Hello. I am a 38 year old female that's pregnant & due in 2 weeks. I'm not keeping this baby,she's going to an adoptive family. It was not planned, not wanted, & not expected. But rather than abort, she's going to a family that wants her. I have also been a meth user on & off for about the last 10 years. I don't want to be addicted to anything & I wished so badly I didn't use. I can't seem to help it though, I can't turn away & say no & not use when it's near. It's almost always brought in the house because I'm not the only addict. I have stopped cold turkey in the past,(not by my own choice tho) I've weaned myself from it, I've even taken diet pills that were made with ephedrine to get off it & I HATE the way I feel not using. I get very mean, I weep all the time, I get depressed, feel hopeless & unmotivated. I have no desire to do a dang thing but stay in bed for days & days & be miserable. I love how I feel using, I have so much energy, I'm happy, I want to do anything that needs to be done, but most of all, I feel normal & really GOOD about life.
What I am doing is wrong. I know that. It's hard for me to care about this baby,because I didn't plan on having it. I didn't make this out of love & I thought I was starting to get menopause & just didn't consider getting pregnant. Careless on my part,I know. I can't believe it still,that this is happening to me. I'm scared to go into labor, I don't want to stop using because of how terrible I'll feel & I want to have a normal delivery & be done with it all. But what do I do to feel good when I stop using to have this kid? I don't know what to do, don't know how to detox & still feel at least somewhat normal & not sad & lethargic while I'm waiting for this kid to be born. I haven't told the doctor or anyone else about this because I'm afraid they will toss me in jail after the delivery. Is there a supplement to take that can help? Anything? I don't seek out support groups because I don't enjoy being around people outside my household. I don't care to talk & discuss period.
If anyone can please give me some advice, I would appreciate it VERY much. I don't know what to do. I wouldn't be here telling anyone this because it is wrong & I feel like a scab lowlife for using while pregnant & would never let a soul know it, but I need help badly. I wish I was who I used to be before I ever knew what meth even was. I really hate myself for being so weak willed & disgusting.

If you are saying that most of the time during your pregnancy you were using drugs, the baby is already hooked and if you remember going "cold turkey" this poor baby will be doing the same thing, Let the doctors at labor know this, since the baby will require very special care when born. Plus unknown effects on the child's development.

You know what you are, and want that life style so you deserve all it brings, this poor baby does not.

For about a few weeks till this baby is born care about someone else then yourself.

Nothing else I can say now, would be allowed to stay printed.

That's great... you're destroying your life... fine. To do this to a child? I can't tell you what I really want to say.

What, exactly, do you want us to help you with? You're so scared of someone finding out that you don't give a sh*t about the kids life? Scared you might go to jail if someone finds out? Honestly, you should be in jail.

I'm not keeping this baby,she's going to an adoptive family. It was not planned, not wanted, & not expected. But rather than abort, she's going to a family that wants her.

And somehow that makes it OK?

I'm not sure I know what you want help with.
You want to have a normal delivery, while depriving this innocent child of a normal life?
I just don't know to say here other than, during the last two weeks of your pregnancy have enough care for the child that you have already damaged not to do any more harm.

And you need to let the hospital staff know you are a meth addict.

Here's some reading for you if you are interested.
Long-term Side Effects Of Babies Addicted To Meth | LIVESTRONG.COM

Addiction is a terrible disease. Not all addicts want to, or expect to, become pregnant.

I am not going to cut you down here, but rather commend you for knowing and understanding you have a problem and choose to give your unborn child a better life than what you can provide.

You are not a "scab lowlife," but rather a woman with a problem, and it's admirable that you can admit that.

The most important thing is for you to be totally and completely honest with your OB/GYN as well as the delivering pediatrician so that they are capable of caring for this baby when the withdrawals begin. They will need to know exactly what you are addicted to and what you take so that they can provide medication to the baby to lessen the withdrawal symptoms that the baby might have.

I applaud you for recognizing that you have a problem and that you are unable to care for this child at this point in your life. There are many women who would sweep this under the rug and the child goes uncared for. You are a very brave woman!

Has anyone that has bothered to answer besides J 9 ever had an addiction? If so, do you remember anything about your darkest days of using. Your replies are judgemental and unhelpful and your replies bother me much more than that of the original poster.

Now, my advice to the poster... be honest with your medical team so that you and the baby can get the care you need during and after the delivery.

I understand how you feel and I amglad that you are making the most unslefish act a person can make by placing this baby in a better environment. You are not a horrible person. You are an addict.

I have never had an addiction but have dealt people who have and perhaps should have been a little more sensitive.
What I am is mother and grandmother. And while I commend her for realizing that this child needs to be in a different place, I fail to see any concern for the child at this point or at any point during the pregnancy.

To the OP, please take the advice to inform your medical team. They will need to know and will soon after birth figure out that something is not right, they will need to know what it is.

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Originally Posted by EverK

Has anyone that has bothered to answer besides J 9 ever had an addiction? If so, do you remember anything about your darkest days of using. Your replies are judgemental and unhelpful and your replies bother me much more than that of the original poster.

Now, my advice to the poster....be honest with your medical team so that you and the baby can get the care you need during and after the delivery.

