I am very in love with my boyfriend and we have been sexually active only with each other. We have been having sex only for around 4-5 months but we have been together for the last 2 years. At first, it was so easy for me to "get wet" during foreplay and within the last few weeks I don't "get wet" and it is hard for us to have sex even with a lubed up condom. It also gets painful after a while from the friction. I don't want to just go buy a bunch of lube, cause I want to fix whatever the problem with my body is. Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated, Ive done my research and I don't want lube to be the only answer. Please help me.

You are stressing yourself out of the sheer pleasure of the sex act and overthinking the pregnancy thing. Stop dwelling on pregnancy and just have fun with sex. Plus, your guy needs to start long before hitting the sheets in order to get you into the right mood and begin turning you on. He has to remember that, for a woman, foreplay begins in her brain hours earlier. If you need ideas on how he can do that, let us know.

You're using condoms! That's awesome. Do you have secondary form of birthcontrol? Specifically hormonal, or The Pill/ring/patch/shot?

There is nothing wrong with using lube. I understand your issue. Anything else going on in your life?

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Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

You're using condoms! That's awesome. Do you have secondary form of birthcontrol? Specifically hormonal, or The Pill/ring/patch/shot? There is nothing wrong with using lube. I understand your issue. Anything else going on in your life?

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I've been on the combo pill for 3 months now. I've been a little stressed lately but usually I can focus on sex and not let myself worry let alone even think about it. I don't have a problem using lube but if I can fix the problem myself naturally it would be a relief.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You are stressing yourself out of the sheer pleasure of the sex act and overthinking the pregnancy thing. Stop dwelling on pregnancy and just have fun with sex. Plus, your guy needs to start long before hitting the sheets in order to get you into the right mood and begin turning you on. He has to remember that, for a woman, foreplay begins in her brain hours earlier. If you need ideas on how he can do that, let us know.

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I have no pregnancy worry. I have a period every month, that isn't a concern. I just want to figure out how to fix my lubrication problem, mainly because it has made sex painful and irritating for my body. I know how to start foreplay but I need some ideas. Me and my boyfriend have school so we usually text but otherthan that any ideas?

So when do you start foreplay? Fifteen minutes before the big moment?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So when do you start foreplay? Fifteen minutes before the big moment?

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Sometimes it ends up that way. I know that's not how it's supposed to happen but we have busy lives and we never plan to have sex, at the beginning of the day. What do you suggest we do differently? Or to do in general?

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Originally Posted by Angel12896

I've been on the combo pill for 3 months now. I've been a little stressed lately but usually I can focus on sex and not let myself worry let alone even think about it. I don't have a problem using lube but if I can fix the problem myself naturally it would be a relief.

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Certain Hormonal birth control pills can cause Vaginal Dryness. If you're not really into it, you could also not be producing the natural lubrication either. Ie if you're stressed about whether you're going to be able to eat tomorrow might weigh heavily on your mind so you don't really get turned on. So when you and your mate go at it, you don't get turned on enough for a good amount of wetness.

I would continue to use the lube as required. I have also noticed with condom use that the rubber tends to soak up or wick away the natural lube. After a period lube is almost required. As I said, what I noticed, you mileage may vary.

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Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

Certain Hormonal birth control pills can cause Vaginal Dryness. If you're not really into it, you could also not be producing the natural lubrication either. Ie if you're stressed about whether or not you're going to be able to eat tomorrow might weigh heavily on your mind so you don't really get turned on. So when you and your mate go at it, you don't get turned on enough for a good amount of wetness.

I would continue to use the lube as required. I have also noticed with condom use that the rubber tends to soak up or wick away the natural lube. After a period of time lube is almost required. As I said, what I noticed, you mileage may vary.

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Thanks

Natural lubrication is controlled by your estrogen. A drop in estrogen level (by various reasons) reduces available moisture. Physiologically this may be the issue, which you may consult your physician for possible check up/solutions.

Other common factors of dryness may be anxiety (worrying about insufficient lube before getting there), allergy/cold medications, douching (and allergy to other chemicals in hygiene products), or simply insufficient arousal (perhaps try planning a sexy date and set time aside for an extended period of foreplay to reach a higher level of arousal before intercourse).

All in all wetness varies from person to person, and may change depending on the state of body or mind. There is not exactly a "normal" level of wetness, the use of a personal lubrication is not uncommon.

The following could also be an issue...

1. Your nervousness, and general worry about your lack of wetness could be causing the problem in itself.
2. Are you relaxing enough? Your partner also has a big part to play in helping you to relax.
3. Unskilled foreplay on your partners part.
4. Other medical issues or medications that you might be taking currently - consult your doctor if you think this could potentially be a side effect of taking the medication.
5. Alcohol, specifically drinking too much, could also be an issue.

Jeremy Parker