I have been living with my boyfriend for over two years now, along with his mother. Several years back, after my boyfriend went through a rough divorce and was experiencing financial difficulties, his mother offered to move in with him and help him with rent, and that whenever he found someone new and wanted to start a life with them, that she would move on and live somewhere else. She has two different nervous system diseases and although she can't be on her feet all day long, she can make herself food and bathe/bathroom herself. She's resided in a few different nursing facilities in the past but refuses to return to one because she would have too many limitations on what she "likes to do". She takes huge advantage of my boyfriend and I on a regular basis and has regular outbursts and fits of rage that often include a lot of her swinging her walking cane.
Now, my boyfriend and I are expecting our first child, and it's becoming a bit terrifying being here by myself with her while he's at work during the day, but we have no idea how we can get her out. Her overwhelmingly selfish and disrespectful attitude towards everyone has pushed everyone else that she knows away, and the disability check that she receives every month is nowhere NEAR enough for her to go to a nursing home now that Medicaid dropped her.

It's to the point now where we both dread being at home and it's becoming seriously emotionally and mentally taxing- especially now that I'm pregnant. We need advice!

If the lease or rental is in his name alone, ( not mom's) you evict her and let her decide where she wants to live

I'm not so sure, considering that your boyfriend has lived with his mother for several years now (save a few stays in nursing homes), that he is 100% willing to evict her.

He is renting from what I can gather.

Are there other family members that can take her in. Is it possible to make up what she is short financially, in order to live in a home. Are there any local organizations that will assist with applications for low-income senior housing. Do any service or church organizations she may belong to, have assistance for their members.

If her income is such that she is on welfare, are there any possibilities for housing assistance through them.

With her disability(s), is it worth a visit to her Doctor for help in assisting her to find suitable accommodation.

It seems to me that in the short term, while she is fairly independent, it is tolerable, or arrangements would have already been made- particularly if she needs regular medical or home assistance.

In the long term, her health may get worse, and her expenses greater, thus less to help pay rent. What I'm saying is, a solution has to be found sooner rather than later.

It does not sound like she will be moving out voluntarily, but I do think that her best interests should be considered in establishing a safe place for her to move, with the care she needs, or will need, in the future.

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

I'm not so sure, considering that your boyfriend has lived with his mother for several years now (save a few stays in nursing homes), that he is 100% willing to evict her.

He is renting from what I can gather.

Are there other family members that can take her in. Is it possible to make up what she is short financially, in order to live in a home. Are there any local organizations that will assist with applications for low-income senior housing. Do any service or church organizations she may belong to, have assistance for their members.

If her income is such that she is on welfare, are there any possibilities for housing assistance through them.

With her disability(s), is it worth a visit to her Doctor for help in assisting her to find suitable accomodation.

It seems to me that in the short term, while she is fairly independent, it is tolerable, or arrangements would have already been made- particularly if she needs regular medical or home assistance.

In the long term, her health may get worse, and her expenses greater, thus less to help pay rent. What I'm saying is, a solution has to be found sooner rather than later.

It does not sound like she will be moving out voluntarily, but I do think that her best interests should be considered in establishing a safe place for her to move, with the care she needs, or will need, in the future.

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He is actually more than willing to have her gone, and sadly, the only thing that IS keeping him from evicting her is that the money that he and I bring in isn't enough to pay the bills.

As far as other family members that would be willing to take her, there really are none. Her mother ((who is in her mid 80's and dealing with an array of her own health problems)) is the only one who offered, but we know that it's definitely not an option since my boyfriend's mother is so demanding and has no regard for the health or welfare of others. No one else wants to have anything to do with her. She doesn't attend church or any other community groups because she keeps herself in bed as much as possible. Although she CAN cook for herself, shower and bathroom on her own, she lets us do as MUCH for her as possible.

She sees a neurologist every three to six months, mostly depending on if she wants to petition him for some additional medication that she can take, so I'm not sure how much help he would be as far as helping us with finding her somewhere to stay.

I actually used to work in assisted living and truly believe that, at least for the time being, this would be the best arrangement for her as far as keeping her as independent as possible while still receiving the care she occasionally needs. The only problem is, even the most inexpensive homes in our area are more than twice what she gets from the government every month. There is no way we could contribute to the remaining balance ourselves since we'll have to begin focusing on our own bills and what we'll need for the baby.

I've researched government assisted nursing homes and such, but haven't found much for where we live.


Overall, both my boyfriend and I are becoming extremely worn down by this whole situation. With no help from her and a LOT of resistance, ugly words and the occasional assault by her walking cane, we're not sure how much more we can handle from her.