I understand how you feel and I amglad that you are making the most unslefish act a person can make by placing this baby in a better environment. You are not a horrible person. You are an addict.

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J9 had an addiction? Is that what you understood from her post? Well, you're wrong.

Self-righteous indignation from someone who takes part in supplying "lean" urine so a user can pass testing. Amazing. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/addict...on-654973.html

I never said j 9 had an addiction nor assumed it. I did not mean for it to come across that way.
And as far as what someone does with my clean urine is their business... as mine was clean... obviously... my issue on that was they do not test for male vs female and are not always precise with procedure not promoting the risky aspect of substitutions of urine.
However,I simply meant j 9 seemed more helpful instead of bashing a woman who is clearly going through a rough time and asking for help. Judgement does not help an addict.
And I reitterate to the original poster. Please your medical team aware. They can help and need to know.
I am a nurse, the dr I now work for is in recovery and I work with addicts daily, as I have for many years. I see their struggles... I would never assume someone an addict but I would never judge them either.

Sorry, that's how I read this: "Has anyone that has bothered to answer besides J 9 ever had an addiction?"

Wow - you are a Nurse, work for a Physician and supply clean urine to addicts so they can pass their drug tests?

J9 is also a Nurse. Isn't this against Ethics? This is one of those posts where the IP is important. I spent too many years working for the Feds!

I may have "bashed" the OP but you know what? The adoption is all she's doing for the kid... right now, she's putting drugs into that poor babies system... and how, exactly, is this going to affect that baby? Certainly not in a positive way. Clearly, she only cares about herself and not the life she is bringing in to this world.

And really... a nurse that supplies clean urine to addicts for the purpose of passing tests... telling me I'm wrong for being harsh. If it wasn't so utterly ridiculous, I would be laughing about it.

Exactly, I'm on the kid's side and I hope she does well.
I'm sure I would have felt differently if I had the feeling from the post that she had enough concern for the child to have at least tried to stop during her pregnancy.

As for those who think they can assume that others have no first hand knowledge of addiction, I beg to differ, you know nothing of my life.
I perhaps would still have two members of my family now had it not been for enablers.

I haven't seen a word about the father of the baby. I'm hung up on the thinking that OP wants to have a "normal delivery." This apparently will be the only "normal" part of her life - and she can't stop using for 2 weeks to achieve it.

Normal delivery for her. Not-so-normal for the "kid." She thinks the Doctors haven't noticed she's an addict. I suspect they have.

Disgusting - sorry if I'm harsh... but this is disgusting. What on earth did the OP THINK people were going to day?

Yes, addiction is a terrible thing, people enable, "you" feel better when "you" use, I get all of that. I'd "get" it a lot better if OP did SOMETHING to help herself.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by EverK

I am a nurse, the dr i now work for is in recovery and I work with addicts daily, as I have for many years. I see their struggles...I would never assume someone an addict but I would never judge them either.

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You're a nurse AND you supply clean urine? You do realize that this is cause to lose your license don't you?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by EverK

I never said j 9 had an addiction nor assumed it. I did not mean for it to come across that way.
And as far as what someone does with my clean urine is their business...as mine was clean...obviously....my issue on that was they do not test for male vs female and are not always precise with procedure not promoting the risky aspect of substitutions of urine.
however,i simply meant j 9 seemed more helpful instead of bashing a woman who is clearly going through a rough time and asking for help. Judgement does not help an addict.
and I reitterate to the original poster. Please your medical team aware. They can help and need to know.
I am a nurse, the dr i now work for is in recovery and I work with addicts daily, as I have for many years. I see their struggles...I would never assume someone an addict but I would never judge them either.

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What some does with your urine is a crime that makes you a part of it, and/or is a violation of your medical code. I will be glad when someone like you loses their license since violation of laws and disregard for rules is not being nice and helping anyone

In NY it's a felony. Surely there is some way to find out where OP is. And what computer she's using.

This is rhetorical. No answer necessary.

I hate to say it, because I believe every life deserves a chance, but I have to say, my gut instinct is that this unborn child would have been better off being aborted. Being born addicted to meth? That's not something I'd wish on my worst enemy, and it will be a life long battle.

The damage the OP has done to this child... I can't post. If I do, I'll end up being banned.

I get it. Meth is highly addictive. Meth users have around a 22 % chance of staying clean when they chose to get off meth (yes, I can show where I got those stats, and not on the internet). It's a highly addictive drug. It's a killer. The fact that the OP has lived as long as she has, as a meth user, is shocking. She should already be a dead ex-meth user (the average meth user lives to around 35 years of age, again, I can show the stats, not found on the internet, once I get a new scanner).

The only thing I can say is that the OP is sick. She won't be around much longer, she's a meth addict. Meth kills.

The only one I'm concerned about now is this poor baby. I still have to say, abortion would have been the more humane option. Meth users are selfish, only because of the drug. They can't stop. They don't care about anything other then the next high. Death is actually a blessing for people like the OP. Meth destroys you. It consumes you.

Before anyone asks, no, I'm not a meth user, not even a former meth user. I've never touched the stuff, but I've lost 2 people in my life that did use meth. Because of them, I researched the crap out meth, and help with dealing with this addiction. Not much works. Once you use meth, it's likely that you'll die at a very young age using meth.

Poor baby. :(