Every single person right now hates me... I have 4 best friends. I am being honest to the depth of my heart right now when I say that I get invited to nothing and included in nothing during school. In recess, I just sit alone by myself on the stairs. I have always been called a nerd. I am the eldest from my siblings, I have always had a pressure to achieve and I have been achieving and working hard to an extent after when my friends (so called) told me I am overachieving.

As I said, everyone hates me right now, I had 4 best friends. One not calling me, other called me a, another one told me I was insecure and prejudiced and another one screamed at me because I didn't reply to their texts. And my parents, well my dad isn't around ever and when he is he screams at me and then my mom is always screaming at me.

Yes, I believe in God and I respect him a lot. But after something's that I have done, I think I am ashamed that even God may not like me (no disrespect meant to him) and I am crying right now asking myself why and what hurts the most is that the only reason I know is that it is all my fault!

I feel you man, I have been in your situation trust me.. just let some time pass and you see that everything gets cool.. but one thing I got to tell you man, you have to make some new friends I mean 4 friends isn't much. Make new friends man and after some time ask them to hang out ;)

I don't know how to make friends
No one likes me for who I am!
I have changed so much to suit other people that now I don't know even that who I really am?
I hate myself too

You just won't understand

You make it sound like it is so easy to make friends
I made these 4 with so much effort and I have had them since 8 years.
Now I have none
Do you noe what it feels like to have no friends suddenly?

When I was young I thought it was my job to figure out what everyone wanted, to react rather than act. I too felt that life had no meaning (guess what - it doesn't!) and I didn't want to go on.
First, I think if you can accept that there is no meaning to life other than what you find in it that is meaningful to you, then you will breathe a sigh of relief. There are bugs that live for one day. We just have lives that seem to go on forever and are full of angst and love and hurt and knowledge and they seem like they must have 'meaning,' but they are no different than the bug. Hopefully you will find that liberating.
Second, pleasing people: stop it. Just be nice, even in passing. Hey, nice sweater, good job you did in class, like your hair that way - compliments and friendliness. It isn't about presenting yourself for approval. People approve when you are friendly, warm, and interested in them. Sure, share a little and as time goes on, more and more, until you are real friends. Join clubs in school and sign up for events and plays and so on. If that's not your style, then don't do it. You don't need a ton of friends, but 'best' friends don't abandon best friends! Ask them what is wrong and tell them to not hold back, you really want to know. If one of the 4 is actually willing to tell you, that is a good friend.
If you are a nerd (I'm a big nerd appreciator), then find other nerds. I don't think it's a derogatory word. A nerd to me is sensitive and likes to learn for the sake of knowledge, that's all, not some obnoxious person, although it's possible to be an obnoxious nerd. Which doesn't sound like you at all.

Right now you think that no-one knows what you are going through. The fact is I felt exactly the same as you from the age of 11 to 14.

I had many aquaintences but only 2 friends. I found it very difficult to make friends because I didn't know how to act around people; I didn't know whether to be myself or pretend to be someone else. As an introvert I found it difficult to make conversation such a small talk, and because I had no hobbies at all, I had nothing in common with anyone, thus I had very few friends. I too was never invited out anywhere at all.

When I was 14 I was fed up of being alone and depressed, and I wanted to change, so I found myself a hobby. This hobby helped me to make new friends and give me confidence. Having more confidence meant that I had more self esteem; this then helped me beat my depression and I became a positive and happy person.

Gaining confidence and self esteem is the key because it will stop you from hating yourself.

Simple techniques I used to make friends:
1) Be happy and positive.
2) Be confident.
3) Be kind and friendly.
4) Be generous to people.
5) Be yourself.
6) Smile
7) Do not be horrible to others.

When I was really depressed I blamed God for my situation, but I started to read the bible for guidance. This verse inspired me and I hopw it can inspire you too. 1 Timothy 4:12 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young. Instead, set an example for the believers through your speech, behavior, love, faith, and by being sexually pure."

You sometimes may think that God is punishing you, but he is really just testing you. This test will be the making of you because God has planned so much for your life; he wants you to be an inspiration to others.

Listen to God and obey him, and he will bless you with the confidence and positivity to help you turn your life around, and make friends. God can only help you, but YOU have to make things happen.

