Ask Me Help Desk - Abusive teenager

I have a 13 year stepson who is abusive to my two small childern. I have spoke my husband about this situation and he doenst seem to want to do anything about the situation. I don't trust or believe anything that my stepson says. He has been pushing and hitting my kids and they come up to me to tell me, but since I haven't witness the incedent its hard for me to accuse him of it. I think he knows this to and takes advantage of that. When my kids come up to me to tell me the are in tears and crying telling me what he did, so when I go to ask him he starts by saying "I didnt do anything it was an accident". Then my kids start to cry and tell me he is lying. The problem is that this is happening too many times, I caught him the act a couple of days ago and he tried to lie about it even when I say him doing it. I just don't know what to do anymore. This is effecting my marriage with my husband I feel like I have to leave and keep my kids safe because my husband isn't taking any action of his own. What should I do?? HELP!

It sounds like everyone is getting lost in a fog of he said-she said and "he did this-no I didn't."

What is the day like for the children? Is it summer vacation now? Who is at home with them during the day and evening? Are they all living together and are left to their own devices with little or no adult supervision? Let's set the scene first.

Quote:

Originally Posted by michelle77

I have a 13 year stepson who is abusive to my two small childern. I have spoke my husband about this situation and he doenst seem to want to do anything about the situation. I dont trust or believe anything that my stepson says. He has been pushing and hitting my kids and they come up to me to tell me, but since I havent witness the incedent its hard for me to accuse him of it. I think he knows this to and takes advantage of that. When my kids come up to me to tell me the are in tears and crying telling me what he did, so when I go to ask him he starts by saying "I didnt do anything it was an accident". Then my kids start to cry and tell me he is lieing. The problem is that this is happening too many times, I caught him the act a couple of days ago and he tried to lie about it even when I say him doing it. I just dont know what to do anymore. This is effecting my marriage with my husband I feel like I have to leave and keep my kids safe becuase my husband isnt taking any action of his own. What should I do??? HELP!

Please get him into counseling because he obviously was bullied when he was younger and now it is showing up.

All good answers so far.
But I would also suggest you stop referring to him as an outsider. 'he has been pushing and hitting MY kids'
Why do you not say 'his brothers/sisters' Do you feel he is not your child as well? Do you communicate this to him? Do you hate him?

All of these things a 13 year old can feel.

Have you been a parent to him? Discipline, guidance, love, etc?