Ask Me Help Desk - Out of a heartbreak and probably into another. Help, I'm gay!

Well it's been one year and I can't get over this guy. I was 13 back then and he was fourteen. Everything was so perfect. We’d hang out a lot after school and play some video game. The thing is he was always there for me. To protect me and I felt happy with him. Growing up gay is hard. The moment I found out that I love him I freaked but I felt so alive. I'd never let him go and always look out for him. When he's absent from class I'd take down notes and inform him. I really felt like I have found my soul mate. Someone I'd sacrifice for to be with.

We went out once, ate some ice-cream, and played games. We talked and laughed a lot like the world was ours. Just him and me. He even introduces me to his parents then ate dinner with them. I got home late but my mums scolding isn’t strong enough to remove me to what I was feeling. I was enchanted.

Then suddenly I dropped the bomb. I told him about my feelings and he went quiet for a while then told me that it was Ok. That we would still be friends no matter what. I loved him for that.

Later on I found out the hard way that he was bad mouthing me. That he gets turned off by my gayness. I broke down after that. I started avoiding him.

For one year I tried to move on. I had 2 heartbreaks after him. But each reminded me on how I failed on him. Every break led to him. How I wasn’t good enough.

I hate to say this but he has the most beautiful eyes. So melting and cute at the same time. He hugged me one by the stairs and we had our own secret handshakes. There are times we would run off just to be together, even for a minute or 2.

What I’m saying is that it was so perfect that I can’t accept the he can’t love me the way I did for him. That it was too good to end.

We don’t talk anymore. Like we’ve never been close. It kills me. I want to be with him and I can’t move on. HELP ME.

I found out I was gay last year. I had my heart broken by my strait best friend but we're over now.

Recently I became best friends with a guy who has a girlfriend. I respect their relationship. A while back when they weren't dating I liked him then I told his going to be girlfriend (who was supposed to be my best friend) about it. Then she told me to back off because they are dating.

I got over him... but now we became friends and I told him I am gay. He told me he wouldn't hate me because he looks at me as someone nice. We grew closer. Then he told me that because I'm gay I am going to be alone forever. It hurts but it is his vision of being straight.

There's this time when I group messaged my friends telling them that I didn't want to be alone and I want to fall in love and grow old with somebody. He replied saying "Ok you win, you won't be alone. Someone will be out there for you''. It made my heart melt that he actually cares.

So I'm growing feelings for him. Not strong but its growing. If he makes me feel safe (because I have security issues) one more time I’ll really fall for him.

He still has a girlfriend and that's. I love him and we're growing closer. I don't know what to do with the feelings for him. HELP ME.

I'm turning 15 this year. Time is running out. I want someone to love me while I'm this young. It’s kind of like my virtue.

So you are gay and in love with a guy? You said you found out you were gay last year, how did you find out?
I think you are a young girl who does not know who or what she is, and is in love with the idea of being in love.
He has a girl friend. Leave him alone.

All I'm going to say about this, is that your almost 15. You're still young and still going to be young for a LONG TIME. I'm 19, and I'm STILL YOUNG, you've got a lifetime ahead of you, slow down a bit.

Until you stop confusing guys being nice to you, with gay feelings you will never be happy

He is straight, he wants to be your "friend" not your lover.

How about asking out and dating other gay guys and finding someone that may be interested

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

So you are gay and in love with a guy? You said you found out you were gay last year, how did you find out?
I think you are a young girl who does not know who or what she is, and is in love with the idea of being in love.
He has a girl friend. leave him alone.

Hey I'm a dude :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

All I'm going to say about this, is that your almost 15. You're still young and still going to be young for a LONG TIME. I'm 19, and I'm STILL YOUNG, you've got a lifetime ahead of you, slow down a bit.

Sorry for being shallow minded
-.- hehe thanks! I'll keep that in mind. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Until you stop confusing guys being nice to you, with gay feelings you will never be happy

He is straight, he wants to be your "friend" not your lover.

How about asking out and dating other gay guys and finding someone that may be interested

Ahw. :)thanks.

Most gays here in the philippines are mostly in closet or totally out(most tend to look lyk grls). I find it funny because most of us tend to fall for straight guys that half of our gay population wnt consider looking like a straight. If there are straight-looking gays (like me. I'm proud I'm male and never resented it.) we look for gays who are straight-looking too..
Which makes straight gays more indemand. :)) its like a paradox. Most gays in my skul act like girls -__- I admire them for being that "out", but I don't find it attractive even for the gay eyes. Im a Christian by the way :)

Sorry I though you were a girl.
At any rate, the guy has a girl friend so that means hands off to you. You don't do anything with those feelings. Stop spending time with him. Seems like you have latched on to someone who treats you nice and are in love with the idea of being in a relationship.

No matter what kind of relationship you have, chances are, you'll go through many before you find a suitable partner. Age 14 does not give you enough life experience after falling in love for the first time, to realize that you will, again one day, love again.

Actually, it really doesn't matter your age. Many have been devastated by a relationship breaking up, and most will move on, and love again, whether the breakup was mutual or not.

You were brave to be honest; to lay your feelings out there, was a great risk, and unfortunately the feelings were not returned, and never will be.

"Getting over it", simplifies the fact, that there is work to be done, to allow yourself time to heal. Reflection, changes, resolve, etc. It doesn't happen overnight, and I agree that growing up, and being the age you are, and gay on top of that, makes it that much more difficult.

See if there aren't any support groups for gay teens in your area. It is important for you to know that you are not alone, and to be around people who can encourage you, and help you through this.

I wish I could say this is going to be easy, but it isn't. A good start though is that you know what you thought you had, and you realizing that it never was.

No need to force things my friend and heart break and rejection are the risks you take in love. I do suggest instead of being so ready to give your heart away to just any one, you develop something with some one that's gay as you are or bi, because at your age its important to have understanding from a partner and not just friendship from some one that cannot understand your sexual identity.

Sadly, gay or straight we cannot always find the love and romance we want, and we can force thing too much and be disappointed after investing time and feelings on a losing proposition, so some patience on your part will be needed, and more reasonable expectations when you are attracted to some one.

Relax, it will come in its own time, so enjoy your friendships. Never know who knows some one they can introduce you too. Just stay away from couples, that's a dead end street, and sexual preference is not the issue. Third wheels and secret love is no fun.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake2008

No matter what kind of relationship you have, chances are, you'll go through many before you find a suitable partner. Age 14 does not give you enough life experience after falling in love for the first time, to realize that you will, again one day, love again.

Actually, it really doesn't matter your age. Many have been devastated by a relationship breaking up, and most will move on, and love again, whether the breakup was mutual or not.

You were brave to be honest; to lay your feelings out there, was a great risk, and unfortunately the feelings were not returned, and never will be.

"Getting over it", simplifies the fact, that there is work to be done, to allow yourself time to heal. Reflection, changes, resolve, etc. It doesn't happen overnight, and I agree that growing up, and being the age you are, and gay on top of that, makes it that much more difficult.

See if there aren't any support groups for gay teens in your area. It is important for you to know that you are not alone, and to be around people who can encourage you, and help you through this.

I wish I could say this is going to be easy, but it isn't. A good start though is that you know what you thought you had, and you realizing that it never was.

Ahw.. thank you.. you have such amazing words. :) I'll be stronger.

Thank you everyone. :)