I realize this question must have been asked a million times before. I'm new to this site so forgive me. Would you consider it a bad idea and why? He's older by 8 years, I'm 18 and still quite young. We are both students at the same university. Point is, I think maturity depends on the person, and experience doesn't influence the way a relationship will turn out. We have been close friends for a year now. I know he has his inhibitions on this, which is what may have kept him back in the past, but we get along very well, which is why it's starting not to matter anymore. As I am naïve, and I recognize it, I would appreciate the opinion of someone who is older, or has had this experience.

The gap between 18 and 26 is not that wide. However if it was between 24 and 16, it would be very wide.

A lot of people will try to tell you that age is just a number, but the truth is that it does matter. Yes individual maturity has an influence, but you are wrong when you think that experience will not have an effect. EVERYTHING we experience in life affects our personal relationships.

But age difference matter less and less as people get older to the point where 36 and 28 is really no issue.

Since you are both adults, I see nothing wrong in your dating. You might want to take it slow given you admitted naïveté. But you are old enough to give it a try.

Yes, while Scott and I and most others are the first to jump at a 8 year difference when you are 14 or maybe 16. As both people age and mature, age does really make less difference.

At 18 you are a adult and while perhaps not fully mature you have a full right to decide on your own now. Some older men may be there to take advantage of younger girls, and others not. So you just need to take your time and not rush into anything.

My own wife is 10 years younger so age is a state of mind once both parties are older.

Thank you for your responses. I never thought about the taking is slow thing. It makes sense.

I think to a degree, it's my own inhibitions too. Three years ago, my biggest concern was what my peers in high school thought of me. Three years ago for him wasn't much different than today is. I'm still getting used to this adult thing. But then again, maybe I can learn from him, since I already do just being around him. He does call me kiddo often, although he says that that is his term of endearment. It doesn't bother me too much.
What about the opinions of others? Will they start to matter, eventually? Will they negatively affect things?

Thanks

You need to sort out your feelings about him first. Don't worry about what others think. You have to be with him, they don't.

While I respect Chuck and ScottGem's opinion, and while you are technically an adult, I think he is too old for you and knows it.
You are an adult so just be careful and take it slow. Naiveté and an older person can be a bad mix. Guard your heart and use your head. Don't ignore anything

This is great advice, I needed this. Thank you.

In three days I am marrying a man 30 years older than me. He is 77 I am 47. We met on a spiritual golf trip in Scotland. I was putting my husbands ashes on the Old Couse. That was three years ago. He has been in love with me since then but I always came up with excuses why it wouldn't work. We live 3000 miles apart, I've spent 7 years at a job I was overqualified for to take care of my mother. Now I've taken good care of her and time to spend my life with a man who adores me and is in better shape than I.

What's your point? There is a big difference between your situation and hers. She is 18 years old.
I hope things work out for you. Can I ask why you want to marry someone that old? You are still pretty young

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Originally Posted by Another_Planet

Point is, I think maturity depends on the person, and experience doesn't influence the way a relationship will turn out.

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You can tell yourself that until the cows come home, but you know this is not true, experience definitely does influence how a relationship will turn out. Experiences you have will influence how anything in your life will turn out; in other words, wisdom. I know you know this simply because you came here seeking validation on your relationship. If you truly believed what you said, you wouldn't need validation.

You worry a lot. Just don't think about the age gap.

You're right, that was a really stupid thing to say, that experience doesn't influence relationships. I don't even believe that. What I meant to say that a difference in experience, and that one person is more wise than the other does not necessarily have a negative effect on a relationship. Although now that I think of it, it is probably a bonus to have a same degree of life experience. So disregard that I ever said that :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Another_Planet

What I meant to say that a difference in experience, and that one person is more wise than the other does not necessarily have a negative effect on a relationship.

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In fact it's probably the for the better. You'll learn more from this guy because he's been around the block longer than you have.

Just take it slow. Being around the block a few times can be a negative too. I still think he's too old for you, just your head and take it slow.