For some reason this question got deleted in the criminal law category, so I figured id ask it in a different one and see what happens.

My ex boyfriend and I are pregnant, and a few years back (after 18 years of age) got arrested for what he claims is underage drinking and weapon class A charge. He also claims he threatened to kill the cop with his knife. At first he thought this was a felony because companies he applied for denied him because they told him it was a felony. A few months ago he got a lawyer and the lawyer said it was just a misdemeanor. He says the threat must not be on the report, but he's not positive. He had to do 3 months of drinking and anger classes at the courthouse. So my questions are...

1. Can this be used against him during a child custody case due to his involuntary nature?
2. Can the court find the police records of that night?
3. Is it possible the threat is not on the report?
4. Does having texts of him saying what happened that night, and where it happened help me at all?

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Originally Posted by confoozed

For some reason this question got deleted in the criminal law category, so i figured id ask it in a different one and see what happens.

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First, your original question was not removed. I found it. However since your question is about custody, not criminality, this is the more appropriate forum so I have now removed the other one.

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Originally Posted by confoozed

My ex boyfriend and I are pregnant,

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Really? Your boyfriend is pregnant too? How did that happen?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

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Originally Posted by confoozed

and a few years back (after 18 years of age) got arrested for what he claims is underage drinking and weapon class A charge. He also claims he threatened to kill the cop with his knife. At first he thought this was a felony because companies he applied for denied him because they told him it was a felony. A few months ago he got a lawyer and the lawyer said it was just a misdemeanor. He says the threat must not be on the report, but he's not positive. He had to do 3 months of drinking and anger classes at the courthouse. So my questions are...

1. Can this be used against him during a child custody case due to his involuntary nature?
2. Can the court find the police records of that night?
3. Is it possible the threat is not on the report?
4. Does having texts of him saying what happened that night, and where it happened help me at all?

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1. Yes, but if this is the only blot on his record and he completed the anger management courses its not going to be given much weight.

2. Maybe

3. Anything is possible.

4. No

The likelihood is you will get primary physical custody and he will get joint legal custody and visitation (assuming that's what you are asking about). At most you might get supervised visitation initially.

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... 4. Does having texts of him saying what happened that night, and where it happened help me at all?

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

... 4. No
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I believe the texts would be admissible as an admission. You don't think they would be relevant?

You can claim he said it, in court he can just say he was talking trash about pulling a knife on a cop, had it done it for real, he would be doing a year or more in jail, and would have been charged with it, So it is not true and it was only talking trash, you can prove he was a lying but not that he really pulled a knife, unless your attorney talks to the police officer involved and that police officer will testify in court there was a knife.

Your attorney will pull or get a actual criminal record report to show the actual crimes convicted of.

Also none of that means much if you went back to him after it happened, since of course it proves you did not see him as a threat or a danger

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Originally Posted by AK lawyer

I believe the texts would be admissable as an admission. You don't think they would be relevent?

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No I don't think an arrest for underage drinking even with a weapons charge and even with threatening a police officer that occurred a "few years back" would be seriously relevant in a custody battle now.

As the mother, the OP would be highly likely to get primary physical custody. But I doubt if this incident would preclude the court from awarding the father joint legal custody and visitation if this is the only incident. That's what I said and I stand by it. The most that might happen is the court will order supervised visitation initially.

Also none of that means much if you went back to him after it happened, since of course it proves you did not see him as a threat or a danger[/QUOTE]

I didn't know of this until 4 months after I dated him, which happened to be when I got pregnant. And his whole family knows about the situation too.

Why would it come up in companies as a felony though?

And he also has had anger issues... he got kicked out of his apartment for damaging an elevator screen, damaging blinds, and lights in the apartment.

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Originally Posted by confoozed

Also none of that means much if you went back to him after it happened, since of course it proves you did not see him as a threat or a danger

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I didn't know of this until 4 months after I dated him, which happened to be when I got pregnant. And his whole family knows about the situation too.

Why would it come up in companies as a felony though?

And he also has had anger issues... he got kicked out of his apartment for damaging an elevator screen, damaging blinds, and lights in the apartment.[/QUOTE]


Apartment building I should say

It "comes up" as a felony - I would guess - because it was charged as a felony. In NY I think any assault or attempted assault on a Police Officer is a felony.

So up until you found all of this out he was a calm individual, someone you chose to co-parent a child?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

It "comes up" as a felony - I would guess - because it was charged as a felony. In NY I think any assault or attempted assault on a Police Officer is a felony.

So up until you found all of this out he was a calm individual, someone you chose to co-parent a child?

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No he was immature and reckless... I didn't plan to get pregnant with him, obviously not after 4 months of knowing him..

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Originally Posted by confoozed

no he was immature and reckless....i didnt plan to get pregnant with him, obviously not after 4 months of knowing him..

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Sorry, but the "obvious" part isn't always so obvious. AMHD answers question after question on this subject every day.

