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-   -   Relationship/confusion (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=672278)

  • Jun 18, 2012, 08:31 AM
    Suncerary92
    Relationship/confusion
    There's this guy we've known each other for 5 to 6 years now. We were good friends no arguments or anything. He liked me for like 2 years then stopped because of something I did. Well he says he didn't like me anymore but for a whole year I stopped talking to this dude because of something that was said. I was hurt and thought I was moving on but during that year I met someone then dated them, then lost my virginity to them. The dude I was dating cheated on me like 3 times lied to me a lot oh yea and liked my SISTER. I was so hurt then oneday the other dude I was friends with his brother found out I was dating then told him. So I called him we talked I told him everything he was there for me I told him I lost my virginity he was hurt. Then months later he told me he didn't like me anymore of course I was hurt. We would always argue I would pick the fights though. And I lied to him a couple of times he caught me in them and he told me plenty of times that I should move on. I apologized to him plenty of times. So we stopped talking to each other for months then when we would get back in touch we argued again. Mainly because of my issues and look you guys I'm not a bad person I respect people I'm a caring person and I don't intentionally hurt people something was just said by him so I was hurt and moved on. But anyway since he told me to move on and since he didn't like me anymore I met someone else of course he complained about that to. I'm confused he acts like he likes me but he says he doesn't. He says he cares for me a lot and doesn't want to see me hurt. I don't know if he likes me now I haven't asked lately. But now we could converse with out arguing everything is going great everything is back to how it was before I met my ex. The thing is when we email sometimes he doesn't write me back after we converse so I got tired of writing him first. I'm trying to move on I'm making him think I did by ignoring him but now that I'm doing that he wants to try to communicate all of a sudden. But I ignore him is that a good thing to do or no? And by the way yes I liked him to since we met I did and still do for like five yrs now when we use to hang out everything is perfect. But we haven't seen each other in like 3 to 4 yrs now but we communicate still but I want to know why he sticks around after everything I put him through and why I can't get over him Please help!! I'm 20 by the way and he's 22 we knew each other since I was 14
  • Jun 18, 2012, 09:35 AM
    slapshot_oi
    I had a real hard time extracting the question from this post.
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Suncerary92 View Post
    ...I wanna know y he sticks around after everything I put him through and y I can't get over him Please help!!!!!!! I'm 20 by the way and he's 22 we knew eachother since I was 14
    'Cause you both still haven't moved on? Why are you asking us? Ask him why he's sticking around.
  • Jun 18, 2012, 09:43 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    You know what, this is a classic shy guy. He likes you, a lot actually, if he's hurt by you losing your virginity to the point where he "doesn't" like you anymore, yeah, he likes you. He sounds like the insecure jealous type. I know this, I was hurt when I found out my high school sweetheart wasn't a virgin, and I used to be that insecure jealous kid, I had my reasons though, and long past it.

    He likes you, plain and simple.
  • Jun 18, 2012, 10:15 AM
    mmresd
    You cannot get over him because you continue to talk to him. Change your contact information, make it impossible for him to find you and you go no contact forever. This cat and mouse game doesn't stop until one of you makes the decision to do so.
  • Jun 18, 2012, 10:22 AM
    Suncerary92
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mmresd View Post
    You cannot get over him because you continue to talk to him. Change your contact information, make it impossible for him to find you and you go no contact forever. This cat and mouse game doesn't stop until one of you makes the decision to do so.
    That's true but it's really not because of contact because even when I do lose contact remember I stopped talking to him for a year and we stopped talking plenty of times for awhile and I still seem to catch myself thinking of him EVERYDAY but I'm not just going to lose contact with him all together because he's a good friend of mine I just need to learn how to control my emotions a little
  • Jun 18, 2012, 10:28 AM
    Suncerary92
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace View Post
    You know what, this is a classic shy guy. He likes you, a lot actually, if he's hurt by you losing your virginity to the point where he "doesn't" like you anymore, yeah, he likes you. He sounds like the insecure jealous type. I know this, I was hurt when I found out my high school sweetheart wasn't a virgin, and I used to be that insecure jealous kid, I had my reasons though, and long past it.

    He likes you, plain and simple.
    Thanks for the advice and yes I thought the same thing to and still thinks he likes me to this day I think he just doesn't want to tell me because he doesn't want to get hurt again which I won't that was a mistake what I did and won't happen again and your probably right about the shy thing because when he first told me he did he was afraid to tell me and went by some crazy time thing lol
  • Jun 18, 2012, 12:17 PM
    Homegirl 50
    He needs to grow up. This back and forth, auguring when you're with each other and missing each other when you're away from each other is twisted. It's like he manipulates you and likes it. Keeps you confused and likes it and you keep falling back into his trap.
    Stay away from him until you are no longer controlled by his tantrums.

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