Can anyone help me?
I hate myself so much for so many different reasons. I say all the wrong things at the wrong times. I’m a disappointment to myself and my family. I’m only 17 and I’ve hated myself since I was 8. I’m unhappy and all my parents seem to be doing is making it worse. They frustrate me and I don’t know how to get it out. I’ve tried sports (I don’t like it). I’ve tried meditation (I’ve only started recently but that doesn’t seem to be working ether. The same for yoga). I’m self-conscious and think I’m ugly and a terrible person. I try and be a better person but I can’t help but feel ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’.
I don’t know what to do. My parents are trying to control me. And to make it worse my mother and father are divorced. So when I say my parents I’m really talking about my mother and step-father. It’s that that makes me even more annoyed. My step-father is controlling my mother who is trying to control me. So he is controlling me. And I don’t want to yell at him or anything because then I’ll get punished. He also has a son (my step-brother) who can do no wrong, while I can only do wrong. My step-brother is the golden boy and anything I do is wrong. Even if I do something right my parents always find something wrong in it. They only once or twice said they were proud of me.

I hate myself and my life and I want to change it but I don’t know how.

Sounds like me through high school except the hating myself part. First off, every brother and sister fight. Also, don't hate yourself ( divorces are never the kids fault remember that ) I never knew my parents when they were married and had a hard time through high school causing trouble and crap like that. Don't let problems distract you. So two things didn't work that doesn't mean anything u have so many more options. It might also help to let what's going on guide u into a career. My father used to fight me physically went things went wrong , and now I'm going to b going to school for law enforcement to stop things like that. What I'm saying is, take what u hate the most like I did and make something good out of it. Hope I helped.

To the poster. You're at a tough age, and your circumstances and the way you feel about them, are even tougher.

Being a teen is hell. I wouldn't do it again if you paid me.

You're a smart kid, your post shows that. You're also 17. You have one more year and then you're legally an adult and can do and go where you please.

Don't let this bring you down. Be the best you can be, then find your own niche in this world. Leave the past behind you and concentrate on the future.

I'm sorry you're feeling so down :(

I hated myself for a long time too so I definitely know how you feel. It doesn't help when family seems to find fault in everything you do! I felt like I was the worst person, wrong in every way. But you know what? These feelings can change.

Your "golden boy" comment is familiar too... the other family member who can do no wrong meanwhile you feel like nothing you do is right. Hang in there.. it isn't real. And it will change.

Do you have anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling? I'm worried that you're suffering from some depression too. (that was the case for me at that age as well) I'm so glad you don't want to hate yourself anymore and want to change... but you might need the help of someone to talk to like a counselor at school or a therapist.


One thing all of us has to learn is that the one person whose opinion matters MOST is our own. Maybe the world wrongly doesn't accept you unconditionally (moms and dads can be conditional and flawed people too) -- but YOU can. You can accept you and work on how you feel about yourself. The funky thing is that the world mirrors how we feel about ourselves BACK to us... so if you feel better about yourself the world will too -- believe it or not.

You can make a choice to see yourself as not bad, not ugly, not awful. One step is to not ask others to validate your goodness but slowly start believing that they can't take who you really are away or give you approval. It has to start on the inside. -- Part of you might want to show your folks how terrible life is for you and how much pain you're in to get back at them (especially if you don't feel like you can talk to them) -- give up revenge.
Challenge your own belief that you're bad.

I bet you a million dollars you're NOT bad - you just need some understanding. Also your folks (your mom esp) love you. Even when they don't know how to go about it. It sucks -- but you're going to have to emotionally distance yourself from their dynamic and not take to heart their criticisms. (this takes a little practise) how they speak about you is not how you need to feel about yourself.

Keep up with the yoga.. and meditation. That can help but it's no quick fix.
Also -- this sounds corny, -but if you let yourself get really involved in one or two things that DO make you happy (if sports isn't good something else you like to do is worth your time) challenge yourself -- if you feel a little whiff of accomplishment in doing something well or doing something you like it can help you feel better about yourself too.

Don't give up

Thank you all for your advice. I have been trying very hard to follow your suggestions (though my parents do make it a bit difficult from time to time- but I guess that's just life). Thank you all again for your help. ^_^

While you may not believe this, you sound like a average teen, most feel like you do, but will not admit it. And sorry if you are 40, if you live at home with mom ( and a step dad even) they control you, that is how it works, their home their rules.