I am currently 8 months pregnant and the father of my baby refuses to speak to me, I have no idea what he plans on doing as far as custody, etc. since he will not return my calls.

Ideally, I would like to ask him to relinquish his parental rights but if I do that does that mean that I would not be able to get child support from him? Basically, if he relinquishes his rights does this include any financial obligation he has to my child as well?

Relinquishing rights means only that he will not have the right to make decisions regarding your child (i.e. where s/he will go to school, if s/he needs medical treatment, etc) it does not mean that he is not obligated to pay support. He was responsible for bringing the child into the world, he is responsible for its financial well being.

If reqlinquishing rights did in fact mean that parents would be giving up financial support there would be long lines around the courthouses of the world.

My opinion is that if you should ask him for money if you're going to ask him not to see your child.

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Originally Posted by endlessecho

My personal opinion is that if you should ask him for money if you're going to ask him not to see your child.

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I may be tired and please correct me if I am wrong. I have read the sentence above 3 times now and it still makes no sense to me.

First sorry, it is not up to you for one thing, and visitation and paying child support are not related, they are two separate issues, a parent can not be in contempt of the court order just because the other parent is.

So no you can't make him give up his rights, unless he does something to show a danger to the child nomrally, so he will have his rights to visit, and be part of the child's life if he wants to. But you can not force him to.

Next the court will not let you give up the child's rights to the child's money, they will protect the interest of the child over your wishes.


So sorry if you want all or nothing but that is not how it works, the sooner you learn you have to work within the legal system the faster you will understand what is gong to actually happen

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Originally Posted by J_9

I may be tired and please correct me if I am wrong. I have read the sentence above 3 times now and it still makes no sense to me.

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I think it was supposed to read "you should not ask for money if you are going to ask him not to visit."

Apparently I should have given more of a background if people were going to offer their personal opinions, however, I was not asking for personal opinions... I was asking if anyone knew what the law was as far as parental rights and child support, both of which I have been told by my lawyer are separate items.

I appreciate the comment left by "endless echo" but it has never been my choice for my child not to see his father... his father has made his own choice and I was simply inquiring for the best interests of my son. I am not the type of person who is going to not allow my sons father to see him and ask him to pay me money... I would rather not have anything from him but my son is not going to go without because his father decided that he was going to be a child himself and not own up to his responsibilities, whether he wanted a child or not... he created one and he needs to be responsible!!

Thank you all for your opinions, none of which helped beside J_9

Yes, Lisa, the two are total and complete separate entities.

Now, if you choose that you do not want or need the money from your ex, the judge MAY take that into consideration, but that is not set in stone. Actually it rarely happens unless you can prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that you can handle the finances alone.

Lisa, he will not return your calls, but that does not mean that all is lost as far as your child is concerned. Things may change, but if they don't please go after what your child deserves and needs.

The best interests of my child are all that I have in mind, it's just too bad that his father does not feel the same way.

I know this was a long time ago but if you still have problems or have problems in the future, my attorney told me when I wanted to get rid off my 8 yr old daughters dad, I didn't care about getting child support anymore I just wanted him out of the picture and he told me that the state of Missouri would not bastardize a child unless there is a father willing to adopt and take his place and the real father would have to sign away rights. I was able to get full custody with him only getting to have one hour visits once a week through the court with a specialist observing him.