Let me put it another way - you chose to have the child?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Sorry, but the "obvious" part isn't always so obvious. AMHD answers question after question on this subject every day.

Let me put it another way - you chose to have the child?

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If I'm talking about custody I'm pretty sure I'm "chosing to have the child" just because we made a mistake doesn't mean I don't want the life of a baby. Id be a good mother... him, I'm worried about.

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Originally Posted by confoozed

no he was immature and reckless....i didnt plan to get pregnant with him, obviously not after 4 months of knowing him..

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And you didn't understand that engaging in sexual intercourse risks getting pregnant? So he was immature and reckless, good qualifications for a sex partner but not a father, right?

Hopefully you have learned that no one should engage in sexual intercourse unless they are prepared to have a child.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

And you didn't understand that engaging in sexual intercourse risks getting pregnant? So he was immature and reckless, good qualifications for a sex partner but not a father, right?

Hopefully you have learned that no one should engage in sexual intercourse unless they are prepared to have a child.

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Thanks buddy, but unfortunately this isn't a forum on you getting to judge how I got pregnant, is it? Umm... no. its called a mistake for a reason, and honestly, you have no right to even know that. But thanks anyway.

Maybe, since the courts may view the same issues, you list all the bad reasons he should not get custody ( joint custody) the court will ask at times why you were OK with all of this when you were with them, You will be "judged" in court by your choices and behavior just as he is, you accepting his behavior then will be considered negative for you as well as him.

No one said I wasn't ready to have a child, like I said, I am, my whole discussion about this boards pupose is because I think he is an unfit parent, now if anyone wants to read what I've wrote about him and help me on that, id appreciate it, otherwise its no ones business why he is the father of my child.

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Originally Posted by confoozed

, otherwise its no ones business why he is the father of my child.

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Apparently, you don't understand how this site works. You post here asking, essentially, how to eliminate or curtail the rights of your child's father. Therefore, that father's character and your decision to have sex with him are pertinent. Clearly you made a mistake, a mistake you are paying dearly for and you have my sympathies. But you need to understand the realities of that mistake. The responsibilities and obligations you will have because of that mistake. You will be judged for that mistake for the rest of your life. So you better get used to it.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Maybe, since the courts may view the same issues, you list all the bad reasons he should not get custody ( joint custody) the court will ask at times why you were ok with all of this when you were with them, You will be "judged" in court by your choices and behavior just as he is, you accepting his behavior then will be considered neg for you as well as him.

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I didn't accept his behavior, I was working on it with him because I cared for him. He was very nice to me, but when we broke up for a little bit during that time he acted irrationally and his anger got him kicked out of his apartment. If I choose to not always be with him, I don't need him taking the anger out on me or the child. So just because I was never there to witness these actions and never did harm to me doesn't mean his actions on other things were not involuntary. Would I want him as a father of my child? no. but did it happen, yes.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Apparently, you don't understand how this site works. You post here asking, essentially, how to eliminate or curtail the rights of your child's father. Therefore, that father's character and your decision to have sex with him are pertinent. Clearly you made a mistake, a mistake you are paying dearly for and you have my sympathies. But you need to understand the realities of that mistake. The responsibilities and obligations you will have because of that mistake. You will be judged for that mistake for the rest of your life. so you better get used to it.

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I agree, but that doesn't make you have the right to tell me that I wasn't ready for a child because I made a mistake and think my ex boyfriend is unfit. I will be judged by the court, not by you. And I'm pretty sure they are not going to ask me sarcastic questions like "and you didnt understand engaging in intercourse could result in pregnancy?" I'm pretty sure its common sense...

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Originally Posted by confoozed

no one said i wasnt ready to have a child, .

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Actually YOU said it:

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Originally Posted by confoozed

i didnt plan to get pregnant with him,

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Originally Posted by confoozed

but that doesnt make you have the right to tell me that i wasnt ready for a child ...

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I didn't say you weren't "ready" I said you weren't "prepared". Since, as you admitted, you didn't plan it, then you weren't prepared.

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Originally Posted by confoozed

if i'm talking about custody im pretty sure im "chosing to have the child"

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No you are choosing to KEEP the child. You already admitted you didn't choose to have the child.

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Originally Posted by confoozed

i'm pretty sure they are not going to ask me sarcastic questions

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Don't be so sure. Judges are human and are not immune to sarcasm.

Bottom line here is that I don't see enough to severely curtail the father's rights should he choose to exercise them. I don't see enough to rule him unfit, maybe enough to require supervised visits.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

No you are choosing to KEEP the child. You already admitted you didn't choose to have the child. .

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And you say I just admitted I didn't chose to have the child? I did choose to have the child... thats why I'm having it, and why we are talking about custody. I didn't ask if for you to judge me as an unfit parent, or whatever you would like to think, I asked in this forum if these things could be used against my ex boyfriend in a custody case. That is all.