I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a yr. In the first maybe 3 months we would have sex all the time. He Always wanted it. I have to say he is not a very experienced guy. I made the mistake of telling him that & joking around & telling him he was small down there. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that now he doesn't want to have sex anymore. We hardly ever do it anymore. I feel horrible :( I find myself always asking for it. He has a problem getting an errection. I'm at my wits end. He's a great guy that really loves me but I am so frusterated. I also just found some porn in his phone. Please can someone tell me what to do in this situation.

How old are you both?

Let me see, not experienced guy, you tell him he is small, and not trouble with erections and he is looking at porn which is not like real people or life and he will compare his self to them.

Why did you not just shoot him to get him out of his misery.

You can't love him since talking and treating someone you love like that would be the most harsh thing you can do.

Short of leave him and hope he finds a girl who cares ?
Get him and you into therapy, reassure him that he is at least normal or average size.

And don't worry if it even takes a couple years to get over this, since you caused it.

I am 35 he is 38. I truly appreciate your responses

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Originally Posted by Synnen

How old are you both?

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I am 35 he is 38.

Well he now feels self conscious about his penis size and perhaps his performance. Sometimes people aren't very good at sex and a perhaps he never learned how to please a woman. If he's been with many woman maybe they just gave him oral and he just did the deed without returning the favor on th woman. Taking a sex class or seeing a sex therapist might help but perhaps you two aren't a good match. Not having sex in a relationship is a serious issue. Without it it's just a friendship that doesn't have the needed intimacy. I hope it turns around for both of you. A man can't change his penis size but he can improve his tongue action and techniques... likewise you could find out what turns him on and do it.mgood luck!

OP, why on earth would you make fun of his penis size? Can you really blame the guy for not wanting you? Who does that? People should make their partners feel special and safe in a relationship. Not pick on their flaws.

You're in your thirties? I know twenty years olds with more class than that.

Yeah, quite frankly that was a stupid thing to say/do.
You should try your hardest to reverse it. Even if that means randomly pleasuring him and acting like you're super duper into it and then complimenting him.
You should always express how you feel about sex, but you should do so gently.

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Originally Posted by sarahscarlett

Yeah, quite frankly that was a stupid thing to say/do.
You should try your hardest to reverse it. Even if that means randomly pleasuring him and acting like you're super duper into it and then complimenting him.
You should always express how you feel about sex, but you should do so gently.

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The problem is some things, once said, can never be taken back; no matter how much we want to. This is one such think. It is a recoverable situation, there is no doubt about that, but it isn't this easy.

Suggesting that she have sex with him, when she might not want to, just to massage his ego is equally troublesome. As you well know, being a girl, arousal comes mentally and isn't a direct one and off switch for women. He'll know. Men aren't that obtuse.

Apologizing, admitting she was wrong and that it was a joke that went too far is a good start. It might take a while for the trust et. al. to be re-established.