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-   -   He's not ready for a relationship? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=672543)

  • Jun 18, 2012, 08:35 PM
    Helena675
    He's not ready for a relationship?
    Well a little background... I've know this guy for two years. We met randomly out one night and we had great chemistry. He asked for my number and I got his and later contacted him. Over the past couple years, I'd go visit him... He visited me. We never had sex but would mess around otherwise.

    We lived in different cities as well and were both in college. I later moved to his hometown (city)... And he has just recently graduated from college and moved back.

    A year ago when he drove up to visit me.. He stopped contacting me afterwards saying he realized that I was ready for a relationship and he was not and did not want to start as long distance.

    Now that we are in the same city.. (about 45 min apart) He contacted me telling me to let him know if I was on his side of town.. I went one day... Let him know and we met for dinner... As friends... Or so I thought...

    The waiter comes by and asks if it's together or separate... I tell the waiter separate, of course because I don't go into this thinking it is a date. He tells me he was going to pay to be a gentlemen and had tried saying together. I tell him it's okay... As we leave the restaurant to go see which movies are playing down the street... He grabs my hand and holds it the rest of the night. In my head, I'm thinking what the hell? As I thought we were keeping this as strictly friends?! At the end of the night he tries to kiss me and I kind of avoid it and then leave.

    We talk the next morning and then since he hasn't contacted me. This kind of annoys me... I'm curious why he always sends mixed signals. We get a long great. He says he always has a great time with me. During dinner he says he wants to go do something together again but I tell him I'm busy with school and let him know when I'll be available in a week and a half.

    He doesn't contact me though. He's a recent graduate and has no job yet an I'm not sure if this has anything to do with it. I know he attracted to me without a doubt. I just don't understand why he never steps up or what scares him about commitment?! Is he not ready or am I just holding on to something when in reality he's just not interested?
  • Jun 18, 2012, 08:48 PM
    TomooseBailey
    Right, Us men think different to you women, We can tell if women like us or not by they're actions, Such as kissing e.t.c.. I've noticed you said you didn't kiss him, was thinking ''what the hell am I doing?'' Well all these signs mean something to us men! He probably thinks you aren't interested in him, Or maybe look ashamed of him. I don't know him, In fact I don't know you but I know how us men think and from what iv'e read you need to put things straight! We (men in general) like CONFIDENCE in women and for them to be upfront about things. Basically what I'm trying to say is.. Tell him that you want a relationship and won't waste your time waiting around any longer. If he complains then he won't be the right one for you (if you want a man with good manors) because he clearly doesn't respect your prospective. Just let him know exactly how you feel and exactly what you want to come of it. If he tries to delay things then as hard as it may be, get on with your life you deserve to live! Good luck anyway I hope this helped, Tom.

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