my husband friends are imp for him more than me? he always tried to spent his time with his friends.. weekend.. time after office.. etc.. even in my pregnancy days most of his time he spent with his friends.. when I need him most I find myself alone? but the worst thing z that he didn't realize it?
many times I tried to talk to him but he always start arguing.. shouting on me?
he said whts wrong in this? he said that m trying to tied him.. restricted him..?
but I really don't want to do so... I only want that he also spent some quality time with me??
is I'm wrong?? m vry depressed? what I should do?

I wish all husbands and fathers were more like the men you see on TV, who just can't do enough for their wives and children, and they are loving every minute of being a husband and father.

I don't see it that way, most of the time. Although, most provide at least an effort, when things obviously need attention.

It seems he is living the life of a single man, with the benefit of marriage, and now a child. Logic says that with changing lives to include new and more responsibilities, that the single life would not be priority, or it would be at least modified, with marriage and family coming first.

If he is arguing and digging in his heels to maintain his needs and wants, against what he should be doing, you have a problem on your hands. And arguing what he should do vs. what he thinks he should do, likely won't make any lasting changes.

Saying to him that you want more quality time, means what exactly? What is your version of quality time- helping out with a couple of loads of diapers, cooking a meal once a week, taking the baby out for a walk so you can take a nap, watching a movie together? How do you define what your needs are, and how do you express them in a non-confrontational way, or a different way, that won't cause an argument.

For a man to spend most of his free time with his buddies, and who insists on doing so, what can you do.

For starters, talk to him. Tell him ahead of time, that next Tuesday night at 6 p.m. you have a sitter coming over, and you have arranged for three hours together so you can go to a quiet place (coffee shop, park, restaurant) to talk things out that have been bothering you. Doing this makes talking less confrontational, and he will be better prepared not to be instantly defensive.

Then be prepared to talk. 'Quality time' means different things to different people. Be specific, and through communicating with him, you may find that he actually does have reasons for why he does what he does. He could be nervous and unsure of himself jumping in and trying to be one of those TV dads. He may be having a hard or stressful time at work that he doesn't tell you about, because there isn't an opportunity to at home. He could be overwhelmed with the idea of responsibility to his family. There could be a million reasons. Listen, talk, listen, talk. No accusations, no 'proof' that 'this' means 'that', and you have all the answers.

Give the man a chance to know that you have needs. State them, and be clear. Simple things, like time together can be easily arranged even once a week, with a regular sitter, even for a few hours.

If you try to get through in a more productive and positive way, and take who's right, and who's wrong out of the picture, you may find this will go a long way in establishing a better way to communicate.

Good luck.