Ask Me Help Desk - Mother is ignoring me, help!

My mother has been ignoring me for 4 days already. It all started when she had gotten home from work and my dad was on the computer paying some bills. She asked my father if he wanted to go out to the supermarket with her and my father said he was busy, so then she asked me to go to the market with her and I said that I was busy making my scrapbook. Which by the way when I told my mom I was busy my dad whispered to me (you better go and not give your mom any problems) Anyway I really didn't feel like going I wasn't dressed and I was feeling really down in the dumps, I wasn't in the mood because I was depressed and the only thing that was making me sane was me working on my scrap book. Anyway yeah so I told my mother that I was busy and she bust out saying "you dont ever wanna do for me," and a whole bunch of other hurtful things. I got really upset because I always do what my parents want and the one time that I don't, they explode on me. Then after she went on this rampage, I was going to go upstairs to get ready so I could go out with her to the market and she said "forget it". So I stayed home and then my dad was like "I gave you a ing clue, you should have just gone". Im thinking to myself why did he just go, my mom wanted to go with my dad in the first place anyway. I felt like he was just angry because now my mom was going to yell at him. Anyway continuing on, when my mother got home which was like an hour later, she said to me "dont ask me for anything and if you want your food, buy it yourself." I don't understand, why is she being so irrational, its always about what she feels and never about what I feel. Anyway since then she has completely been ignoring me, Like I went downstairs to say hello and she was just sitting there eatting ceral didn't say a thing just slouching around like some grey cloud of depressing crap. Im trying to be positive because lately I've been really depressed but now she's making me more depressed and it makes me want to hurt myself. And none of my sisters give a crap about what I feel, they are just telling me to deal with it. Im tierd of these childish games my mother plays its annoying and its not helping our relationship. What do I do? Talking won't help she doesn't want to hear it, and knowing my mom she's going to try to make my life a living hell for god knows how long.

Perhaps your mom is depressed as well. Give to her what you would like to have. Try and reach out to her.

Agree with homegirl50 --- give to mom, what YOU would like her to give to you. Even if you just lighten your heart enough to reach out to her she won't be able to "punish" you forever.

Rightly or wrongly, (and clearly with not the best way of showing it/talking about it) your mom feels ignored, unloved, depressed and hurt just the way you do. Most of the time the person BLAMING us for something is feeling (or doing) just what they're accusing us of. Adults are capable of being down, irrational and can project their issues.

Sometimes parents punish us for things that really don't even have to do with us - this an unfair but true part of human nature.

Withdrawing or hurting yourself will not make your problems get better and won't make your mom re-think how she's acting.. it will make everything worse.

My own mom had a lot of mental demons and depression and she'd go overboard with rage or withdrawal -- sometimes it worked to just not "react" the way I wanted to (storming off, being hurt) but be patient and even tease her a little, "I miss my mom - sure wish she'd talk to me." (sitting right next to her)
- what absolutely did NOT work was getting upset or begging for answers, affection, etc.

Make sure you have someone to talk to about your depression... sometimes it takes someone OUTSIDE the family. A counselor, a mentor... so that you can talk about what's going on at home.

Good luck.

This is something I've experienced many times, you just need to give your mom time to figure things out...

She doesn't mean anything bad by it! That's just the way some parents deal with situations.. it's almost like she's trying to make you feel bad... show her that you're fine and act like everythings normal and she will eventually go with it

Good luck!

Moms are people too. It's not as easy to be a mom than kids think.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe she didn't feel like going to the grocery store either, especially after working all day. Maybe she needed some help, or just wanted some company.

You have the right to say no, but what were you doing that was so important? Working on a scrap book? I wish I could do that. I bet your mom would love to have some free time to do something she likes as well, other than going to work, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, doing your laundry, etc. etc.

No, she shouldn't be giving you the silent treatment, but I can see why she's upset. I feel the same way a lot of the time. I ask my kids to do one small thing for me and it's always a fight. "I'm busy, I'm playing on the xbox, I want to go outside and play with my friends, I'll do it later".

Not once do they stop and think about all the things I do for them, and the home we live in, and that maybe giving me a few minutes of their time, and doing one small thing on my endless list of chores, would help a great deal.

Put yourself in your moms shoes. Unlike you, she doesn't have the option to say "I don't feel like going to the grocery store". If she did, you wouldn't have anything to eat.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Moms are people too. It's not as easy to be a mom than kids think.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe she didn't feel like going to the grocery store either, especially after working all day. Maybe she needed some help, or just wanted some company.

You have the right to say no, but what were you doing that was so important? Working on a scrap book? I wish I could do that. I bet your mom would love to have some free time to do something she likes as well, other than going to work, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, doing your laundry, etc. etc.

No, she shouldn't be giving you the silent treatment, but I can see why she's upset. I feel the same way a lot of the time. I ask my kids to do one small thing for me and it's always a fight. "I'm busy, I'm playing on the xbox, I want to go outside and play with my friends, I'll do it later".

Not once do they stop and think about all the things I do for them, and the home we live in, and that maybe giving me a few minutes of their time, and doing one small thing on my endless list of chores, would help a great deal.

Put yourself in your moms shoes. Unlike you, she doesn't have the option to say "I don't feel like going to the grocery store". If she did, you wouldn't have anything to eat.

I know but I go out and buy my own food for myself and also I clean the house and do laudry. I don't fight with my parents and I always listen to them but some occasions I just want to be left alone and that was one of them. Anyway thanks for the insight I can also see where your coming from and this was helpful, also my mother and I worked things out. :)