say. Is it true? Maybe. Would I necessarily believe him? No. Of course, he either did or he just tried to hurt you, both of them painful for you.

I do see that your World has crashed. Is there a possibility you could hold off on the divorce, try to get yourself together, perhaps through a therapist or clergy person?

Only you know if you can live with his behavior or if you're better off without him.

It's a difficult call to make and I wish you luck.

Unfortunately when a post is answered, right or wrong, it is pulled from the "open" category so people who are regulars here didn't see it.