I’m on the verge of tears because of my husband. He’s looking at starting his own pharmacy (were both pharmacists) and is expecting me to quit my job as a clinical trials researcher and join him. I hate community pharmacy and that is why I left and entered this field. I love my current job and I feel miserable that I will have quit and go back to community pharmacy.

The problem is he expects me to join him in this field the rest of our lives which makes me even more miserable as it’s crushed all my career dreams, and goals. He says that I should I do it because I love him and that I’m being immature. He won’t take no for an answer.

We are recently newlywed and staying with his family who are giving me hell about this and treating me bad in general. He doesn’t see it however. They talk bad about me and I really want to move out to our own place however with this business we will be unable to and maybe stuck with them for the next ten years.

What do I do? Everyone will be disappointed in me if I ask for a divorce since were newlywed but I am really resenting him and regret marrying him. He doesn’t want to go to counseling.

Why would y'all be stuck with his parents for 10 years. Did the two of you talked about this before the exchanged of vows? Did you know this is what he wanted to do and he expected you to give up your job?

You have had much trouble even before marriage which seems a bit rushed given your other posts. Especially this one,

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ed-651303.html

Now he is doing the same things he did before, manipulating an controlling with his family to back him up. I know you feel isolated and alone, with no support. Who wouldn't after two months or so.

But now you have made this choice, and see that he has other ideas besides yours. Not what you bargained for. Can you just go home, to your parents or family? That would be better than being where you are and under stress and pressure, and forget what others will say, or those that will be disappointed.

There is no equality, and things are moving much to fast and it's a red flag when the honeymoon period is replaced so fast by this sort of turmoil. Channel your frustration into seeking proper and positive advice and support, and changing the scenery for yourself away from him and his family, since you don't seem to be strong enough against them to put them and your husband to back off, and mind their own business.

I highly recommend you put all these grand plans on hold, get your husband away from his family while you both have a chance to talk and plan with NO interference.

If not... you must remove yourself from this situation no matter what anybody thinks, says, or does. You marry to work together, not be dominated, dictated to, or emotionally beaten into submission. Obviously you two never talked and agreed on a plan, so its no wonder you have this conflict now. Unless it can be resolved to the benefit of you both, there is no marriage any way, jut a meaningless title.

There are approximately 16 threads about this troubled relationship. Earlier yesterday this was a "buy a house or start a business" problem. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...ss-669709.html The threads appear to contain conflicting information. One year ago there was a career choice to be made - audiologist or therapist? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/health...st-575075.html. A month ago there was a job to be started in early July of this year. In March she had a degree in Nursing - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/academ...ee-559003.html Now she's a Pharmacist (and I have read OP's answer on medical threads, which I have questioned). In March 2011 OP needed 2 more years of schooling to become a Pharmacist.

The posted wedding date (as of yesterday) is June 17th - today is June 12 - ? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/job-hu...ob-665255.html

If OP hates her husband, no matter how long they've been married, it's time to get out. I'm sure this started as resentment (read the other threads) and now it's turned the corner.

I see everything to be about what other people think - HIS family, HER family, total strangers. OP has to decide what she wants and what she can live with.

Otherwise there will be another 16 threads on the same problems.

So he won't go for counselling - go alone.

I see immaturity in both parties - the conflicting threads make me wonder what his family deals with on a daily basis.

LOL, multiple posting are difficult to follow, and I tried to merge the last two, but I have watched her grow up as a teen, and she has no one to talk to and get good guidance, or support, AND to be honest, I have no clue why she has latched in a hurry on this latest guy.

Not to judge, but the conflicts are pretty obvious. Youth has its... mistakes, and misunderstandings of what reality is all about. Its hard for a Muslim female to leave home without a guy to take her. There are a few things about her reality I don't understand

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/emotio...ss-533587.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ip-525712.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...fe-533918.html

Indication of stunted growth because of insufficient healing that I attribute to relationship with the MOM, and hope the OP, either straightens me out, or confirms she is indeed looking for a family to support and guide her. Again, not judging and I hate speculating, but I do read all the posts of the OP, over time, (and OP's hate it when you look at them as a whole, and not just one question at a time), but she is very young, impulsive, and head strong, not in a bad way, just in a young way. Above all like many youth of today, rebellious.

I know I will get an earful if she comes back with a response. Hope she brings it!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

There are a few things about her reality I don't understand

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Great post - just to address this one sentence, yes, that's my problem. "This" post contradicts "that" post. She's either married or she's not. She's either a Pharmacist (in one year - ?) or she's not. She's a nurse or she's not.

And I understand the "latch onto any available man" thinking.

And, yes, when you compare posts you are suddenly spying on people.

Hopefully she'll come back and answer the questions. If this is a troubled person I'd much rather hear the truth and at least make an attempt at being helpful than continue to think it's all smoke and mirrors.