When setting up a fund for a widow , do u have friends and family send money directly to the bank or to the house? How do u announce that?

You can do either, if you have a fund and set up a special bank account, you supply that info for money to be sent to it. But that has to be arranged with the bank to allow it. Or it may be sent to the funeral home.

I know of one family the money was sent to the home, a niece who was helping with the family, helped herself to the money since it was just being sent to their home. I am sure this will not happen there, it all depends on how you want it to work.