So we all hear it (at least I do) that its normal for men to look at other women and imagine them naked or fantasize about them or what have you. But, like, is that really true? I mean I guess every man is different, and I know women do it too, but its seems like more men do it. And I guess there is some biological factors involved or something. But like... I don't like it at all. My boyfriend does it apparently, and he says what they all do "I'm a guy" blah blah. I'm not mad or anything but like it makes me sad and insecure. I'm already heavy for a girl, so like I can't help but think. "He just wants her skinny body" because lets face it, the only girls a guy in a relationship would look at are some decent looking girls, and by today's standards that's skinny beautiful girls, both of which I am not. So it just kind of messes with my already low self esteem. And like I don't quite get it. I see very attractive men all the time, but my thoughts only go as far as "Man he's hot" End. All my dirty and perverse thoughts go to my boyfriend lol. And like I'm so inexperienced I've yet to make in him finish! I don't know how to give a hand job or a blow job so he usually has to masturbate to finish which I honestly didn't mind (I know I'm bad at sexy stuff lol XD Well not all sexy stuff :D I can seduce him just fine lmao) but now I'm worried that he has to think of other girls to finish. I know its probably just my low self esteem making me all worried. I don't know. I'm mostly sorting things out in my head. I just don't know how to handle my feelings. No matter how much I rationalize, like telling myself no harm was really done, it's natural human instinct etc. I still feel crap, fat, and ugly. Any thoughts or ideas to help me make this situation better/easier? I just feel really inadequate, or like I'm not doing what I need to properly :/ And my boyfriend is a really nice guy! He never degrades me and is really loving! This is just my brains reaction to him being honest with me lol

First of all, you have to feel better about yourself. Is some counseling a possibility?

Second, know that men are very visual and have a small place on their brain called the Fantasy Lobe. (It's next to the one called the Reality Lobe.) If the guy gets lost fantasizing, the Reality Lobe kicks in. You are in his Reality Lobe, the better place to be.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

First of all, you have to feel better about yourself. Is some counseling a possibility?

Second, know that men are very visual and have a small place on their brain called the Fantasy Lobe. (It's next to the one called the Reality Lobe.) If the guy gets lost fantasizing, the Reality Lobe kicks in. You are in his Reality Lobe, the better place to be.

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Not at the moment lol I'm currently studying abroad and I have like no insurance so it would probably cost a fortune. We're talking about it but like I can't shake this feeling that I'm not good enough which he stresses is not the case. And I know I'm being all emotional about this. But This is just how I feel. And I'm talking to him much in the way that I am talking to you right now. I'm not letti8ng my emotions take over, but they are really strong :( My feelings of inadequacy I mean :/

Oh, yeah, women have an Emotional Lobe in the same place where the men's Fantasy Lobe is. Women have a Reality Lobe too. Your Emotional Lobe is too big right now and needs some trimming and scraping and reducing. Want us here to have a go at doing that?

Two kinds of men don't fantasize about women... gay and dead.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

Two kinds of men don't fantasize about women.....gay and dead.

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The gay men may sometimes if the women is real manly looking.

Yes all men do it, learning to be respectful and keep their mouth shut about it, and not talk about it to their girlfriend.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

Two kinds of men don't fantasize about women.....gay and dead.

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Scratch out gay and I'll agree with you.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Scratch out gay and I'll agree with you.

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I can do that... being I'm NOT gay... I can't put myself into their mindset...

Just assuming their taste for sausage doesn't extend to include tacos.