I am in a relationship from last 3 years and I love him a lot. But the problem is that he doesn’t like to go out with me. Earlier he used to say that he don’t like going out to movies or just hang out. But gradually I found out that it’s only with me that he doesn’t like to go out. He makes plans with his friends and cousins on and off. But it’s really hard to believe that in a relation of three yrs. We hint even dated once. We live in same society and in the beginning of our relation we used to meet on the terrace every sat and Sunday. But from last 2 yrs. He had even stopped that.

I mean in spite of living in same society we only see each other once in 2 months. That’s really frustrating because every time I ask him to make a plan he says he is either busy or is tired as he has night shifts. But on weekends he usually make plans with his cousins for late night parties and all but when it comes to talking to me he feels so sleepy. From last 2 yrs. We only talk for like 10 minutes a day.. moreover I even asked him to take an off and make some plan to go out but in 3 yrs. He never took that initiative and always said that his boss would not allow.

But whenever his cousins or his mom ask him to take a leave or if he thinks he is tired he always takes a leave. I am so tired of all this. I have tried every way of convincing him. Please help.

Sounds to me like you wasted 3 years on this punk. Get up and leave, don't take that kind of crap.

Thanks a lot for the advice.I have been thinking the same since last few mnths.n I mailed this guy 3 days ago saying that I am breaking up with him.he didn't called or react for 2 days but then today sudddenly he came to my place early morning.my parents were there too.so I had to talk to him because my parents don't know about my brk up thing. I don't know why didn't he react?? I mean is he thinking that I am nt serious or brk up was exctly what he wanted... I am confused. :-(

Don't be confused. By what you wrote, you allowed him to take you for granted, an ignore you for other things. You ignored all the warning signs that this relationship wasn't all that happy, and did nothing but talk, with no actions behind them. You were way to passive.

You talked he didn't listen, you dump him, and get on with your life. Stop being so passive, demand what you want, and accept no less.

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QUOTE by talaniman;
Don't be confused. By what you wrote, you allowed him to take you for granted, an ignore you for other things. You ignored all the warning signs that this relationship wasn't all that happy, and did nothing but talk, with no actions behind them. You were way to passive.

You talked he didn't listen, you dump him, and get on with your life. Stop being so passive, demand what you want, and accept no less.

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Thanks... I guess I did the right thing.but its really getting difficult for me because he became my habit from last 3 months.but for me his reaction was more disturbing than our brk up. It seems that he was all prepared for this.:-(

He wasn't in it to win it, and such half measures are not to be tolerated. Never be confused by a half stepping idiot who obviously has other priorities.

You have lost nothing but dead weight on your happiness, and are free to explore better options, and opportunities, and that's a great thing.

Dontcha feel you can fly now?? You should, and you will!

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Originally Posted by talaniman

He wasn't in it to win it, and such half measures are not to be tolerated. never be confused by a half stepping idiot who obviously has other priorities.

You have lost nothing but dead weight on your happiness, and are free to explore better options, and opportunities, and thats a great thing.

Dontcha feel you can fly now???? You should, and you will!!

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Really thanks a lot... it was really really helpful... :-)

So why don't your parents know, talk to them to, get their advice. And why the Mail him a letter. Why not the tell him in person or on the phone how you feel.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

So why don't your parents know, talk to them to, get their advice. And why the Mail him a letter. why not the tell him in person or on the phone how you feel.

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I'm just waiting for the right time to tell my parents... and I used the mail option because I knew that if I wll tlk to him he will convince one way or the other.he has done this earlier also.even I thought that mailing him wasn't correct.so I hv decided to confront him once and make the matters clear once and for all...

He doesn't need to see you as much as you need to see him, if he is at all interested you. If he is not meeting your needs, break up with him and move on. He is not going to change, you don't "convince" someone to WANT to hang out with you, either they are to, or they don't.