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-   -   My wife's relation before marriage? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=666485)

  • Jun 2, 2012, 04:41 PM
    kriscool927
    My wife's relation before marriage?
    I recently got married about 2 months back and It was an arranged marriage. I recently found that, she was in relationship with some guy for 2 years and they got broke up before our marriage. I read and each every email conversation between them and came to know how deeply and madly loved each other.

    From past few days, I'm trying to ask her indirectly by putting so many questions. But she not saying single word about that relation and she keeps on saying so many lies. Since past is past and this was happened before I came into her life, I want to ignore that and just go as normal.

    But only thing paining me a lot it she should have told this at least after our marriage about it and I could have accepted it. I don't know whether to ask her directly and I don't know whether I can "TRUST" her any more. Could someone please advice me?
  • Jun 25, 2012, 03:27 PM
    talaniman
    You have been married but a few months and you are stressing this marriage with fears, and insecurities. She has to trust and know you, so stop the questions and just show her how great, fun, and exciting life with you is, and let her just come to you in her own time as this is an extremely personal, and hard thing to discuss.

    That's what you do instead of press her for hard details of the past. Let it go guy, and establish the trust, not pressure some one that clearly has her own insecurities and fears about YOU.

    That's what I would do, give patience and love until I had understanding, and not throw foolish crap in the game about the past she had before you.

    To be HONEST my friend, its NONE of your business. If you cannot overcome this obsession over the past, you have no future. Let this thinking go, and build from here on.
  • Jun 25, 2012, 04:01 PM
    slapshot_oi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kriscool927 View Post
    I recently got married about 2 months back and It was an arranged marriage...I don't know whether to ask her directly and I don't know whether I can "TRUST" her any more. Could someone please advice me?

    You have a unique situation because your marriage arranged. I'm reticent to give you advice because it will be subjective and likely judgmental.

    The only thing I can tell you is that you shouldn't have read those e-mails for your own sake. It's causing you pain from knowing this information. Ignorance is bliss.

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