Ask Me Help Desk - Contacting my birth-dad

My name is Amanda, I am 19. I was born to my mom and not wanted. She nearly killed me as a baby. Then, I got adopted by my grandma. My mother had two other babies that died "mysterious" deaths. I grew up with my grandma and grandpa. They had a very ugly divorce. I have always longed to meet my birth father. My birth mother says "he didn't want me" and "he didnt believe you were his child." But, she also has a history of lying constantly. I have done the homework and found out where my birth father lives. How should I approach a situation like this? Is he going to accept me? And if he does can I get a DNA test done anyway? Please help. I am so nervous about this. Thank you for reading.

Hi My Name Is Tiffany. I Know Exactly How You Feel. I Never Knew My Birth Dad Either. Recently I Talked To My Grandmother About Who He Was And To My Surprise She New So Much About Him. I Always Felt That Because He Never Looked For Me That He Just Didn't Want To Get To Now Me. Turns Out I Was Wrong. Just Today I Finally Spoke To My Dad And I Had So Much I Wanted To Say But My Mind Went Blank. It's a Crazy Feeling But I Have A lot Of Love For Him Even Though I Never New Him. You Probably Feel That Same Way About Your Dad.

Just Start By Telling Him How You Found Him And Why. I Think There Is A Good Chance That He Will Be Just As Nervous Has You Are. Find Out As Much As You Can About Him Before You Contact Him, But Don't Judge Him. This Way You Will Know What You Are Getting Into Before You Meet Him. He May Have A Totally Different Side Of The Stories You Have Been Told.

I Am So Excited To Continue To Develop A Relationship With My Father. Its Never To Late. No Matter How Old You Are You Will Always Need Or Want Your Parents. I Wish You Good Luck.

I am 21 yrs old.. I haven't seen my dad since I was 5 yrs old. I have been told he's dead then popl know where he is... I don't know what to do... miss him so much. I don't know how to deal with any of it. My mom lies boiut him to everyone of us 4 kids... :''( no one will listen. No one will help. I've tried calling every t clifford thomas clifford thomas g clifford aaaaaalllllll of them anbbd no luck at all. I need help :'( I have had no contact at all since I was 5 and I'm 21 I can't do this anymore. My family blames me for ghim doing drugs. I was only 5 :'( [email protected]

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Originally Posted by Adnama8891

How should I approach a situation like this? Is he going to accept me? And if he does can I get a DNA test done anyway?

How should you approach it? Carefully. He may be your biological father and he may not. He may also have a family of his own.

Is he going to accept me? There is no one universal answer to that. He may or he may not.

Your mother sounds like a piece of work (no offense, that's her... not you). You have to remember that he choose to have a relationship with this woman and sleep with her. That speaks volumes about him. There is a very good chance that he has some serious issues too.

When I first went in search of my biological father, I was terrified of being rejected by him. Thankfully, I was not... but you must fully realize that possibility exists and be able to deal with it emotionally. I would suggest starting to see a therapist now so that you have some professional support in place if things don't go so well.

Good luck.