Ask Me Help Desk - Having an affair

I am in such a desperate situation... I let myself be in bondage for almost 5years now.I have been having an affair with a man who as manipulated, controlled, abused me, kept me away from all normal activities... I couldn't work, couldn't practice my faith, go to church, have friends, go to gym... I was not allowed to do anything...
Because he supported me finanacially every month, I let this continue. I look at myself and just cannot believe that I have put myself in such a situation, that I allowed this to happen.what happened to me... I was a brave, strong, confident woman who has been through so many challenges in life... How did I let this person control me with fear... how!!
I have no one to go seek help, no one to confide in, no one to help me, to hold my hand and take me out of this darkness.
I am 43 years old, with no work experience,
I have had enough of this torture... I have destroyed my fone and having no contact with this man... he mocks me and laughs at my predicament because he knows what he has done... he still threathens me.
I am hoping to leave this town and disappear from here but I just don't know where to start, where to go.
Ruth, south africa

I'm sure you realize disappearing is probably impossible. Moving/leaving the town is a possibility. How are you supporting yourself? Do you have friends and family who will help you?

If you have no one you have to check for support groups, shelters, clergypeople, an organization that assists women in your predicament.

Where are you living now?

If you have no contact how do you know he is laughing and threatening you? If he IS threatening you, go to the Police.

Ruth, you must use the Internet and search for; Women shelters in South Africa. From where I sit in Australia I cannot (physical) hold your hand and take you out of this darkness. However, GOD can give you that hand and light that you need to get out of this desperate situation. You must and will remove yourself from this environment Ruth! If you have two legs, you put one foot in front of the other and WALK towards FAITH.

Ruth, if you have no faith, and don't believe in God, then you can call a shelter, the police, or family, and get yourself the help you need. In fact, even if you do believe in God, I wouldn't wait for him to lend a hand, but rely on mere humans to help instead. They're available.

If he's threatening you, that's against the law, and he can be charged.

If you do want God to help, and you want to talk to other people with strong beliefs, we have a religious forum on this site. But this forum "personal growth", is not the place for God.

Call a shelter, get away from this man. Only you can help yourself. Find that strong independent woman you yourself said you are. She's still there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Ruth, if you have no faith, and don't believe in God, then you can call a shelter, the police, or family, and get yourself the help you need. In fact, even if you do believe in God, I wouldn't wait for him to lend a hand, but rely on mere humans to help instead. They're available.

If he's threatening you, that's against the law, and he can be charged.

If you do want God to help, and you want to talk to other people with strong beliefs, we have a religious forum on this site. But this forum "personal growth", is not the place for God.

Call a shelter, get away from this man. Only you can help yourself. Find that strong independent woman you yourself said you are. She's still there.

Brilliant, Alty, Brilliant!

And, yes - I will add that not everyone who posts here believes in God or the same God. Religious advice is uncalled for and I believe it's insulting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Brilliant, Alty, Brilliant!

Adn, yes - I will add that not everyone who posts here believes in God or the same God. Religious advice is uncalled for and I believe it's insulting.

I agree. This forum is not the place for religious advice, unless the OP (original poster) states that they're religious and would like religious advice, in which case the question should be move to the religious forum in my opinion. Otherwise it's just preaching, and it is insulting.

One thing posters have to keep in mind is that not everyone believes in God, or the same God they believe in. There's a time and place for religious advice. We have an entire forum for religious discussion, and heaven forbid that anyone that doesn't believe should post there. Show us the same consideration and don't preach in forums that aren't religion based.

I'm not trying to be mean, I would just like the same respect that those that believe in God, demand. I'm not debasing anyone's belief, I'm simply asking that they not force it on others.