I am having lots of troubles at home. I need advice.
Okay, I am going to try and make this as clear as I can. My name is Cody. I live in Southern California. I live with my grandparents. I am going into my senior year and I am going to be eighteen this August. So now I am going to give my back story..
Well, I use to live with my dad and step mom. We were a poor family, we only barely sustained cause both my parents worked a lot and because my grandparents, whom I am living with right now, were hanging money in our face, helping us just enough. As I got older, my step mom became more and more abusive, starting physical fights, yelling, threating to cut me, and constantly grounding me for one mistake.I remember, I was fifteen and only for three weeks in that year was I not grounded for something. I eventually turned to drugs freshmen year, to try and escape everything. Well, several months later, I knew I had to get away from it all, so I lied to my parents and said I wanted to switch schools because I wasn't making friends and taking the public bus to and from Servite was way too long. So after much discussion and pain staking arguments I went to Mater Dei. Well, I wasn't happy there either cause I was still depress at home, started to cut and I couldn't squeeze myself into some type of clique. Therefore, I either hanged with three people I knew at lunch from my eighth grade year or I would stay in the library doing pretend homeowor or eat lunch in the bathroom.Well, it was right after halloween I met this girl online at a website called kupika. Anyway, to keep her privacy safe I am going to call this girl Jane. Jane lives in Phoenix, Arizona. I started texting her more and more and falling for this incredible, sensative, creative, funny, and cute looking girl. With Jane I have never felt more happy nor confident in myself for any girl I would date in the past would either just want me for sex or cheat on me or use to get back at their ex boyfriends. Anyway, I would spend hours on the phone with this girl, but something didn't seem right. She was telling me how she had gotten raped and pregnant so many times, and her family hated her beyond belief and just so many things going on, I was now not only depress at home, at school, but now in my own imgination and now in my own love I am drown in a sea of not knowing what to do. So I go to my school counselor to get help, all in all she didn't help all that much but did say this girl is most likely lying to me and cheating, well blinded by love I didn't listen. One day, when my parents were fighting because my step mom had just cheated I kind of did something wrong and got grounded. Well, since my only way to talk to Jane was gone, and because I have been told she might be cheating I lost my mind. I started punching holes in walls, breaking mirrors and self harmng myself, so to cool off my step mom put me in a youth shelter for two weeks. Well to hurry and wrap this story, I finally found out most of the stuff Jane was saying was a lie, and that she was just a confused little girl who had a phone and too many out of state friends,and because I could relate to her I forgave her and still loved the girl who I really knew.
Well now that I talked about this girl who will come up very shortly to what I am dealing with now, I am going to talk about why I am now living with my grandparents. Well, like I said I lived with my step mom and dad. My mom gave me up when I was six cause she didn't want to deal wth me, so my dad took me. He raised me by himself for three years until Theresa came in. Well, theresa was a nineteen year old, who already had a kid. I lost respect for her very fast when I found out she lied to me about her age at disneyland. I was eight at the time. Well, a year later she got pregnant by my dad, and during the pregnancy at age nine, I had to go to counseling cause I told my step mom I was going to kill her and my half sister when she is a sleep. That right there just kind of tells you about my jealousy, and anger issues. To contine, I was abused by my step mom. Because she had loose parents who didn't care as much she put restrictions on me like no other. Bed by 7:00 in sixth grade up intil high school. Groundation for any little thing I did. No soda even though her daughter could. And my step mom was a very controlling and angery little person. I remember in fifth grade, I needed a paper signed for school and it accidentally slipped out of my hands and fell on her. Well, she got up, held me under my arm pits and pushed me through our window in our living room, I need stitches and was hospitalize for a day and a half. I had to lie to the doctors and tell them I fell or else I would get in trouble and if theresa went to jail my dad would never forgive me. But things really got worse when I started to rebel and finally speak up to my outside family. It was just this past summer when I spoke out, by the way at this time Jane is grounded for what she did. I called my grandma I am living with now and told her how we barely have food, my step mom is constatnly cheating, staying out until seven in the morning, my dad yelling at me and telling me to watch my symbolings cause he doesn't want to deal with it and how my dad hasn't done anything about getting his linces for his medical profession. Well, after I spilled my guts, I had to leave my mom's mom house pack my bags as fast as possible cause I had an gut feeling something won't be right. I got home, packed my bags and as soon as I went downstairs my dad said he had talked to grandma and that he is disappointed... apprently she hadn't told him everythng that I had told her. Well, I kind of opened my mouth and said," well i told her everything," and that's when a huge physical fight broke out between me and my father, and I will say this isn't the first time me and him have had physical fight. None the less, this one was the worst he immediately put his hands around my neck andstarted cking me, well thank to god I have taken multile fighting style for the past two years I quickly got him into a gulliotine choke and got to the point of him passing out. Well, when I finally let go, he got up gave me two swift punches to my ribs then kicked me in my sternum and yes he can do that because is six foot one and mainly legs and I was at the time barely five foot ten and my length is evenly spread through out my body. So this was mid July, I immedialtely left the house, and went to the park to spend two nights there contemplation on where to go, I finally walked thirty five miles to my friends house where he took me in for the summer. At this time, I was depress and emotionally hurting so I started to drink and smoke. Long story short, I met up with my grandparents they took me in and brought me to the school I went to for my junior year.
