Ask Me Help Desk - I'm a Cheater

How do you get the person you hurt back? I cheated on my ex boyfriend and now I don't know how to get him to forgive me and take me back?

In the past when he hurt me I found it so easy to forgive him. I feel like it's just not fair. I know it's selfish for me to say but everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect. That's why in the past when he would hurt me by "hanging out with other girls (who knows if he ever cheated, he'd never admit)" or "going clubbing without me knowing," I was able to forgive him. He's just not that way at all, he doesn't see that a relationship should be fair. I gave him more than 100 chances and he can't even give me one chance.

Is it a ego thing that men have? I ask that because when I found the guts to tell him I cheated, all he asked me was, Was that guy built?. Did he have a big?. Was he good? And not only that he said that me cheating on him is like me taking his manhood away.

He's been with a million ladies and I have to say they are very beautiful. Other than the man I cheated on him with, I've only been with him. Do you think that's the reason why he can't forgive me. He always told me that I'm his innocent angel. Maybe because all his past girlfriends or "one night stands" were total sluts.

I hurt him and I realized it. I thought telling him would help our relationship but I guess I was wrong. It hurts to not be forgiven. It takes a lot of heart to tell the one you love that you cheated on them. Most people will never tell because they are too prideful. I humbled myself and told him thinking I would get another chance but I guess it's not possible anymore.

I need advice... I'm confuse...

Honey I am sure you heard this before maybe from friends or family, but if a mate cheats on you and contiues to do so they are not worth having in your life. Yes you made a mistake, everyone makes mistakes in life is how we learn and grow from things we do. Take what you have learned from this and move on with life. I gather you are probley in your teens or very early 20's at most. You don't think so now but in the future the right man for you will come into your life and then you will look back at this and say what did I ever truly see in him. GOOD LUCK, and live life to it's fullest.

I can only guess as to why he asked those questions about the other guy you were with.
He probably asked that to see what the other guy had that he didn't.
What was it about that guy that made you cheat? Why wasn't your ex-boyfriend adequate enough for you to not cheat?
It all stems from self esteem; he thinks that he wasn't good enough(sexually and maybe not sexually) if you had to go out and get with another guy.

Second, you can't compare you forgiving him and him forgiving you. It's comparing apples to oranges.

You made the right choice by telling him. You will learn from this experience, and even though it's confusing and painful now, you will become wiser, stronger, and happier in future relationships.
Wishing you all the best,
Kae

You are right - you made a mistake, and mistakes should be forgiven when the person who committed them takes responsibility, but the forgiveness won't come from him. It will come to you in the form of the ability to move forward and open your life to new possibilities. He sounds very, very immature and though you are surely a lot younger than me, even when I was in college I would expect more maturity and respect from the men in my life than you've described. You may love being with someone more than you love him. There's no crime in that, but it does signal a need to move on.

I did the same thing and he was the sweetest most caring guy ever so I understand but hey if you are already broken up I think you should move on with someone else and not cheat on him. My boyfriend took me back after that but now all we do is fight about it! So I def. think you should stick to being broken up!

I think that he knew he could do whjatever he wanted (cheat, go out, etc) because you never cared.. and now that you cheated he's trying to put the blame on you. Hes not ready for a commitment and hey if I was a cheater dating you itd be perfect! I can have my cake and eat it too right?You've let him be this way. You've allowed it. It was good that you were honest but since he was perobably cheating too, id say you didn't have to tell.
One more thought I also think that although you enabled his behavior in this matter, you are NOT "the" cheater! He is and your fed up with it. You know deep down he's doing more than you, and you have only been with another guy once. Anyone would give up after a while, but that didn't make it okay either.

Keep in mind that the fact that you were so honest in this relationship is GREAT and it will really benefit you in the future! That is such a rare attribute. I just wanted to put that out there, haha!

Are you sure that he didn't cheat? I was with a man that I lost my virginity too, and we broke up. I had a one night stand.. we got back together and I told him what happened. Every night he would call me crying... and cal me a slut. Well low and behold I found out that he was cheating on me our whole relationship. After we broke up we were talking and I asked him if he had ever been unfailthful. You know what he said? "different states don't count as cheating." Yes, you made a mistake... and you are paying for it with guilt. It is time to let go of that guilt. You also need to evaluate if you are getting from this relationship what you need.

Watch the movie 'Closer' with julia roberts and jude law! It will help understand a man's point of view in all this!

Run xes are xes for a reason . He doesn't love u and u don't love him or u wouldn't cheat . U have to have love ,trust,comunication ,honest and respect for each other or u have nothing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by February Heart Break

How do you get the person you hurt back? I cheated on my ex boyfriend and now I don't know how to get him to forgive me and take me back?

In the past when he hurt me I found it so easy to forgive him. I feel like it's just not fair. I know it's selfish for me to say but everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect. That's why in the past when he would hurt me by "hanging out with other girls (who knows if he ever cheated, he'd never admit)" or "going clubbing without me knowing," I was able to forgive him. He's just not that way at all, he doesn't see that a relationship should be fair. I gave him more than 100 chances and he can't even give me one chance.

Is it a ego thing that men have? I ask that because when i found the guts to tell him I cheated, all he asked me was, Was that guy built?...Did he have a big ?....Was he good? and not only that he said that me cheating on him is like me taking his manhood away.

He's been with a million ladies and I have to say they are very beautiful. Other than the man I cheated on him with, I've only been with him. Do you think that's the reason why he can't forgive me. He always told me that I'm his innocent angel. Maybe because all his past girlfriends or "one night stands" were total sluts.

I hurt him and I realized it. I thought telling him would help our relationship but I guess I was wrong. It hurts to not be forgiven. It takes alot of heart to tell the one you love that you cheated on them. Most people will never tell because they are too prideful. I humbled myself and told him thinking I would get another chance but I guess it's not possible anymore.

I need advice...I'm confuse...

I also accidentally cheated but with a man who was absolutely perfect and would never do anything like that to me... I have figured out that the best way is to... ya feel guilty for what you have done because it was a mistake (everyone makes them) but to forgive yourself because without you can have nothing but self pity

Honey child you just need to put that man in a box and set him in the closet in your mind. You are way too young to be involved in all this mess. So throw him away and move on and find somebody you can love and be with through thick and thin and enjoy your life. Forgiveness is always best but he obviously does not value his relationship with you otherwise he'd be more respectful to it and do whatever it takes to grow you guy's relationship.

Learn the difference between values and priorities and go out and find a relationship that you value and that values you and quit being a priority. Good luck and God Bless and Hallelujah you have been told