Ask Me Help Desk - What's wrong with me?

What's wrong with me?

Hi!
I always ask myself what is wrong with me? I love watching my husband of 8yrs have sex with other girls. Most of the time I join in. There has been times where I just sit back and watch with my glass of wine. I love it! I'm 27 yrs old and he is 41. I got him into this. One night we went out and met up with some friends and then went home and went to bed. Then I got up called a friend of ours and she came over and I surprised him while he was asleep. That was his first time every having a 3 way. Then after that we started to explorer! I looked at swinger clubs and we always had 3 ways with women NO MEN! I'm not into that at all.
Even when we have sex I have him dirty talk about having sex with other women and lord I just.. Lets just say I feel better! I'm a good looking women and he is good looking. I just don't know what's wrong with me! He says Im okay and it okay with it.. of course what man wouldn't lol

There is no one flavor of ice cream. There is no one "sex fits all" category.

I don't know why you are concerned - apparently the situation is OK with you, OK with him, OK with the third person. I've certainly been asked to participate in swapping and three somes. It's not my style, but that doesn't mean it's not your style.

I'm sure there are a lot of men that this would not be okay with.

At any rate, if it's a problem and you think something is "wrong" with you, consult with a therapist.

If you don't think something is "wrong" with you, I don't understand why you posted this.

Because I see friends of ours and women saying: I would never let my husband do that or go to a strip joint.. and I go with him to strip joints! I let him look at other women. Sometimes I think Im not normal.. Most women would be mad!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texasgirl84

Because I see friends of ours and women saying: I would never let my husband do that or go to a strip joint.. and I go with him to strip joints! I let him look at other women. Sometimes I think Im not normal.. Most women would be mad!

Well, I don't share my sex life with friends so I don't know what they would or wouldn't think.

As I said if it's OK with you, OK with him, OK with the other party - who cares?

I don't know that most women would be mad. I've never asked.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texasgirl84

Because I see friends of ours and women saying: I would never let my husband do that or go to a strip joint.. and I go with him to strip joints! I let him look at other women. Sometimes I think Im not normal.. Most women would be mad!

The hell with them. Who cares?

Quote:

Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

The hell with them. Who cares?

I think this is in the category of "are you shocked yet?"

I am wondering if you are concerned about what your friends say or if it has you thinking more deeply about your own sexual desires.

As long as you and your husband (plus any playmates) are both fully aware and consenting adults, then it doesn't matter what others say about their sex/love lives or think about yours. They probably have their own kinks.

If you are focusing more on why you are okay with the current state of your sex life, it may have less to do with your husband and more to do with the other woman. It doesn't mean you don't love your husband or aren't attracted to him. It just means you may have needs that he isn't equipped to fill.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texasgirl84

Because I see friends of ours and women saying: I would never let my husband do that or go to a strip joint.. and I go with him to strip joints! I let him look at other women. Sometimes I think Im not normal.. Most women would be mad!

Normal is a Horrible, horrible word. It implies that there is a true and right way to be when there really isn't.

What you're doing is fine. I wouldn't broadcast it to the neighborhood because it will affect your reputation. It is kind of like learning that your best friend moonlights as a dom at a dungeon. It is hard not to look at her and imagine her in leather whipping some poor schmuck. You would think differently of her. Same with if you found out your other firend is so Vanilla it is scary. Once a month, him on top, lights out, quickly, spoon, and that's a wrap. It is about perception.

As long as you're not doing anything against the law and everyone knows what is going on than you're good. What you got is something called cuckolding. Usually the other way around, but it works. If your mate is okay with it and the people you bring in have no problem than it isn't a problem.

Which is something else you need to think on. Protection, diseases and pregnancy and full disclosure between you, your husband, and the third.

Have fun!

Normal for some people is her lying on her back, NOT naked missionary position with no response... normal for some people is full on leather, whips and chains S&M.

If you are both happy with it.. be thankful you both have something you enjoy together...

Quite honestly... thats exactly what many men dream of having... but have to settle for monogamy.