A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a
letter from his
grandmother asking him to send her a current photo
of himself in his
new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that
he lives in a
nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it.
The next day he discovers that he had accidentally
sent the bottom half of the photo.
He's really worried but then remembers how bad his
grandmother's
eyesight is, & hopes she won't notice. A few weeks
later, he receives
a letter from his Grandmother. It says:
"Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle.
. . . it makes your
nose look too short."
Love, Grandma
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER...
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the
Mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling me
It's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day
take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few
seconds."
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of
Toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between
My breasts.
"How long will this take?" I
Asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years,"
My Husband replies.
I stopped.
"Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet
paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger
over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for
your butt, didn't it?"
He's still alive, and with a great deal of
Therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably
Continue to take his meals through a straw.
> Stupid, stupid man.
