I work with this guy and I'm pretty sure he is straight, he mentioned once that he had a girlfriend but that was as far as that conversation went. I'm not sure if he actually had a girlfriend or was trying to hide his sexuality? He is really attractive, the nicest person I have ever met (and by this I mean nice to me, not others) and he constantly playfully bumps into me as we walk past each other. Most guys I know can tell I'm gay and try to avoid me, this guys super nice and I actually love him. But I don't know what to do?

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Originally Posted by Apples112

I work with this guy and I'm pretty sure he is straight, he mentioned once that he had a girlfriend but that was as far as that conversation went. I'm not sure if he actually had a girlfriend or was trying to hide his sexuality? He is really attractive, the nicest person I have ever met (and by this I mean nice to me, not others) and he constantly playfully bumps into me as we walk past each other. Most guys I know can tell I'm gay and try to avoid me, this guys super nice and I actually love him. But I dont know what to do?

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Talk to him, learn enough about him to know if he's gay or straight.

How can you love someone you barely know?

How can you love someone you barely know?[/QUOTE]
I know him but I can't just bring that up because If he is straight me asking him out could ruin what we have. Like I said I don't have many guy friends

What do you have, your hopeful dream ? A few cheap thrills as you bump into him. ( which would be considered sexual harassment if it is being done for sexual reasons.

Next if he has a girlfriend ( ask him about her) and he is straight, having desires and thinking something may happen would be like a girl at work, thinking that of you.

Neither helpful just judgemental

And I don't need the sexual harassment talk he bumps into me, not sexually, whether he means it that way or not, I honestly wouldn't care if he groped me as he walked past

I hate to say this.. but if he's telling you he has a girlfriend, - it's best for you to respect that and find someone who can open up to you and love you/connect with you sexually - it's not him! Even if he's lying the message is, "I'm with someone, I'm not interested in you" (I presume he knows YOU'RE gay quite clearly.) -- if he's gay, he's not interested in you or he would have shown you his interest more clearly.

Don't waste your heart pining after someone who doesn't share your feelings no matter straight, gay or bi. As someone else said, it would be the same if a girl got a crush on you.
Respect him as a friend and find someone to love you for you --
Best of luck.

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Originally Posted by Apples112

And I don't need the sexual harassment talk he bumps into me, not sexually, whether he means it that way or not, I honestly wouldn't care if he groped me as he walked past

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If a woman wrote this about a man she'd certainly get some unkind comments - here we have an OP who is in love with someone he barely knows, someone who has stated he has a girlfriend, some he hopes will grope him in the workplace.

Have to wonder -

So you are gay, we do not care, we are giving you advice on how life really works, grow up.

You are another sexual orientation to this person, so yes if he is doing it for a sexual reason, it can be harassment at the work place, this is a very very serious issue and looked that way by many businesses.

You appear to be too immature or too scared of being gay and the opinions of others to tell the difference between real help and insults. And even this is not a insult, it is perhaps a wake up call for you to start being realistic in life.

He has a girlfriend, so even if he is bi, he is off limits since that is cheating.

I will have to assume you are very young and not used to actual dating and real life issues.

Unless you come out and are open about your sexual standing, you will not ever know who you can date or not.

So you are gay, we do not care, we are giving you advice on how life really works, grow up.

You are another sexual orientation to this person, so yes if he is doing it for a sexual reason, it can be harassment at the work place, this is a very very serious issue and looked that way by many businesses.

You appear to be too immature or too scared of being gay and the opinions of others to tell the difference between real help and insults. And even this is not a insult, it is perhaps a wake up call for you to start being realistic in life.

He has a girlfriend, so even if he is bi, he is off limits since that is cheating.

