Don't want to move on yet, but I'm forcing myself to?
I've been on this site multiple times asking about my relationship problems and just as everything goes well another one arises. I was discouraged a bit from asking anymore on this site because I feel like I may be annoying some people especially talaniman ha ha (idk why) especially from recent posts. But, today I'm going to try for my final time and hopefully in the future I can hope to solve things like these on my own...
Problem?:
Me and my BF have been together for 2.5 years (if you remember my posts, it's pretty much the same guy, I'm just recapping for those who don't want to look, etc). We started dating in high school. Everything was great until senior year when he became a bit distant. On the last week of our senior year he decided to break up with me, because he doesn't want a relationship going into college (I though he was thinking about this for a month, he said he only thought about it the night before). He told other people he didn't have feelings for me, but after some talking he still did and we got back together. Fast forward- we just finished our first year of college, we saw each other once a month, sent each other letters, it wasn't that bad. The only problem I had was he wouldn't contact me as much as I did him, but I assumed he was busy with college. Now that's college is over and we're home we were happy to see each other. We had relations, we celebrated my birthday, it was great to be home. We were planning on having a picnic but he put it off for a week, the same week he became distant again. I was worried so I text and called more often. He told me nothing was wrong and said he loved me. The next week, he comes to my house and tells me that he's not in love with me as I am with him, he said he wants me to move on, and that we shouldn't talk for a couple of weeks. He said if I want to be his friend I should call him. He said he's been thinking about it for a week or two. When I asked if there was someone else, he looked to the left and said no. I cried, he let me hold my hand, but he felt he shouldn't be here. He said he cares for me and wants me to be happy. When I told him I loved him he said," ok" and that there was nothing I can do to change his mind right now.
- The next few days he ignores me like the plague when we have a group outing
- A few days later I initiate contact and we meet, he pretty much told me the same thing..
- Next few days I decide to contact again telling him all my feelings, he then calls me after telling me he doesn't want to talk.
- Now he's all like "I'll let you know when I feel like talking" =/
- I've been sending him "Do you remember texts..."
Right now, I feel like I shouldn't talk to him. I'm going to keep my space and try to work on myself. Though at the same time I feel I should wait it out. People tell me to move on, but I feel like I should give him his space and go from there. I'm don't want to move on... not yet anyway... I have a strong intuition that he will come back to me... =/ Though if he does ask me back I know I won't take him back automatically..
I'm at a point right now, where my intuition is telling me to stay away and wait, but as a wait work on myself. As I work on myself maybe I'll end up forgetting all of this (fat chance in hell lol) or thinking about this way less than I am now. I'm more frustrated right now than anything because someone I love is leaving me stranded and I continue to wonder why I'm being treated like this, being left in the dark. My goal is a month and then from there I'll figure out what to do. It's been 3 weeks since the break up... I'm suppose to have a family reunion soon so I'm looking forward to that. I'm trying to look for a job as well.. I still cry from time to time... but I still feel there's some hope.. idk..
Please tell me what you think? I again, appreciate all the help I've received on this site.
