Ok before you all jump to the conclusion that he is a petafile... Hes not I meet him a the mall about 1week ago. Hes in a band he onlu lives about.one town ovr from me and we haven't seen each other since that night! We text all the time and we call each other to talk.. We Facebook and instagram eachither and we have. Accomplished that we like each other! But he even said it himself that if I was older he would date me.. But I still said I want to see you and be friends and he said no.matter what happends with us hell always be there for.me:) but the thing is we both just want to have fun! We have so much in common and I haven't stopped thinging.about him its crazy! But I just don't know if he.does this with every girl he meets.. Hes in a band like girls must chance aftr him.. We have talked out doing things. But ik its wrong but I feel a connection with him <3 help.me fast!</3

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Originally Posted by Merp_lova

But I just dont know if he.does this with every girl he meets..

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I bet he does. Rule of thumb: girls like older guys and guys know this and sometimes use it to their advantage. I have a feeling that's what's happening here, he's just toying with you because he knows he has you wrapped around his finger. He'll have to wait 4 years before you guys can even consider a relationship, a lot will happen in that time, so don't expect much. It's not what you want to hear but it's the truth.

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Originally Posted by Merp_lova

Hes in a band like gurls must chance aftr him..

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Lol not the case, I wish it were.

Slapshots completely right, I would like to add though, do your parents know their daughter is talking to, likes and wants to fool around with a 20 year old? I think it's wrong. Wrong on so many levels for the both of you.

You don't need our help, just ask your parents what they think about your situation, that's all the advice you'll need. The fact you have to come ask us this question tells me that you're afraid that your parents won't approve, which I hope they don't.

This is a crush, and you'd better realize it is before you go and do something stupid.

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Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

Slapshots completely right, I would like to add though, do your parents know their daughter is talking to, likes and wants to fool around with a 20 year old? I think it's wrong. Wrong on so many levels for the both of you.

You don't need our help, just ask your parents what they think about your situation, that's all the advice you'll need. The fact you have to come ask us this question tells me that you're afraid that your parents won't approve, which I hope they don't.

This is a crush, and you'd better realize it is before you go and do something stupid.

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No my parents don't know... Theirs nothing happing besides texts and phone calls we haven't meet up yet.. But you don't understand.. I wish it was a crushh but he hasn't left my.mind for days! I am phone calls till 230 am. Like it real.. But I just need someone else's advice to know why isn't he going or someone else..? He said himself he can't date me he knows that

I would hope for his sake he knows he can't, and you're 14, it is a crush no matter how much you think of it otherwise and I never said something happened, but it sounds like you're on your way.

I've not yet had the chance to experience fatherhood, but being close to and knowing my father very well, if my sister was having feelings and talking to a 20 year old when she was 14, I think all hell would break loose, for him and for my sister. Knowing the bond a father has with his daughter, I think your father would probably be quite upset as well. Say goodbye to trips to the mall alone ever again.


Now, I'm not saying he is a pedophile, or has any intentions to harm you, I have no idea where his priorities lie, but for your safety, from not only your parents, but him stop communicating with this man, and start forgetting about him. It may seem hard at first if you say you've developed feelings for him, but after a while of not speaking or messaging him, you will forget and that is what needs to be done. You're too young to be in a relationship anyway, having feelings for a 20 year old is ridiculous and juvenile.

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Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

I bet he does. Rule of thumb: girls like older guys and guys know this and sometimes use it to their advantage. I have a feeling that's what's happening here, he's just toying with you because he knows he has you wrapped around his finger.

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So I think your right.. but honestly do you think.he has intentions to hurt me? Or like creep.. like he seems like my othr halff...

[QUOTE=Merp_lova;3159644]

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Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

I bet he does. Rule of thumb: girls like older guys and guys know this and sometimes use it to their advantage. I have a feeling that's what's happening here, he's just toying with you because he knows he has you wrapped around his finger.

So I think ur right..but honestly do u think.he has intentions to hurt me? Or like creep ..like he seems like my othr halff...

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A 20 year old interested in a 14 year old? I would jump to the conclusion to say yes, he does have intentions to harm you, sexually or even physically. This is one of those, better to be safe then sorry moments.

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Originally Posted by Merp_lova

Or like creep

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Most definitely the case.

Distance yourself from this dude.

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Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

Most definitely the case.

Distance yourself from this dude.

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But I don't think so.. I mean I kind of have an unsettling feeling since I been talking to him but he's.hott and he's likes talkibg to me and I think that feeling its just curiosity..

