This morning I woke up and finally came to realize that I really want to die. Because its to hard to live anymore. I am 21 years of age. And I've been raped, beat, cheated on. I had children, really young, had no support from so called friends and family. Had to give them up for adoption, now I am completely alone. I tried relationships but it never works because I'm a god damn psycho, nuts, and "ing insane" and full of drama. Its not my fault that my pass is so ed up. I was just a baby. I had no say or place in my families life. Even though I tried so hard. I still got the scars to prove it. I pray everyday, and night that this so called Jesus will take me into his arms and give me the love that I should have been given. I am always a good person to people but, for some odd reason, they all seem to hate me anyway. I am 21 years old, and I am just as tired as someone in the late 70. I've just had enough...

Taking your life is not the answer. You're still young sweetheart, you still have a lifetime ahead of you. Sometimes it takes a long time to find your special someone, and it takes a lifetime to realize who your true friends are.

Every one of us has hope, sometimes trying to find it leaves us lost and confused. I spent my entire childhood alone, scrutinized, bullied, beaten and forgotten. It's sad when you show up at school with black eyes, and bruises and not one person shows care or concern. I had hope though, I found it, deep inside. There was always a voice telling me to give up, but hope was telling me to try it one more time. You need to find this hope, something inside you, something telling you to keep going and keep fighting. You only have one life, and life is worth fighting for.


I know my childhood is probably nothing in comparison to yours, but there's always a silver lining, things do get better.

What is your question.

Are you looking for help, guidance and support, suggestions, encouragement?

You know suicide is not the answer; you are still here.

What else has contributed to the situation you find yourself in now, for example, drugs/alcohol, unemployment, physical disability?

How do you support yourself, or are you on a pension of some sort, or other assistance?

What have you done to try to improve your life along the way- counselling, medical assistance, maybe a psychiatric examination? How do you know, if you haven't already had a course of some sort of treatment.

Many, many people have really crappy childhoods, but many of us fight our way back, and go on to live better, and non-bitter lives.

Why do you seem so stuck in the past, and not forging your own future.

You may blame your past all you want, sorry life sucks some times.
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It is the choice we make tomorrow, each day we can wake up and make new and better choices we are not trapped into what we were.

So change, improve, does not take away the past but it allows you to make a new future

A lot of people are beaten up - what do you need to do to feel less depressed? A therapist? Depression medication?

Stay Alive! You are just going through a rough patch. I promise it will get better.

Your title question is why are you still alive? Because nature designed us to keep breathing. We can't hold our breaths and die. We also get thirsty (second) and hungry (third) although some people manage to starve themselves to death.
Killing yourself isn't easy when it's love you really want. Being tough, psycho, nuts, drama queen, and all is a front, a cover up for that need for love that you never got. The trouble is, you need to be loved as a child and you are not a child anymore. So you aren't going to get it very easily. You have to find it in friends or animals or possibly orphans or abused children, people or creatures who crave the same love you never got. They are out there.

You wouldn't have come here if you didn't want some argument against dying.

Nothing stays the same. Remember that the night is darkest just before the dawn.