I have a 26 year old daughter married to a loser who doesn't work and has been in and out of prison. She was excelling in everything just one year ago and we were so proud of her, but then he got of prison and she took him back and now they are evicted and sold all of her very nice things. We took them both in but kicked him out when he wouldn't work. She is pregnant, chases her homeless husband all over town, sneaks him into the house, disobeys house rules, lies, etc. I am at a loss, but hate to give up on her and kick her out too on the streets. Neither work, but she is going to school trying to get her degree. Help, any suggestions.

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Originally Posted by zooworld

I have a 26 year old daughter married to a loser who doesn't work and has been in and out of prison. She was excelling in everything just one year ago and we were so proud of her, but then he got of prison and she took him back and now they are evicted and sold all of her very nice things. We took them both in but kicked him out when he wouldn't work. She is pregnant, chases her homeless husband all over town, sneaks him into the house, disobeys house rules, lies, etc. I am at a loss, but hate to give up on her and kick her out too on the streets. Neither work, but she is going to school trying to get her degree. Help, any suggestions.

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Yes, you're a marshmallow. Not because of your son in law, but because of your daughter.

You harp on him because he's not working, but praise her unemployed butt, just because she's "trying" to get her degree. Those that can, do. Those that can't, try.

You can't see the forest for the trees. Your daughter is the issue here. She chose this loser, she's not working, and she's using you even more than he did. He was just her choice of husband. Why is she still living in your home? Kick her arse out too! She's an adult, she made her choice, and continue to make that choice, so let her sink, or swim. She's worse than he is in my opinion.

The issue here isn't the guy your daughter married. It's your daughter! He doesn't have any relationship with you, so why are you surprised at his actions, and not shocked at what your daughter is doing?

While my daughters are not quite this age yet, I believe every parent needs to have this kind of situation in the back of their heads. The really tough part about this is that your daughter is an adult... making adult decisions. He doesn't belong to you and you have every right to remove him from your life in every way you can... but she is your daughter and I do not doubt your love for her. SOMETIMES, they need to be cut free to make their own very poor decisions... and maybe over time she will come around and realize that. Being a parent means having the possibility of your child not turning out how you want them to. Your rules obviously mean nothing to her, so how much longer are you going to provide for her to act this way. Make it clear to her that she will always be loved and welcomed back.. but love does not always mean you will allow her to do anything.

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Originally Posted by zooworld

I have a 26 year old daughter married to a loser who doesn't work and has been in and out of prison. She was excelling in everything just one year ago and we were so proud of her, but then he got of prison and she took him back and now they are evicted and sold all of her very nice things. We took them both in but kicked him out when he wouldn't work. She is pregnant, chases her homeless husband all over town, sneaks him into the house, disobeys house rules, lies, etc. I am at a loss, but hate to give up on her and kick her out too on the streets. Neither work, but she is going to school trying to get her degree. Help, any suggestions.

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Alty - very well said!