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Originally Posted by Merp_lova

But I don't think so.. I mean I kind of have an unsettling feeling since I been talking to him but he's.hott and he's likes talkibg to me

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Of course he likes talking to you! Guess why.

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and I think that feeling its just curiosity..

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There is a saying: Curiosity killed the cat. Don't be that cat.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Of course he likes talking to you! Guess why.

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Why? He likes talking to.me because we get along and I.like his band.. he know we can't date.. But there's no.harm in txting and phone calls and a few pics ,right?? So yea I delevoped feelings for him.. And he likes talkingg:) but why me.. I keep asking like he's 20 & ina band he can get any girl.. And he says its because I'm diff :) <3

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Originally Posted by Merp_lova

why?? He likes talking to.me because we get along and I.like his band ..he know we can't date.. But theres no.harm in txting and phone calls and a few pics ,right??? So yea I delevoped feelings for him.. And he likes talkingg:) but y me.. I keep asking like hes 20 & ina band he can get any gurl.. And he says its because im diff :) <3

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Of course he says you are different. That's one of the basic lines to draw in immature and underage girls. And yes, there is harm in texting and phone calls and pics. Please ask your mom if this is okay for you to keep doing.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Of course he says you are different. That's one of the basic lines to draw in immature and underage girls. And yes, there is harm in texting and phone calls and pics. Please ask your mom if this is okay for you to keep doing.

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OK I actually will but what's the harm behind pics,phonecalls,&txts?? Honestly if u were me

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Originally Posted by Merp_lova

whats the harm behind pics,phonecalls,&txts???

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Right now there is a big trial going on about a man who used texting and phone calls and letters to get young boys to like him a lot. Then this man offered them gifts to show how much he appreciated their friendship. Once he had them locked in and secure in his admiration, he began to molest them in various ways. It's called "grooming." And no, your rock music guy may not be grooming you intentionally, but what if he asks for a picture of you wearing a low-cut top? Okay, you send him one. He tells you how beautiful you are. You are very flattered and really like him a lot more. Then he wants a picture of you naked from the waist up. What would you do?

This is called grooming. He flatters you, makes you feel things for him until you are convinced that you are in love. You become more and more dependent on him. Then one day he asks for some favors, like pictures of you in a bikini, then he works his way up to pics in your underwear. No he has something to blackmail you with if you finally wake up and start to say no.

The real key here is any responsible 20 yr old would know not to have anything to do with a 14 yr old especially not to give her any sort of encouragement. So the fact that he has not cut you off, is extremely worrisome.

So you need to tell your parents and stop contacting him.

I've got an easy solution. Tell your mom and dad that you want to date a 20 year old. When they say no, you can tell him that since your parents said no, you're not legally allowed to date him, so, he'd be breaking the law, and if he tries anything, he'll be a convicted sex offender. I bet he won't be texting you again.

You said this isn't a crush. I have a challenge for you. Wait 4 years. In 4 years come back and tell me if you're still mad about this guy. I'll bet you $500 that you will barely remember his name.

Someone needs to say it, because this kid isn't getting any point here at all.

You're extremely stupid. Yeah, you are, if you think sending pics and texts and talking to him on the phone is okay. It's not, not in any way is it. Alty, ScottGem and Wondergirl have given sublime points, and if you don't get the hint, your going to be in the worst situation you could possibly be in. Learning the hard way. Sweetheart, sometimes we do need to learn the hard way, but you need to wrap your mind around the fact that this is NOT A GAME. Remember when your parents said, "Don't talk to strangers"; I honestly hope they did, guess what, it's for a reason, and a reason like this.

Do you have any idea how easy it is for him to be lying to you? How easy it would be for him to try and meet up with you if he continues this? He may seem all fine and dandy, until he decides he wants to have coffee with you. Then your parents never see you again. It happens everyday everywhere all the time, and it starts just like this.

You need to wake up and realize you're 14 years old, not 24. You're a child, and you're playing an adult game with an adult.

Tell your parents for crying out loud, because a 20 year old talking to a 14 year old like this is illegal, if my mind serves me correctly.

Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to C0bra_M3nace again.

Great post. So true.

PS: Just because you met him in real life doesn't mean he's not a pedophile.

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Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

PS: Just because you met him in real life doesn't mean he's not a pedophile.

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Or if he wasn't and it had never crossed his mind, he might now be on his way to becoming one. Opportunity knocks.