It's not sexual harassment unless I say hey this guy touched me in the arm as he walked past, I work in the hospitality industry, although I might not know him as much as anyone else in there, that's pretty much how life goes in a kitchen, you think it's bad that he does that or punches me as he walks past in a joking way then you are the real one who has to grow up, I'm no ing nerd in not going to go whinge to my boss because someone poked me and I never said there were insults involved, everyone else has been basically helpful except for you even if they didn't get what exactly I was asking them

If you find someone who is gay or bi or who really likes you -- then you can find a willing groper (hopefully not in the workplace)

It's not this guy, though. He may bump into you by accident or pop you on the arm, but he's probably not sexually harassing you and is sending out plenty of signals to you that says "I'm not interested in you as a romantic partner" --- all his contact with you sounds normal and non-sexual. You want it to be otherwise -- and it won't be.

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Originally Posted by Apples112

So you are gay, we do not care, we are giving you advice on how life really works, grow up.

You are another sexual orientation to this person, so yes if he is doing it for a sexual reason, it can be harrassment at the work place, this is a very very serious issue and looked that way by many businesses.

You appear to be too immature or too scared of being gay and the opinions of others to tell the difference between real help and insults. And even this is not a insult, it is perhaps a wake up call for you to start being realistic in life.

He has a girlfriend, so even if he is bi, he is off limits since that is cheating.

It's not sexual harassment unless I say hey this guy touched me in the arm as he walked past, I work in the hospitality industry, although I might not know him as much as anyone else in there, that's pretty much how life goes in a kitchen, you think it's bad that he does that or punches me as he walks past in a joking way then you are the real one who has to grow up, I'm no ing nerd in not going to go whinge to my boss cos someone poked me and I never said there were insults involved, everyone else has been basically helpful except for you even if they didn't get what exactly I was asking them

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Please check how the "quote" feature works I read this 3 times before I realized you aren't talking to yourself.

No one is asking you to go "whinge" to your boss - you are in love with someone who is pretty much a stranger to you, hoping he'll grope you at work.

That's sad. You are confused about sexual harassment but it's not even worth the explanation.

What exactly does the hospitality industry involve?

Whisper will thank you for actually seeing it from my point I view, I don't exactly agree with you but that's just probably just because I don't want too

He's not a stranger and he never has nor would he ever grope me I was proving a point that if I find him attractive why would I care if he brushed past me in a sexual way? It makes my day when he flirts with me and obviously he enjoys it, there's nothing wrong with flirting even if there is teaching, and to be honest some guy could break into my house right now bash me close to dead then rape me, nothing could be done unless I press charges, same thing here, it's not sexual harassment because I don't feel harassed when it happens

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Originally Posted by Apples112

Whisper will thank you for actually seeing it from my point I view, I don't exactly agree with you but that's just probably just because I don't want too

He's not a stranger and he never has nor would he ever grope me I was proving a point that if I find him attractive why would I care if he brushed past me in a sexual way? It makes my day when he flirts with me and obviously he enjoys it, there's nothing wrong with flirting even if there is teaching, and to be honest some guy could break into my house right now bash me close to dead then rape me, nothing could be done unless I press charges, same thing here, it's not sexual harassment because I don't feel harassed when it happens

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Yeah I'm not worried about you getting sexually harassed... I'm worried more about you losing your head and hoping for more with this guy than he's capable of giving you. Falling for him and looking forward to those (probably innocent) interactions and getting infatuated can turn sad in a heart beat when life starts to pass you by and you miss out on all the wonderful guys who COULD be your boyfriend.

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Originally Posted by WisperWill70

Yeah I'm not worried about you getting sexually harassed... I'm worried more about you losing your head and hoping for more with this guy than he's capable of giving you. Falling for him and looking forward to those (probably innocent) interactions and getting infatuated can turn sad in a heart beat when life starts to pass you by and you miss out on all the wonderful guys who COULD be your boyfriend.

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This is a really good post - a greenie and applause.

I don't need to worry about that, I was more thinking if I should say something on my last day (owners aren't very friendly there I'm planning to leave Sunday night) I know he works that night and I can't see myself catching up with home for any other reason so maybe was thinking just leave a letter

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Originally Posted by Apples112

I don't need to worry about that, I was more thinking if I should say something on my last day (owners aren't very friendly there I'm planning to leave Sunday night) I know he works that night and I can't see myself catching up with home for any other reason so maybe was thinking just leave a letter

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Saying what?