I have been dating my boyfriend since 4 yrs. And we had our breakup nearly before 7 months and the reason of our breakup was one of his friends who was my friend even. We became friends in Oct 2011 and then I started getting news that my boyfriend is speaking to other girls and telling all the things which were completely wrong which we haven’t done anything. Then I started disliking my boyfriend at that time and was close to his friend.

One fine day his friend proposes me knowing that I’m in relation, but I still was his friend. Then when my boyfriend came to know about the proposal given by his friend to me he got very angry and we started fighting. From that day onward there were many fights and breakups going on . My boyfriend started using abusing language on me and his friend could not tolerate it. And he came to me and said you leave him. He's no longer liking you and just wants to use you and as he was my best friend. I believed all his words and had a final breakup with my boyfriend.

After few days his friend proposed me again and then I had started liking him as well, and we were in relation. Everything was going fine but one day my e boyfriend come and gives me friendship offer and as he was my 1st love I could not ignore it. I accepted and we were now friends. We were having meets and talks and this thing my present boyfriend didn’t liked and we had started fights and problems but they would get solved even very soon. But don’t know what happened to him. He suddenly changed after few days he started ignoring me and would talk to me or meet me only when he wants or his mood does.

Whenever I called him he would say I’m busy and after some time when I would be busy he'd like to talk at that time. There were no topics left between us in every small things he would get angry and scold me and put the phone off then he would only call me up and make me all right.

I started loving him more and more. Then recently my ex boyfriend called me up and said I have an important work meet me urgently as he said. I thought there might be some problem and I ran without informing my boyfriend. When I reached there I see that there was nothing so serious. He just called me for time pass and he had also called my boyfriend there as he saw me over there. He got shocked and just left that place I went behind him but could not catch him up. After going to home when I called him he said that I’m busy I’ll speak to you later. I was like okay and when I called him at night he said that all is over and I don’t need you anymore. Just shut away from my life and never show me your face.

I requested him a lot I even cried and I also sent him messages on face book but he had blocked me. He said me not to call or text if I do so he would call up my dad and tell him everything. After all this happen I was very disturbed. I’m not able to do anything just thinking about him and listening to the songs which he liked. Then before two days my ex boyfriend called me up and said me that he wants to patch up with me again. Now I’m totally confused. What should I do?

I just need my boyfriend. I don't want to go back to my ex boyfriend. I just love my present boyfriend and want him at any cost. Please tell me how I should bring him back to me. I know that he's very angry guy (short tempered) but he's very loving too still. I don't want to live without him. Just want him in my life. Please help me out. I really love him a lot.
India, 2nd yr. degree , age-20.

Please don't write in shorthand here; it's difficult in a long post.
You seem to be leaving out the part about your 'friend' being a man. Regardless of how YOU know it's just friendship, your boyfriend is naturally jealous.
Write him a letter and tell him you will give up that friendship if it means that much to him. But first you need to decide if you can do that. There's nothing wrong with valuing the friendship above all else, especially when young, and you sound young.

These two friends are playing mind games with you, and bouncing you back and forth between them and you fall so easily. They have you catering to them both when the thing to do is pick one, and totally reject the other.

Actually reject them both, because THEY are friends. That seldom works when they play games with each other, an you caught in the middle. It will always be that way while they are friends and that will make love unhealthy.

Remove yourself from this situation, you can do better for yourself. That's the folly of dating best friends.

Thanks a lot for your suggestion I have sent him a text saying that I will agree to all your words you say and I will quit friendship with him please and never talk to him back you at least talk to me once and clear all the doubts. We can start our relation again give me one chance please and m waiting for your reply... I even told him that I think I cannot get a better loving person than you please talk to me. This I sent him last night and till now there is no reaction at all. Now what should I do what step must I take now... please help me out...

You do nothing. Its his choice give him time to think on it! Any thing else you do would be desperation, and harassment. The thing to do is get yourself under control, so at least you don't push him away even further.

You do not give away your dignity, and self respect for love. No guy wants that. At least not one you would want.

