I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years now. We’re not married, we don’t have child and we live in an apartment. We’re both 32yo. At the beginning of our relationship, I used his car about 5 times and after that, he refused to lend it to me because I didn’t have insurance, which I totally understand. I was waiting for him to add my name on insurance so I could drive his car but he didn’t do it in 2 years. 1 year later, he told me he didn’t want me to drive it because it was old and I could get stuck somewhere with it. Again, I agreed. Then, 2 years ago, he bought a new car. I asked him if I could drive it since there was no “danger” anymore and he said yes. I asked him several times when I would be allowed to drive it and he always said “later”. Last spring, he gave me a key of his car and he said to me you can drive it later after winter. I replied “You give me the $?&$ key when I CAN drive your car”. So he took it back and he says that because I didn’t seem happy when he gave me the key, he doesn’t want me to drive his car. I am really sick of this situation. I feel like he is always pushing the moment I can drive his car.
Some people will tell me to buy one, but we really don’t need two cars since we go to work by metro. We only need it on week nights and week-ends. Sometimes, he stays late at work and I have to go at the grocery store by walk even if there is a car in the driveway. If I want to visit my mom who lives at 3-hours drive from me, I have to rent a car even if my boyfriend doesn’t need his car.
I offered him to buy the car half-half with him, he refused. He insists that I pay half the gas and half of the parking which I think is not fair but I pay anyway since it’s not a big amount.
I am a good driver and people are not afraid to be passenger when I drive. I’ve never had accident either.
I feel something is wrong with this.
What should I do?

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Originally Posted by Daile

What should I do?

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You ought to be proactive instead of expecting your boyfriend to allow you to share his vehicle. Buy your own car, rent one (I read you do this already) or get Zipcar.

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Originally Posted by Daile

I offered him to buy the car half-half with him, he refused.

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That's his right. He doesn't want to share the car with you. Personally I agree with him. Sharing vehicles can be annoying.

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Originally Posted by Daile

He insists that I pay half the gas and half of the parking which I think is not fair but I pay anyway since it’s not a big amount.

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No, that is fair; he's paying the other half.

Based on what you told us, your boyfriend's problem is that he is spineless. He doesn't want to share his car with you but, for some reason, he won't directly tell you that. It his right to keep his possession for his use only; being in a relationship does not negate that.

You do need two cars, then the conflict is over. Don't even give him a key though.