Remember God loves you :)

I wish you all the best! :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by joypulv

When I was young I thought it was my job to figure out what everyone wanted, to react rather than act. I too felt that life had no meaning (guess what - it doesn't!) and I didn't want to go on.
First, I think if you can accept that there is no meaning to life other than what you find in it that is meaningful to you, then you will breathe a sigh of relief. There are bugs that live for one day. We just have lives that seem to go on forever and are full of angst and love and hurt and knowledge and they seem like they must have 'meaning,' but they are no different than the bug. Hopefully you will find that liberating.
Second, pleasing people: stop it. Just be nice, even in passing. Hey, nice sweater, good job you did in class, like your hair that way - compliments and friendliness. It isn't about presenting yourself for approval. People approve when you are friendly, warm, and interested in them. Sure, share a little and as time goes on, more and more, til you are real friends. Join clubs in school and sign up for events and plays and so on. If that's not your style, then don't do it. You don't need a ton of friends, but 'best' friends don't abandon best friends! Ask them what is wrong and tell them to not hold back, you really want to know. If one of the 4 is actually willing to tell you, that is a good friend.
If you are a nerd (I'm a big nerd appreciator), then find other nerds. I don't think it's a derogatory word. A nerd to me is sensitive and likes to learn for the sake of knowledge, that's all, not some obnoxious person, although it's possible to be an obnoxious nerd. Which doesn't sound like you at all.

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Thank you sooooooo much... your words were the awesomest and I really appreciate that you would say that... yea I'm a nerd... but who cares... I am who I am and I should like myself for that right? And thanks a zillion times for saying all of that... you don't noe how much it means to me and you are totally right... pleasing people won't mean or bring anything... and nice comparison with the bug :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rocketman11

Right now you think that no-one knows what you are going through. The fact is I felt exactly the same as you from the age of 11 to 14.

I had many aquaintences but only 2 friends. I found it very difficult to make friends because i didn't know how to act around people; i didn't know whether to be myself or pretend to be someone else. As an introvert i found it difficult to make conversation such a small talk, and because I had no hobbies at all, I had nothing in common with anyone, thus I had very few friends. I too was never invited out anywhere at all.

When I was 14 I was fed up of being alone and depressed, and I wanted to change, so i found myself a hobby. This hobby helped me to make new friends and give me confidence. Having more confidence meant that i had more self esteem; this then helped me beat my depression and I became a positive and happy person.

Gaining confidence and self esteem is the key because it will stop you from hating yourself.

Simple techniques I used to make friends:
1) Be happy and positive.
2) Be confident.
3) Be kind and friendly.
4) Be generous to people.
5) Be yourself.
6) Smile
7) Do not be horrible to others.

When I was really depressed I blamed God for my situation, but I started to read the bible for guidance. This verse inspired me and i hopw it can inspire you too. 1 Timothy 4:12 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young. Instead, set an example for the believers through your speech, behavior, love, faith, and by being sexually pure."

You sometimes may think that God is punishing you, but he is really just testing you. This test will be the making of you because God has planned so much for your life; he wants you to be an inspiration to others.

Listen to God and obey him, and he will bless you with the confidence and positivity to help you turn your life around, and make friends. God can only help you, but YOU have to make things happen.

Remember God loves you :)

I wish you all the best! :)

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It is soooo sweet of you to actually care so much! You are really nice and what you were saying really got through to me too... it is very heartwarming... thanks for sharing these techniques... I promise I will give them a try... I am writing them down right now :)

This problem is internal, seek professional help.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SomeoneUnlikely

i dont know how to make friends
no one likes me for who i am!
i have changed so much to suit other people that now i dont know even tht who i really am??
i hate myself too

you just wont understand

you make it sound like it is so easy to make friends
i made these 4 with so much effort and i have had them since 8 years.
now i have none
do you noe what it feels like to have no friends suddenly?

---

YES!! By the time I was in ninth grade in school I had been to 9 different school, I have learned how to make friends through practice, because every year, every friend that I had I would lose. It isn't easy at first but practice makes perfect, and smiling all day like I told you makes things WAYYYYYY easier.

However, you need to look at this positively, do things that you like and don't mind what others are doing. A big part of learning (and yes you need to LEARN IT) how to be happy starts with oneself, you need to be happy on your own before you are happy with others, this negative attitude will lead everyone else to react the same way. Involve yourself in different groups at school, talk to people, have a smile in your face and you will be all right. There is a lot of meaning to life, most of which you might not understand or realize right now, but eventually everything will be OK. Try just smiling all day even if it is fake and you will see a big change in which people react to your company.

Duplicated post, please erase.