This was also posted in the dating category because I think people over there can help too.

I sent a woman a text a few days ago telling her I have a crush on her. The text was more detailed than just that but that was the main idea of the text. She responded 2 days later and this was her response "Just so you know..I'm not ignoring you. I just haven't figured out how i'm going to respond yet lol".

Here's where it gets interesting.

She's also had a crush on ME for quite some time now, and I've known about it because a good friend of hers told me. Her friend told me she wasn't going to talk to me about it because she felt she was "too old for me". To clarify, the age difference between us is 12 years. At the time, she was right. I've had a small crush on her for some time too but I didn't pursue it because I was intimidated by the age difference and if she did ask me out a while back I might have said no because of that. I was also self conscious about what my family and friends would say about it behind my back. My little crush on her however, grew over the last few months. It's come to the point where the age difference doesn't bother me anymore and I don't care what my family and friends would say about it behind my back. I've talked to a few other people about it and they said I should pursue it. So, that's basically what I did. I'm a shy guy (but not ball less) so I wanted to talk to her in person but also in private about it but whenever I see her she's surrounded by people so that explains why I sent her a text instead.

So, given the information above, what do you think her response in the first paragraph means? Could it mean she's filled with joy and can't think of a proper response or could it mean she's lost interest in me and is trying to find a nice way to break it to me? I'm not too sure but my curiousity is killing me so that's why I'm asking you people. A female response to this would be greatly appreciated but all responses are welcome

I removed your same questions in Dating. The same people/experts read both boards. One post is good enough.

If it took her two days to answer, I'm thinking she's trying to figure out how to let you down easy, especially since you work in the same building. If she IS interested, why can't she say so in a text? Is she worried about coworkers' opinions in the future as a relationship develops? Is there any company policy about this?

I'm with WG on this one.

It sounds like she texted you because she does like you, but she's no longer interested in you romantically, and doesn't know what to say to let you down, without losing your friendship, or hurting you.

If she were interested, she'd have replied right away, and told you that she's interested. She's just being nice at this point, to spare your feelings.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I removed your same questions in Dating. The same people/experts read both boards. One post is good enough.

If it took her two days to answer, I'm thinking she's trying to figure out how to let you down easy, especially since you work in the same building. If she IS interested, why can't she say so in a text? Is she worried about coworkers' opinions in the future as a relationship develops? Is there any company policy about this?

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I should've clarified, I work at a casino and she's a regular customer but also works in the building next door.

I guess I'm confused because like you said, what would be so hard about telling me she's interested but on the other hand, how do you have a crush on someone for months than all of a sudden lose interest?

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Originally Posted by Mikey-boy

I should've clarified, I work at a casino and she's a regular customer but also works in the building next door.

I guess i'm confused because like you said, what would be so hard about telling me she's interested but on the other hand, how do you have a crush on someone for months than all of a sudden lose interest?

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Losing interest isn't hard. It doesn't sound like you two know each other that well. Casual acquaintances?

As a women, I can say that if I'm crushing on someone, that doesn't crush back, I move on. Or did when I was single. Not anymore.

You two didn't have a relationship. It's not at all surprising that she lost interest when you didn't immediately reciprocate her feelings.

One question. How old are you? How old is she?

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Originally Posted by Alty

I'm with WG on this one.

It sounds like she texted you because she does like you, but she's no longer interested in you romantically, and doesn't know what to say to let you down, without losing your friendship, or hurting you.

If she were interested, she'd have replied right away, and told you that she's interested. She's just being nice at this point, to spare your feelings.

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Is there a way I can respond back to her and let her know that we can still be friends if her answer is no?

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Originally Posted by Mikey-boy

Is there a way I can respond back to her and let her know that we can still be friends if her answer is no?

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Of course.

Just write back "Thank you for responding to my text. I just want you to know that no matter what you feel, I would like to be friends with you. If you don't want to try dating me, that's fine. I understand. I don't want our friendship to change just because I shared my feelings with you. So, if you're going to let me down, feel free to do so. It won't change our friendship, at least not on my end".

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Originally Posted by Alty

Losing interest isn't hard. It doesn't sound like you two know each other that well. Casual acquaintances?

As a women, I can say that if I'm crushing on someone, that doesn't crush back, I move on. Or did when I was single. Not anymore.

You two didn't have a relationship. It's not at all surprising that she lost interest when you didn't immediately reciprocate her feelings.

One question. How old are you? How old is she?

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I'm 29 and she's 41, but she still flirts from time to time and I explained to her in the text why I didn't confront her sooner and I apologized about it.

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Originally Posted by Mikey-boy

I guess i'm confused because like you said, what would be so hard about telling me she's interested but on the other hand, how do you have a crush on someone for months than all of a sudden lose interest?

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Just because someone has a crush doesn't mean he or she should or will act on it. Sometimes it's nicer just to imagine what could have been. With a twelve-year age difference and a rather ephemeral connection with you, she may want to keep you in her fantasy world and not have to deal with your reality.

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Originally Posted by Mikey-boy

Is there a way I can respond back to her and let her know that we can still be friends if her answer is no?

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What if she doesn't answer either yes or no? She may be hoping enough time will pass that you will forget you texted her. Are you friends now? Not really. She may want to keep the status quo--she's a customer and flirts with one of the employees. (Flirting isn't friendship.)

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Originally Posted by Mikey-boy

i'm 29 and she's 41, but she still flirts from time to time and I explained to her in the text why I didn't confront her sooner and I apologized about it.

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I'm 41. I can say that at 41, if I were single, it would be a bit scary to date a 29 year old. Having said that, it depends on the two people.

Thing is, from her text, I'd say she's not interested.

But, none of us really know what's going on in her mind, other than her.

So why not be upfront? Text her back, or, better yet, call her. Tell her that you don't want to play games, or guess what she's saying. Tell her you're really interested, and you thought she was too. Tell her that you'd like to have at least one date, and see where it goes. Remind her that the worst that can happen is that you both realize that it was a mistake. But, giving it a try isn't such a big step.

Either way, tell her that no matter what she decides, you like her, would like to get to know her better, but if she decides not to give you a chance romantically, you don't want to lose her friendship, because you value her friendship a lot.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What if she doesn't answer either yes or no? She may be hoping enough time will pass that you will forget you texted her. Are you friends now? Not really. She may want to keep the status quo--she's a customer and flirts with one of the employees. (Flirting isn't friendship.)

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We are friends, We go out drinking once in a while (not just me and her, but a group of us) and we talk to each other every time she's in there. She also sends me texts on my day off letting me know she's there. I should've included this detail in my first post but forgot

Thanks for the responses guys, I'm just going to do what alty told me to do and tell her no matter what her response is it won't change our friendship. I'll keep you updated on what her response is.

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Originally Posted by Mikey-boy

Thanks for the responses guys, i'm just going to do what alty told me to do and tell her no matter what her response is it won't change our friendship. I'll keep you updated on what her response is.

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Sounds like a good idea. I just want to add. Above all, be honest with her, and be yourself. No good can come of being someone you're not.

I gave you advice based on what you wrote, but you can never write feelings on paper, and you do know her, and yourself, better than we do from just one post.

Follow your heart, and above all, be honest with her, and yourself. If you do that , you'll find your way. :)