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-   -   How to deal with the loss of two parents in 4 months (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=666573)

  • Jun 2, 2012, 09:59 PM
    sillyown
    How to deal with the loss of two parents in 4 months
    My father died unexpectedly on jan2. Non of my 4 living sisters (I lost one 6 years ago) called me. I found out on Facebook. My sisters leave me out all the time. It wasn't always that way but after my other sister died, who was their punching board then, I became the one, for whatever reason. The wake and funeral were hard. My mother died on mother's day. I did get a call but the caller was nasty. The house was cleared of the deceased things immediately following each death, before even the wake. I was "invited" to come after my mother's death to take things because then everything unclaimed would go to Goodwill or the trash. I am having a hard enough time with this, and then I found out one of my beloved dogs has lymphoma. I am treating her and hoping for the best. Here's the clincher, my husband is TOTALLY not there for me, and this is the same way he was after my sister's and my father's deaths. And after my father's death I had a cancer scare myself and he was downright nasty to me. I'm lost right now except I have other family, tons of friends and my church and God on my side. But this is tough. Help!
  • Jun 3, 2012, 05:31 AM
    JudyKayTee
    It sounds like you have support from other family, friends, church. I'm puzzled that you are treated in this manner but feel that God is on your side but that's for another Board.

    What is your question? How to deal with the family that treats you like a punching bag? How to get your husband to be more involved in your loss?

    Everyone grieves in a different manner. It sounds like you're overwhelmed by the loss and the harsh treatment by your family - and the emotional distance from your husband. January is very recently, then the loss of your mother, then the illness of your dog. You've been hit hard.

    Have you considered talking to a professional? You can't make people like you/love you/accept you but you CAN learn how to deal with their rejection and bad treatment.

    I'm sorry for your loss and your emotional turmoil.

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