Ask Me Help Desk - Do I wait?

Recently my girlfriend and I broke up because she felt she wasn't giving our relationship her all. We have been best friends for about two years now, and she has apparently liked me for most/almost all of the friendship. When she told me it was shortly often she broke up with her ex because he was trying to control her and she just didn't want that. Immediately after she told me I told her I felt the same and about three to four days later we were dating.

Everything was going great, she always seemed so happy and would always say that she was so glad that we were finally together. After about three weeks of being together I get a text saying that we need to talk, so I call her and she doesn't answer. About two minutes later I got a three page text from her saying that she is sorry for taking the cowards way out by texting me because she knows that if she tries over the phone or in person she won't be able to because she doesn't want to see me in pain. She goes on to say that she isn't doing this for another guy and that she just wants some time to be single. I reply and tell her that I understand and respect her decision but that I am hurt that she couldn't do it any other way, she replies sorry with a sad face.

Shortly after my best friend finds out (also a close friend with her) and texts me to see how I am doing... So I told him. The next day I get a text from her (she knows how I am already, she asked my best friend and he sent some of texts that were kind of depressing), we start talking and she tells me that she misses me and that this is hard but she really needs this. She also tells me that if she doesn't enjoy some time being single that she will end up resenting our relationship. I told her that it was her choice with what she wants to do and that I'm going to respect her decision and that I want her to be ready and not take me because she feels bad. She replies with a sad face and saying that for now single is what she needs but when she is ready I will be the first to know with a heart at the end.

I couldn't help myself and replied with I love you, she replied that she loved me too. Unfortunately our conversation ended shortly after that and we haven't really talked since. We saw each other today and basically just said hi and nothing more. At this point I'm not really sure what to do... Do I try to talk to her or do I just wait for her to initiate conversation with me? Will she really come back?

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaniHaveTacos

Recently my girlfriend and I broke up because she felt she wasn't giving our relationship her all. We have been bestfriends for about two years now, and she has apparently liked me for most/almost all of the friendship. When she told me it was shortly often she broke up with her ex because he was tring to contole her and she just didn't want that. Immediately after she told me I told her I felt the same and about three to four days later we were dating. Everything was going great, she always seemed so happy and would always say that she was so glad that we were finally together. After about three weeks of being together I get a text saying that we need to talk, so I call her and she doesn't answer. About two minutes later I got a three page text from her saying that she is sorry for thanking the quote way out by texting me because she knows that if she tries over the phone or in person she won't be able to because she doesn't want to see me in pain. She goes on to say that she isn't doing this for another guy and that she just wants some time to be single. I reply and tell her that I understand and respect her decision but that I am hurt that she couldn't do it any other way, she replies sorry with a sad face. Shortly after my bestfriend finds out (also a close friend with her) and texts me to see how I am doing ... So I told him. The next day I get a text from her (she knows how I am already, she asked my bestfriend and he sent some of texts that were kinda depressing), we start talking and she tells me that she misses me and that this is hard but she really needs this. She also tells me that if she doesn't enjoy some time being single that she will end up resenting our relationship. I told her that it was her choice with what she wants to do and that I'm going to respect her decission and that I want her to be ready and not take me because she feels bad. She replies with a sad face and saying that for now single is what she needs but when she is ready I will be the first to know with a heart at the end. I couldn't help my self and replied with I love you, she replied that she loved me too. Unfortunatly our conversation ended shortly after that and we haven't really talked since. We saw each other today and basically just said hi and nothing more. At this point I'm not really sure what to do ... Do I try to talk to her or do I just wait for her to initiate conversation with me? Will she really come back?

I hear you dude. I don't know what is going on in this girl's head but I think you should just get over her. She's been stringing you along for two years as a "friend," which I think is a bit abusive of her power over your feelings. She has already ended the relationship and once ended relationships are tough to mend. I think you will have an easier time finding a healthy relationship if you are single and overcome your need to be the good guy.

I also think that you sprung into your relationship with her too soon so you are basically her rebound and that is not a good foundation for a relationship.

You sound like a great guy, a catch. Good luck to you!

You move on with your life and enjoy yourself, do your thing and have a blast. Deal with whatever she decides to do about herself later, or never. No you don't wait for her and pass up your own options and opportunities for yourself.

She won't, and will just be sorry she hurt you if she does happen to have fun. You have to realize she wasn't ready for love when you got her, she just needed a reason to move beyond her break up, and you were perfect.

Come on guy you were friends before she dated you so you must have seen this pattern of moving on quickly before from her.