I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We don't live together but have been talking about it for at least a year. We are both very concerned about getting it right, as we are in our 40s and I have children from my previous marriage. He has never been married, but seems happy with the idea.
Over the course of our relationship he has told me he wants to end it around 4 times now, it seems to me when he gets down or feels stressed about my stress! It seems to come at the times I most want him to be compassionate, and I feel terribly let down when this happens. A pattern has emerged though that within days he makes contact and wants to patch things up. He is quite dismissive of what has happened and admits to ending things in the 'heat of the moment' and because he feels powerless and frustrated.
I told him last time he did it (about 5 mnths ago) that this behaviour is very hurtful and if it happened again that would be the end. He did it again last week after what I had thought was a good few months of getting closer. He is now very very remorseful but says I shouldn't have interpreted it as being the end as he always comes back. I told him when someone says they want to end the relationship and won't contact you again now or in the future, that it is only right to believe them.
He admits he has communication issues and says he wants to find a better way. What do I do ? I love him, but this emotional immaturity has me really worried? I want to help him but don't know if I should or can ? Will getting back together just be giving him the message that he can hurt me again ?

How many more chances are you going to have to pull out of your pocket before you realize that he shouldn't be getting anymore? Should have been the second chance. Get rid of this guy before you waste any more time realizing he isn't going to change.

You're dealing with an emotional baby.

You say when you need support is when he bugs out. What kind of boyfriend is that?

You're wasting your time with this guy. You told him next time is the last and he did it anyway. Now you are considering taking him back. When you do, you will show him that he can do it yet again... and again... How much longer do you want to deal with this?

If you have said what you mean, now you have to mean what you say. Dump him! You and your kids deserve much better, so provide it for them.