Okay, now time for my junior year. During this time, I am living with my grandparents and I go to a small school in orange. And it was this time I started talking to Jane a lot more, and of course my feelings grew heavingly and to make sure the past doesn't happen again I ask her parents for their permission and they said yes. Well everything is good from late October until mid December, when I have been trying to tell my grandparents for months, along with my dad, even though he shouldn't have had a say anymore, that I want to go see Jane and her parents already said yes. Well long story short, I bugged my grandma for 12 hrs straight to get my passport because she hid it from me. Well in the end, I called while I was seeing her and my grandparents told me when I get back I better back my bags because I am out of the house, so I asked Janes' parents that if need be could I live with them. They said of course, so I go back home and when I get their I pack everything, and to this day I still have everything packed, and then both of my grandparents have a long talk with me explaining the new rules of the house and how I lost complete trust because of what I did. So since then, me and my grandparents haven't been getting along. Its been constant bickering and nick picking at the way I dress, by the way I dress really normal, how I sleep in because maybe I am depress and rather not go for walks, and I don't sleep at night, I get three hours of sleep a night, most night because I am paranoid and I have feelings that sometimes I have the hardest time peeling myself awake from a dream. I am just tired of the constant bickering and yelling, so I stay in my clean room most of the time, and they still yell at me for that. I just want to be on my own when I turn eighteen, I eventually got to do it sometime, right?
Well time for my final paragraph, lawl. So I know, this looks like an easy fix, just make up with my grandparents for my final high school year and sorry you had such a horrible time but you'll be fine. Well, here is my problem, my girlfriend Jane, is living on nothing. Her family barely makes fifteen dollars a week from illegal yard sales, dumpster diving, and begging for money. They even had to dip into her money for college, she had three thousand, now she has eighty five left for college. Also, her parents constantly fight, yell, scream, blame the kids, break dishes and other furniture, and not to mention they are both on probation, no jobs and anytime now they will be going to jail, her real dad is on dialysis and no of her outside family can take her, or her younger step brother cause they are either too old, live too far away or have no money themselves. But wait, what happened to your amazing plan Cody? Well, when I went to see Jane, two hormonal and "in love" teenagers are left together, well atleat we used protection. Well, her parents eventually found out, her mom had always said if she did stuff, she would be diappointed but not treat her different, its been two months now, and her mom and step dad act as if she is a stranger and now they beyond dislike me and will no longer let me live there or even stay for a week or two. So now, since then its driving me and Jane to bits, and she is beyond stressing cause of what her near future will be and we just can't let go of each other.
So now that, I think enough description is in XD, I need answers to a few questions. What am I suppose to do in this type of situation,I just can't leave my girlfriend whom I have given my every effort to. Also I have been looking into where I can find a job fast and cheap apartments and I am ready to live off ramen for a year or more, use to do years ago. So I need help, on how to convinve her parents that I isn't the devil himself, I am willing to help them cause god knows they need it, Also, if they won't be convinced, what should I do? I have a little over a thousand dollars, and I am willingly to move over there, to find a small apartment, finish my senior year and then that way the following year I can get instate tutuion to ASU. And I have asked my grandparents if Jane, can come here and they said no,"we barely want you here, and can harldy stand you, so why we want another one? and plus she is kinda young" well by the way I am not sure if I mentioned this but she is turning sixteen. So please help me as soon as possible, and furthermore, she is asking relatives in san fran, phoenix, and in Ohio but so far no one can do anything, and that leds me to another question, do I follow her if she moves or do I say I have to stay here end a very emotional and deep rooted long distant releationship. I am just a very confused seventeen year old boy... P.s. none of the schools, I metioned did anthing wrong nor am I advertising them, so please don't call cops on them, I don't know first time I am on one of these sites and plus anything that has happened in my past with my family and step mom, please leave in the past and don't be like calling cops, cause I don't want more stress added into my life and I have talked to theresa lately and we are on better turns but she is living in a house with ten people right now so she can't take me in. Thank you so much for anyone that can give anytype of help and I will be on here and checking answers and respionding quite often thank you and lots of heart CJ
P.S. I just had a huge argument with my grandparents to where they basically asked me to leave cause I am not normal. For example I am deathly afraid at night to where I can't sleep and all I do half the time is hysterically cry, and also the fsct I don't eat enough, I don't have a job and that I argue about evrything. Well here is the truth, during the school year I barely got four hrs a sleep a night, and the summer is my time to rest up and finally be comfortable and I sleep better during the day cause I feel safer but apperntly that is stupid and strange according to them and I either need to change that or get the hell out of their house, their words exactly. Also I have sent in over three hundred applications online cause that's what people tell me all the time and I have gotten nothing, then grandparents say go on craig list and say you will do something and I have looked at that possibility and have emailed people who are doing the same thing and my responses I have gotten were"be careful, some people will take you in then molest you,almost happened to me once, or no i havent gotten anything yet." I have also entered my short stories and poetry into contest and submit them into writing centers and haven't gotten anything back. So it is not like I am not doing anything. Also with me not eating, I do eat just not as much anymore, maybe its because I am depress, and I have been diagnois by my ex counselor with what he called the worst depression, I forgot what he called it. Also me eating less food can be caused by the fact I isn't growing as much anymore, and then me arguing about verything has to do with me just having a rebuttle to their statements and they think I am just arguing constantly. How are you suppose to have a discussion if the other side can't have rebuttles. Please help me once again, I have no answers to my problems.