Last night he called me at 1:25 n I spoke to him. He was like why did you text me when I said you not to do.. I told him that why are you being so rude with me, every person gets a second chance then why don't u give 1 chance.. he says I don't want to see you anymore with me, I want to live alone. I said him I will never talk to any guy accept you I don't need anyone when you are with me we can make a new start.. he says no I don't love you anymore I just love my ex and m desperately waiting for her expecting that she'll be back to me.. I asked him if you loved her then why were you with me till now why did you waste your time behind me you could have consoled her. He says no I don't need to do that I believe she will only come back to me.. I had no words to say I was completely out of my control in tears. He said don't do this drama and off my mood by crying and all the stuff.. I said m not doing drama m really serious for you I really love u, why don't u understand.. he says I don care you do whatever just remove me from your life and you can enjoy your life with others. I said him m not that type of a girl what you thinking and I cannot love again I just want to be with u. then he said don't tell me this I know very well whom you love and how much you love. He is thinking wrong about me and m sure his friend would have only told him all the rubbish things and he is blindly believing it.. now m no where in his heart m only in his mind with all the negative things I don't have any option left now to get him back I don't even think he would turn back and see me again and yeah he said this also that he don't want to turn back... it might me my fault only that I lost him... now I don't think I can get him back... now what should I do..?

You leave him alone completely, work through your pain and get over him in time so you can regroup, and rebuild your life, and be happy this chapter is closed, and there will be better options, and opportunities in the future.

What you think you are the only one to ever make a mistake and get a broken heart? WE ALL HAVE. And it made us stronger, wiser, and better able to protect our hearts in the future. So will you. The misery and pain is temporary if you leave him alone!

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You leave him alone completely, work thru your pain and get over him in time so you can regroup, and rebuild your life, and be happy this chapter is closed, and there will be better options, and opportunities in the future.

What you think you are the only one to ever make a mistake and get a broken heart? WE ALL HAVE. And it made us stronger, wiser, and better able to protect our hearts in the future. So will you. The misery and pain is temporary if you leave him alone!!

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Yeah thanks a lot I have decided to move on now and not think about him I will concentrate on my carrier and on my family, I will try to forget him. I have started being with my mom more and making myself busy all the time so that I don't get time to think about him but what should I do if he comes back to me after some or long time I know he will not but just in case if he does then what should I do..?

Hopefully by then you will be happy on your own, and strong enough to resist his BS!!

Reflect on the relationship you had with your ex boyfriend and ask a few questions to yourself. Was he sweet and kind? Did he neglect your feelings or hurt you emotionally, mentally or physically? You need to find out if he is really worth a second chance or someone you should never go back to.

Win your ex back and express your genuine feelings towards him by letting him know you truly miss him and he is always on your mind. If you ended the relationship, let him know you made a huge mistake and now realize he were a wonderful person that was perfect for you.

Bring up the good times the two of you spent together in the past. When he thinks of the fond memories of the relationship, he might consider taking you back.

Take things slowly so you can win his heart again by asking if you can become friends. If he agrees to, this should be your chance to explain yourself and talk about what went wrong in the relationship and the mistakes that turn the relationship sour. Your ex may definitely have something to say as he might explain how he felt about the failed relationship.

Ask if he does not mind hanging out sometimes. This is a great way to spend more time with him so you can ease your way back in his life as a girlfriend again. Visit places that you both used to go to so he can reminiscence about the days when the relationship was perfectly fine. If things go completely smoothly over time, go back to the first place you met him at and ask if he likes to be yours again.

Before making moves on your ex, make sure that he is not already taken. If he is, respect him and his relationship by staying out if it.

Making effort that you will be a better girlfriend shows your ex that you can be taken seriously and not playing games with his heart.

If you and your ex have mutual friends, find out how he feels about you.

Use the above tips, decide your action plan and have guts to show him that you actually loved him very much. He will be definitely yours. Good Luck. Have faith in yourself of making everything right and back into its place.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Hopefully by then you will be happy on your own, and strong enough to resist his BS!!!

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I think I have done a mistake. Yesterday when I was in my class I was busy with my work and suddenly started thinking about him I tried to stop but I don know why his thoughts were coming in mind again and again and where ever I saw I found something related to him and when I went out for refreshing my mind I saw his name in one bike I got so angry that when I don't want to think about him why the hell is he coming in my mind... then I sent him an hatred text saying that you were a big mistake of my life why did you come in my life and all I even said him that I just hate u... :-( after sometime I realised that I have done a big mistake that text must have hurt him very badly nah... don't know why but sometimes I really feel bad about him and sometimes get so angry... I feel to ask him have I done such a big mistake that m being punished so badly that I can neither see him nor hear his voice... m very confused...

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Hopefully by then you will be happy on your own, and strong enough to resist his BS!!!

