Hi I am just married for 7 months, however I hate my husband for not being a guy (he is not impotent). I am 6 months pregnant and when I got married had thousands of dreams he does not fit in even one. I am well educated and have been very independent he is not educated, dumb, and proud of property inherited by father, no self respect and still does not want to work. He cannot take a single decision himself, he asks everything to his brother(younger) and doubts that I like his brother and not him because he is educated but useless though.

I cannot take this, was never even physically or mentally satisfied. I want to end this torture. I decided this in Feb but wanted to give him a chance, he did not change a bit though I told about the problems, I felt worse recently when I understood he has some psychic problem I saw him happy when I was crying or his sister was crying, he took me for medical check and does not show any interest and slept in chair outside, never asked me how was the baby or checked in scan reports. I can't take looking at his face or he touching me.

Why did you marry this man in the first place?

Do the man a favour, and leave him.

He can do much better.

I am from India and here girls do not have choice, they were searching for a guy to get me married as I am 25, I never wanted to be married but somehow I was irritated that I have been the only topic to discuss among my relatives, so got married, when this guy came to see me he acted so nice, I actually asked for 6 months time to get married but these people weren't ready and because I belong to a poor family my dad was'nt capable of giving dowry got me married.

So, you didn't have a choice, or you did have a choice. Which is it.

And when things don't work out, it is the fault of everyone else.

I feel sorry for you that living in the world's largest democratic society, that you feel so trapped, that your very existence depends upon being set up to marry a man you don't love. And you choose to marry.

Equally difficult for me to understand that you chose to have children with him, despite knowing very soon after marriage that he was not someone you loved, or even liked!

I have no idea how you could even divorce him, considering the implications and/or consequences to you.

I am sorry I can not offer any further assistance and guidance. But clearly to me it seems like a mess, and I have no idea how to advise you on your miserable marriage, when you really have no options.

Hey Jake,

I know it sounds stupid, but un a largest democratic country girls still do not have choice. People feel once married they will adjust to live together or fall in love and I do agree that it happens, though in my case it did not. I did not had much time to judge the person I just met him once when they came to see me and whenever asked him about his education and all the other stuff he lied and like I was supposed to believed him while we spoke over phone for I guess 15 days before marriage.

Now when you asking about my pregnancy , I has decided to drop it, but again my relatives even my parents told that people change once the have a kid after marriage and I never saw a change though. I know it would be hard to get a divorce but this pregnancy is the only way I get get out of this hell, as in India during the 7th month of pregnancy girl is sent to their parents house for her first child. If I did not had this pregnancy would have never been able to get out of this hell, which I will in a week.

This marriage is no more for me, might be he still thinks he loves me, I really do not understand that how can you love a person whom you try to portrait as bad in front of others and rather defending your partner who has left her wonderful life behind and made a maid at your place, you try to blame her for being a good person. You just claim that you love me and when you do not even ask once why there has been no conversation between us for months, why am I not letting you touch me? What should I call you?

Is just getting fruits or food and asking to eat or rather forcing to eat called love? I really do not care if I get a divorce or not, but I am not coming back that's fixed.I can work and take care of my baby better than you can.

I hope I did answer few of your questions Jake.

It is interesting that you are an educated, smart, independent woman in the modern world, yet, ancient traditions keep you bound in the old.

What I didn't realize is that one you are at your mother's house, you say you won't go back to your husband, so remaining married or getting divorced, at this time, isn't an issue.

I am happy you will be safe, and probably happier.

I am also happy that, for your husband's sake, he too will probably be happier, knowing that you care for him very little.

Maybe he will be a better father than a husband.

All the best to you in your future.

Thanks Jake,

However I wonder if he really understands why I hate him. No one will even ask if he had food or not if I am not there. Whatever just tired of being a maid.