I was with my partner for 14 years we had 2 kids, I've always known I was bisexual and he did too but never acted on it until few months ago when I met the most amazing girl. We are both 30, partner said he couldn't handle me being emotionally attached to her so we broke up. Still live together but not intimate. I meet up with her once a week and we get on great. Now the biggest problem of my life is I don't want to lose him.. or her! He is willing to share me as he loves me so much but I don't know how she will react :( I'd like to think she would be OK considering I left a 14 year relationship for her but I also think it would be a bit of a kick in the teeth for her and she will finish what we have. I'm so confused I don't know what to do. Few weeks ago I was convinced I was a lesbian now I'm not so sure as I have feelings for him still and I'm scared :(

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Originally Posted by lore alive

I was with my partner for 14 years we had 2 kids, I've always known I was bisexual and he did too but never acted on it until few months ago when I met the most amazing girl. We are both 30, partner said he couldn't handle me being emotionally attached to her so we broke up. Still live together but not intimate. I meet up with her once a week and we get on great. Now the biggest problem of my life is I don't want to lose him..or her! He is willing to share me as he loves me so much but I don't know how she will react :( I'd like to think she would be ok considering I left a 14 year relationship for her but I also think it would be a bit of a kick in the teeth for her and she will finish what we have. I'm so confused I don't know what to do. Few weeks ago I was convinced I was a lesbian now I'm not so sure as I have feelings for him still and I'm scared :(

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I'm sure they WON'T accept it...

This is one of those times you have to decide because in life you rarely get to have it both ways.

You don't get to have it both ways... unless you find a community of open/polyamorous people who don't mind letting their partners explore more than one personal intimate, loving relationship at a time.

You may have intimacy or commitment issues that you need to work out in counseling. Your boyfriend of 14 years is absolutely right in saying "I don't want to share, I don't want you to be emotionally involved with someone else while you're with me" that's his prerogative. Sadly, he probably is holding on to the idea that you'll grow out of this and come back to him. He might agree to you having experiences because he's afraid to lose you.

Move out, part ways with your boyfriend and move on with your life (it will be kinder for him if you were just not on the scene!) -- find like minded poly people or explore your relationships -- OR, say goodbye to your girl and commit yourself to the guy who has loved you for 14 years. My two cents? 14 years is nothing to sneeze at. You could lose your girlfriend in 6 months and be left with nothing for your confusion.

Can't have your cake and eat it too. Being bisexual doesn't mean you're immune from the rules of relationship or human decency.

Being bi sexual is not a excuse for having poor or lower moral values.

If you were not bi, would it be OK to be having an affair with another man ? No of course, so why is it suppose to be just because they are of another sex.

You have to decide what you want and be true to just one. Or find a partner that will share and you will have to be OK if they have other partners too