She stop trusting me after I stared getting her atenttion neglecting no paying atettion no looking for her like I just to do she was doing d same to me so I got tierd so I did the same she didn't show her emotion like she didn't care iwas very sweet wit her she wasn't the same with me so when I stared to I ack like that what I did was push her for her not to trust me I don't what to loss her or my family my kidz want us to be together I'm trying but she's been cold but sometimes we make love and good beautiful I know she love me now I know my dauther is good friend wit my wife my baby girl I 15years old and that's her step mom just few week ago my dauther came to my apartment and she catch me crying and ask me pops was rhong I say nothing she ask over and over so I opend up to my 15 yrs old dauther and told her everything she say pops sit down she stared to told me the my wife she just to cry for me went I went out play pool wit my friend and come home late I didn't know she love me my dauther told me all the pain I make her go tru my dauther told me about my wife feeling something the I wanted to hear for a long time wow my dauther told me all the pain but itry to talk to my wife before the situition became like this but she didn't talk to me at all always keep me guessing wondering what was in her heart and mind all I ever wanted was to worked out I still do but is very hard to get my wife trust.can you help me?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by geraldovalentin

She stop trusting me after I stared getting her atenttion neglecting no paying atettion no looking for her like I just to do she was doing d same to me so I got tierd so I did the same she didnt show her emotion like she didnt care iwas very sweet wit her she wasnt the same with me so wen I stared to I ack like dat wat I did was push her for her not to trust me I dont wat to loss her or my family my kidz want us to be together im trying but shes been cold but sometimes we make love and good beutiful I know she love me now I know my dauther is good friend wit my wife my baby girl I 15years old and thats her step mom just few week ago my dauther came to my apartment and she catch me crying and ask me pops was rhong I say nothing she ask over and over so I opend up to my 15 yrs old dauther n told her everything she say pops sit down she stared to told me the my wife she just to cry for me went I went out play pool wit my friend and come home late I didnt know she love me my dauther told me all the pain I make her go tru my dauther told me about my wife feeling something the I wanted to hear for a long time wow my dauther told me all the pain but itry to talk to my wife before the situition became like this but she didnt talk to me at all always keep me guessing wondering what was in her heart and mind all I ever wanted was to worked out I still do but is very hard to get my wife trust.can u help me?

---

You didn't buy trust insurance when you got married?

Trust is hard won.. and easily lost... getting it back is even harder... and sometimes impossible. You are going to have to go over and beyond what she wants to even have a chance... and its always possible she will never get it back.

I agree with Smoothy 100% and also think it's a BIG mistake to drag your children and/or stepchildren into this. DON'T CONFIDE IN YOUR CHILDREN. These are adult problems and between you and your wife.

The first thing you need to do is, stop playing games with each other. When she was ignoring you and acting like you didn't care, you turned around and did the same thing to her, and where did that get you.

The two of you need to talk, talk and talk some more. Get into marriage counselling if you can, and learn how to communicate. If you cannot communicate, how can you even begin to address trust issues, or know what those trust issues are.

Communicating is not about just wanting to, or needing to. Communicating is about establishing a connection between the two of you, so there is no doubt about love, trust,compatibility. There is no magic fairy that is going to suddenly throw some happy dust on the two of you, and you'll live out your dreams in never never land.

You have to make it happen. Build a foundation, and start with communicating. Trust will come when you know enough about your partner, that you have confidence in common goals and you can reasonably expect that things will only get stronger.

If you allow things to remain as they are, and choose to just be unhappy, without even trying something concrete to address the issues, you are doomed to fail.

It is very unfair to confide in your daughter. That then puts the burden of solving your problems on her shoulders- which is too big a burden for her to carry. It is not her place to solve your problems. It is bettween adults, and adults only. Private and confidential.

You and your wife are acting like children. Time to grow up, get into counselling, learn what you need to learn, and work hard on your marriage.