Boyfriend shut me out of his life
So, here's the situation. No one has been able to understand it. Not my friends, not a relationship counselor, no one.
I was friends with a guy for two years (he's 27, I'm 32). We became really close during my divorce and custody procedures because he's a single dad and I wanted to make sure I wasn't being too demanding or y in my settlement and he would discuss his relationship with his daughter (who is the same age as my youngest, I have three daughters), or dating and why he couldn't find the right girl. Our kids were friends and one night while we were hanging out, we kissed and started dating. After about a month, he felt we were rushing things and I agreed and we decided to stay friends. This lasted nine days and we were back together (he came back and said I was the best thing that had ever happened to him and we should just slow down, not break up).
So, we got back together and were blissfully happy. We never argued ever. He did warn me that he gets panicked by relationships quickly and "runs" & I would need to fight through those periods. There was only one time he got worried but he didn't run, we just talked through it. The kids loved him, his daughter loved me and after about 4 months, he started talking about putting our families together. I told him we should maybe wait on that, but the kids always played together.
After 6 months, one of our mutual friends started joking that we should get married. I was hesitant because my divorce was ugly and I am afraid of remarrying. The boyfriend said he could change my mind when the time was right and proceeded to discuss when and how he would propose to me, how he intended to pick out the ring, and even set a wedding month with my friend. I told him I liked right now, no need to rush, I know this level of commitment scares him, etc. He said he wasn't panicking, he was going to marry me someday.
He went away for a weekend and came home tired and run down and worn out from work, school, etc and asked me for some space a for a few days. I told him that was fine, but the next day there was a crisis with one of my daughters so I called him and asked him to be there with me. The next day I apologized for not giving him that couple of days to recharge and told him that I would after this and he said it didn't matter, nothing mattered because I was the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with and he needed to be there for me and I was the most important thing that wasn't his daughter. Six days later he sent me an email dumping me, saying he doesn't want to be in a relationship. He told me the next day that he still loved me but he couldn't be my boyfriend anymore, so I asked if we could stay friends and he said sure. He hasn't talked to me since, deleted me from FB, everything.
Why? I don't understand. No one understands. My best friend works with him and says he's miserable. I don't think there was another girl involved. I saw a picture of him with a female friend on FB right before he deleted me but it didn't look cozy or anything, he didn't have his arm around her or anything like that. I've seen him in similar poses with my friend who's a lesbian. He's also started forcing my best friend (who is a gay male) to talk to him at work by cornering him and discussing work stuff, even things that aren't in my BF's department or things he wouldn't know the answer to. My friend has made it clear to the boyfriend that he wants nothing to do with him and they are no longer friends after the way he just left me and yet, he still forced my friend to make conversation.
He told me once he runs but always comes back because he realizes he's being stupid. Do you think that's it? Why is he so miserable if he got what he wanted, which was to be single? Why force my friend to talk to him? Why shut me out? I didn't badmouth him, I just asked if the kids could still play because they are close. In fact, I've had his co-workers ask me about him at social events with my friends and I've said he's a nice guy, it just didn't work out.
What the crap happened here?
