Me and my boyfriend are separated. I reconnected with a long time friend I knew for 6 years and I knew my boyfriend for 2 yrs. However me and the friend had sex. Wouldn't say cheating because me and my boyfriend aren't together and wasn't together when it happen. Well I strongly grew lustful. I don't want call it love because I don't think it is. But me and my boyfriend are trying to work things out cause I know I love him. Its just I don't know should I tell him about it. When we get intimate I think about the other guy. I don't know if I'm feeling guilty or having regrets.

I would come clean, you owe it to him, but what are you doing going back to him, it didn't work out the first time, why should it now?

He want to wrk things out and we didn't end it bad I'm still being skeptical being back together but I just don't know.. I broke it off with him because he was controlling and very jealous I couldn't do my hair often or make up get dress up with out him saying something negative.when I'm with my girlfriends he want to be there because he said when girls get together they just want to be arounds guys... but it been 2months since we been apart he says he change
But I'm not trying to rush back into the relationship

Be careful, because people don't just fix trust issues easily. He may change for the time being, but he might come back around to his old self. It's your life, but like I said, it didn't work out the first time, what makes you think it will now.

Best of luck.

I think you are better off single myself because saying he will change didn't include your escapade with the other guy. I don't think knowing what you are doing will help that change, or the relationship.

I wouldn't be in a hurry either if I had a friend with benefits on the side.

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Originally Posted by 1025court

He want to wrk things out and we didnt end it bad im still being skeptical being back together but i just dnt knw..i broke it off with him because he was controlling and very jealous i couldnt do my hair often or make up get dress up with out him saying something negative.when im with my girlfriends he want to be there because he said when girls get together they just want to be arounds guys...but it been 2months since we been apart he says he change but im not trying to rush back into the relationship

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I am currentlty helping my best friend who is going through a similar situation to you. I hope her story might be able to help you.

She had been in a relationship with a guy for about two years, but they had repeatidly broken up and got back together approximately 4 or 5 times. He treated her in exactly the same way as your boyfriend has treated you in the past, and trust me he will do it again, he will not change.
After the last breakup with this guy she went into a rebound relationship with a good friend of hers (also a good friend of mine). He is such a great guy and was faithful and loving to her, he was in love with her, but what he didn't know was that she was just using him for sex. They were together for three months but she finally decided that she had forgiven her ex and wanted him back. She broke my friend's heart, thus she lost a good friend and the best thing that ever happened to her.
Less than two weeks after breaking up with my friend she secretely started to see her ex again. They started having sex again, but every time she had sex with the ex she kept thinking about my friend. As soon as this started to happen she told me about it and we talked. Our discussion was very long but it helped her to figure out a lot.
The main things she realised were:
1) She didn't love her ex, but lust and infatuation kept drawing her to him, and she never got over him because she never knew how to get over him.
2) She was immature about relationships and she didn't know what she wanted from one.
3) She was actually in love with my friend, but her infatuation with her ex meant she didn't realise it.

I do not think you should have any sort of relationship with this boyfriend. The fact you have broken up with him in the past shows that he is no good for you; he also sounds very insecure and controlling, and these people never change their ways. I think you need to think about what you want from a relationship; it should never be about sex.

Were you having a relationship with the old friends or was it just a one night stand?

In what way do you think about your old friend when you get intimate? Do you think about good times you had together? Do you imagine your old friend having sex with you? If so it sounds like you are in love with him.

Overall, I recommend that you completely forget about your ex and end it for good this time, he will only cause hurt to you if you continue your relationship with him. You also need to learn to be single and control your sexual urges, lust will prevent you from finding a healthy relationship because you will only be thinking about sex.

I hope this is helpful to you.

I wish you all the best :)