Ask Me Help Desk - Sex drive clash... a resolve?

Sex drive clash... a resolve?

Ive read a lot on the issue of couples having different sex drives but I haven't seen anyone ask this... My partner has a lower sex drive then me but I except we are all different and I would never expect anyone to have sex when then didn't want to. There is something dark, uncaring and pervy about it. However, sex isn't the only way to release... my partner knows I'm more interested than She is so why doesn't she ever think to stick a hand down there or something! Is it wrong to expect this?

You are in a relationship which presumably has other differences - the only way to know is to ask HER why she doesn't think to "stick a hand down there or something."

There is no right and there is no wrong IF both people are consenting adults.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You are in a relationship which presumably has other differences - the only way to know is to ask HER why she doesn't think to "stick a hand down there or something."

There is no right and there is no wrong IF both people are consenting adults.

Were both 23 been together for 7years and consenting. What differences are you presuming? I appreciate I have been vague. She hasn't got a low drive because of anything. That's just her. I am wondering if having a low sex drive makes it fine ti ignore your partners. You don't have to engage in sex to make your partner.

You took my comments WAY too personally - I think every relationship has areas of conflict, however large or small. Money is often one; sex is often one; if you have children that can be another. If you have no disagreements or differences other than sex you are in the minority.

I'm not presuming anything about YOUR relationship.

You asked what's right and wrong sexually in a relationship - I said there is no right or wrong with consenting adults.

Does a low sex drive make it "fine" to ignore your partner? Not if it's not fine with your partner. I don't know what "You don't have to engage in sex to make your partner" means - did you leave out a word or two?

A Physician has said her low sex drive is "just her"? What do you consider a "low sex drive" to be?

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrb89

Ive read alot on the issue of couples having different
sex drives but i havent seen anyone ask this...
My partner has a lower sex drive then me but i except we are all different and i would never expect anyone to have sex when then didnt want to. There is something dark, uncaring and pervy about it. However, sex isnt the only way to release...my partner knows I'm more interested than She is so why dosnt she ever think to stick a hand down there or something! Is it wrong to expect this?

Why should she service you? Service yourself if you need release. Honestly It is called masturbation.

She doesn't think of this because she isn't in the mood. She isn't turned on and telling her, "stick your hand down there..." isn't going to help much. She isn't your only object of sexual release and she is going to start to think that is true if you continue like that.

I have had relationships where the sex was infrequent at best. I got porn and pounded my pud. Just grab your and double click. Nothing wrong with that. It is a matter of finding ways to deal with it.

I find the view you posted so incredibly selfish and misogynistic. Are the only bright light in this relationship and she is there to garner your every release? As an exercise, imagine your best friend told you what you posted. What would you say to him?

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrb89

She is so why dosnt she ever think to stick a hand down there or something! Is it wrong to expect this?

Well, if she's never done it before, then she probably won't start now. So, I wouldn't expect anything.

There's no resolution to this problem other than to find a new girlfriend. After seven years, not much is going to change. Sorry dude.

A mis-matched libido is unfixable for long-term and, in my opinion, it should not be compromised in any relationship.

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Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

I find the view you posted so incredibly selfish and misogynistic. Are the only bright light in this relationship and she is there to garner your every release? As an exercise, imagine your best friend told you what you posted. What would you say to him?

Please explain how wanting sexual release from his girlfriend of seven years is equivalent to hatred for women.

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Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

Quote:

Originally Posted by ME

I find the view you posted so incredibly selfish and misogynistic. Are the only bright light in this relationship and she is there to garner your every release? As an exercise, imagine your best friend told you what you posted. What would you say to him?

Please explain how wanting sexual release from his girlfriend of seven years is equivalent to hatred for women.

Okay.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HIM

However, sex isnt the only way to release...my partner knows I'm more interested than She is so why dosnt she ever think to stick a hand down there or something! Is it wrong to expect this?

The desire for sexual release isn't wrong at all. The expectation that because she knows I'm more interested than she is that she should stick a hand down there or something is.

What that says to me is that because he has a higher libido and desires her so much that she should service him whenever he gets an erection. If she isn't in the mood just a hand job will do. The thought, as I precieve it, behind that comment is that his gratification should always on her mind. That is degrading. In my opinion.

I believe I read this differently than you.