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I think I have done a mistake. Yesterday when I was in my class I was busy with my work and suddenly started thinking about him I tried to stop but I don know why his thoughts were coming in mind again and again and where ever I saw I found something related to him and when I went out for refreshing my mind I saw his name in one bike I got so angry that when I don't want to think about him why the hell is he coming in my mind... then I sent him an hatred text saying that you were a big mistake of my life why did you come in my life and all I even said him that I just hate u... :-( after sometime I realised that I have done a big mistake that text must have hurt him very badly nah... don't know why but sometimes I really feel bad about him and sometimes get so angry... I feel to ask him have I done such a big mistake that m being punished so badly that I can neither see him nor hear his voice... m very confused... what should I do now??

You got mad and did the wrong thing, but let it go and don't do it again. Don't make it a big deal either, just get back on the path and do better!!

The lesson is to calm yourself, and not act out of ANGER!

Yesterday in the evening my 1st boyfriend who is my close friend had called me up n said come along with my friend he wants to introduce her to his friend so we both of us went. When we reached there I saw my x was there n he was looking so cute as he wore my fav shirt n the coincidence was even I wore that dress which he would die to see me in that dress. As I saw him after many days I could'nt control myself I was broken completely tears were running. N then my friend came to me we talked but I was still staring him he looked at me only once n then was acting as if he didn't care I was there. I had to leave soon I tried to go near him but could'nt go. After coming home I was continuously thinking about him I was going mad for him I could just see his face in front of me I was very disturbed that I even fought with mom. I cried a lot I was blank I could'nt think what must I do I just wanted to meet him n tell him that I can't live without u I really love u I wanted to hug him. I even called him n sent him text but he din reply so I got ready to leave from home to meet him at 1:10. Then I thought for a moment if I call him directly he'll never come so I called up my friend n asked him to meet me urgently I was so unpatient at that time din even know what m saying n doing. My friend asked me to say everything then move out from home I told him I want to meet u its urgent he then made me calm n asked me to sleep now I'll meet u tomorrow I said okay n went to sleep at 3:15. I'm not understanding why is this happening to me I decided o forget him but when he came in front of me I could control my feelings m just not getting what to do but just wan him any how at least I want him as a friend or any relation but I want to be in touch with him... please tell me now what should I do my condition is very critical at this moment please help plzzzzzz...

Its your continued contact with these boyfriends that's biting you in the butt. Ist boyfriend who you should leave alone, takes you were the ex is "by chance", and you have an emotional break down. Yeah right.

Keep on going down this path and you will keep getting played, both by these fellows you think are friends, and your own lack of control. Now you lash out at your own mom, and cannot even think of what to do.

As said before, leave these fellows alone. Its not simple, but it will give you a chance to let the dust settle, and you can practice controlling yourself, and not allow others to play on your emotions.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Its your continued contact with these boyfriends thats biting you in the butt. Ist boyfriend who you should leave alone, takes you were the ex is "by chance", and you have an emotional break down. Yeah right.

Keep on going down this path and you will keep getting played, both by these fellows you think are friends, and your own lack of control. Now you lash out at your own mom, and cannot even think of what to do.

As said before, leave these fellows alone. Its not simple, but it will give you a chance to let the dust settle, and you can practice controlling yourself, and not allow others to play on your emotions.

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Okay I'll try do leave them and live my life alone but my friend he is only not leaving me nah he said me we can be good frenz... m trying to get all right with myself and one thing I would like to clear is my ex how much ever time he was with me I felt he truly loved me and that only attracted me and made me fall deep in love with him.. I said him that I will not force you but I will wait for you u can take your time and I said I love u... dis was my last text to him now I will not text or call him for some days I want to see whether he will reply me or not... till then I will take care of myself and keep control on my emotions...

He told you to leave him alone. So stop waiting and move on without him, or his friend. No wonder you are so confused. You have two guys that are exes now, and you are trying to keep them as friends. Never works like that sorry, and absolutely No Contact with either of them is the way to go so you can get yourself under control, just be single, and stay that way until you have healed and can manage your feelings and be happy as a single girl.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

He told you to leave him alone. So stop waiting and move on without him, or his friend. No wonder you are so confused. You have two guys that are exes now, and you are trying to keep them as friends. Never works like that sorry, and absolutely No Contact with either of them is the way to go so you can get yourself under control, just be single, and stay that way until you have healed and can manage your feelings and be happy as a single girl.

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Okay.. I will follow what you say thanks a lot for your help... plz keep guiding me because I want to heal up as soon as possible for my further life..