OK my ex husband and I split right after my daughters 1 birthday since then he has never had an interest in being a father to her 1-2 times a year he asks to see her and then either cancels or never firms up plans to meet. She is 4 now and has no idea who he is, she call my dad, dad or my now husband daddy. I am a very plan ahead type person when it comes to my kids and now I want to know that if I were die in car accident she wouldn't be required to go and live with he bio dad. He hasn't seen her since Christmas and even then she kept asking who he is. Now I know chances are that even if it came down to it he wouldn't take her but I want to make sure he doesn't have the option, he doesn't have a job, a car, or a home. So any help would be appreciated.

Is your now-husband interested in adopting your daughter? Was in similar situation with my daughter (bio father didn't have a lot of interest in seeing her and even less in paying child support). As soon as we were married, my husband and I started step-parent adoption proceedings, and shortly after our one year anniversary, the adoption was final. And I no longer have to deal with her bio father or custody issues. Hope this helps!

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Originally Posted by DuckGesling520

OK my ex husband and I split right after my daughters 1 birthday since then he has never had an interest in being a father to her 1-2 times a year he asks to see her and then either cancels or never firms up plans to meet. She is 4 now and has no idea who he is, she call my dad, dad or my now husband daddy. I am a very plan ahead type person when it comes to my kids and now i want to know that if i were die in car accident she wouldn't be required to go and live with he bio dad. He hasn't seen her since Christmas and even then she kept asking who he is. Now I know chances are that even if it came down to it he wouldn't take her but I want to make sure he doesn't have the option, he doesn't have a job, a car, or a home. So any help would be appreciated.

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You don't... the father is the father... and will remain the father unlesshe gives up his rights as part of an adoption.

This would require going to court and having a judge nail down the father's role in your child's life-- meaning, if Dad has Jr. on the second weekend every month, he had better come pick up the child and spend the weekend with her, or else he would be violating the court order. Get a lawyer. If a four year old is unable to identify her own father in a photo or at the dinner table, that means there is something seriously wrong with their relationship.

Of course, with his track record, he might very well bail on the scheduled court date-- but that would reflect poorly on him, not you, as the irresponsible parent.

The best case scenario would result in your daughter seeing her father on a regular basis and developing some sort of positive relationship with her father. However, what I want is irrelevant. If in this situation the best course of action is to make step-dad the new "Dad", take the actions necessary to do so-- that means lawyer up. Whatever the case, this in-and-out relationship needs to end and that would depend on an official ruling.

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Originally Posted by cuteshoes337

This would require going to court and having a judge nail down the father's role in your child's life-- meaning, if Dad has Jr. on the second weekend every month, he had better come pick up the child and spend the weekend with her, or else he would be violating the court order. Get a lawyer. If a four year old is unable to identify her own father in a photo or at the dinner table, that means there is something seriously wrong with their relationship.

Of course, with his track record, he might very well bail on the scheduled court date-- but that would reflect poorly on him, not you, as the irresponsible parent.

The best case scenario would result in your daughter seeing her father on a regular basis and developing some sort of positive relationship with her father. However, what I want is irrelevant. If in this situation the best course of action is to make step-dad the new "Dad", take the actions necessary to do so-- that means lawyer up. Whatever the case, this in-and-out relationship needs to end and that would depend on an official ruling.

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This should be in the legal forums where we take great pride in our answers. All of "us" to great research. Some work in the profession. Some are law school grads.

Pleast post your source for a father who doesn't want to visit the child being held in contempt for not exercising visitation rights. The Court can order child support but CANNOT order mandatory visits.

Unless the birth father is willing to sign for the child to be adopted there is no need to "lawyer up" because it be a waste of time and money.

Very bad and irresponsible quasi-legal advice.

But please post your source.

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Originally Posted by cuteshoes337

This would require going to court and having a judge nail down the father's role in your child's life-- meaning, if Dad has Jr. on the second weekend every month, he had better come pick up the child and spend the weekend with her, or else he would be violating the court order. Get a lawyer. If a four year old is unable to identify her own father in a photo or at the dinner table, that means there is something seriously wrong with their relationship.

Of course, with his track record, he might very well bail on the scheduled court date-- but that would reflect poorly on him, not you, as the irresponsible parent.
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Please state where you are at please, since this is obviously not the US, since this is not how court ordered visitation works in the US.

The bio father can not be forced to visit, only have dates he can or could visit.
There is no contempt of court for not visiting

There was no statement in my comment saying there would be "forced" visitation. Rather, my point was that if he proves disinterest in the child, this would be evidence that parental rights can be argued away.

As for posting this in the "legal" forums, that is up to the OP to choose which page the question belongs in. Because her question regarded the legal question of parental rights, I shared the discussion that I have had with my sister regarding the same issue, with her children's father. A parent who is disinterested in their own child and otherwise neglects them can be taken to court and sued for parental rights.

You did post this, right? "he had better come pick up the child and spend the weekend with her, or else he would be violating the court order."

I'd like to know where your sister lives that not keeping a Court-ordered visitation schedule is violation of a Court Order.

I realize you back pedaled later... but this is what you said first.

I also don't know what "sued for parental rights" means. Please explain.

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Originally Posted by cuteshoes337

... I shared the discussion that I have had with my sister regarding the exact same issue, with her children's father. A parent who is disinterested in their own child and otherwise neglects them can be taken to court and sued for parental rights.

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Did your sister tell you this? Where (what state or country) was she able to sue her childrens' father "for parental rights" and what was the outcome?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

This should be in the legal forums where we take great pride in our answers.

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This has been moved to Family Law.

I want to know what a "now husband" is.

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Originally Posted by cuteshoes337

As for posting this in the "legal" forums, that is up to the OP to choose which page the question belongs in.

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Where did you get that idea? Yes the OP chooses the forum, but that choice should be the correct forum. If a question is not posted to the correct forum it will be moved.

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Originally Posted by cuteshoes337

Because her question regarded the legal question of parental rights, I shared the discussion that I have had with my sister regarding the exact same issue, with her children's father. A parent who is disinterested in their own child and otherwise neglects them can be taken to court and sued for parental rights.

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What may have happened in ONE case in ONE jurisdiction does not necessarily apply across the board. A court can force a parent to financially support a child, but it cannot force a parent to be a parent. I've never heard of a court using its powers to punish a parent for not being a parent. In addition, a court will not terminate a parent's rights solely because they are not exercising those rights. If a step parent is requesting to adopt, the court will consider the lack of parental involvement in deciding to grant the adoption.

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Originally Posted by DuckGesling520

I am a very plan ahead type person when it comes to my kids and now i want to know that if i were die in car accident she wouldn't be required to go and live with he bio dad.

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The ONLY way you can be sure of this is if your husband files to adopt your daughter. As long as her bio father is her legal father (as is now the case), then he will have the rights to take custody of her if something happens to you.